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To ask how my “d” h spent £400 in a strip club

1000 replies

porcelaine · 07/12/2020 01:34

Posting for traffic. Please know that I am obviously naive as I have no idea what really happens in strip clubs and I don’t know what they cost, but H has just told me that his night out ended in a strip club in zone 1 and when I checked the balance there were 2 atm withdrawals for £200 apiece. So he’s spent £400 (we do not have) in a fucking strip club.
Can anyone enlighten me as to what this might buy as he claims it was just ladies dancing on tables in their lingerie which sounds pretty fucking suspect to me. £400.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
donquixotedelamancha · 07/12/2020 08:40

It’s not cheap. My DH went to a place on a stag do and ended up giving this girl €50 to leave him alone.

LMAO. Yeah, giving them money is certainly the best way to get them to leave you alone.

I've been twice and never spent more than £25 (on drinks and entry) the blokes who don't want to be there nurse a drink and form a gaggle in one corner.

Manolinette · 07/12/2020 08:41

I would be interested in the time interval between the two lots of cash being drawn out. If £200 was drawn out at 8pm then he could have gone for a meal and drinks and have a bit of cash left over. If the second lot of £200 was drawn out at 10:30pm then he had probably arranged to go an see an escort for an hour or two and needed a cash top up.

A strip club do not let you leave to draw out more cash. They will just take it from your card.

In all probability a strip club might be a complete red herring. It coudl simply have been the pub or a restaurant followed by a hooker in a hotel or her incall apartment.

Divebar · 07/12/2020 08:41

We don’t know he was in Browns unless I’ve missed that post. Someone up the thread said they lived opposite Browns which is why that name was introduced. I imagine if they’re open ( which their website says they are) then plenty of others will be too.

Nottherealslimshady · 07/12/2020 08:42

Drinks are very expensive in the one we go to. But regular naked dances are 40 quid. Private dances are alot more. Either he's had a lot of expensive drinks or a private dance or two. Some women have been known to give extras during private dances but they're obviously not supposed to.

DH and I go to strip clubs alot so I probably have a different opinion than most. I dont consider the dance to be cheating, it's a form of entertainment.
DH could cheat on me without a woman being naked.

I'd be far more annoyed about the spending of 400 quid on a night out especially when you dont have that money.

wildraisins · 07/12/2020 08:45

Did you both talk about this beforehand and agree any boundaries and whether you were OK with him even going?

It sounds like you don't really trust him and also like he is majorly taking advantage even if you did agree to it. £400 is a lot of money to blow in a night.

IdblowJonSnow · 07/12/2020 08:52

The thing is now you're very unlikely to know for sure and how are you going to trust him now?

He has really fucked up. Is he even apologetic? I wouldn't want to be with someone who spent 400 on a night out or with someone who went to a strip club and spent any money at all.

Intrigued to know why you're sleeping elsewhere and he is in your bed?!

Why is he not on the sofa or preferably the shed?

Smallsteps88 · 07/12/2020 08:53

Can anyone enlighten me as to what this might buy

If it was my DH it would buy him a divorce.

lazylinguist · 07/12/2020 08:54

I had a few reluctant trips to strip clubs / casino when I was in twenties. Its not that easy not to go in when everyone else is (can't expect him to stand outside like a lemon). Firstly... he told you. That means he trusts you not to chew his head off. If you do, he just won't tell you again.

Hmm Absolutely pathetic. Who on earth would want to be with a man who's too feeble to say no and go home? Oh and he told her? Well done him, what a prince . She should be sooo grateful he 'trusts her'. She should do more than chew his bloody head off for spending hundreds of pounds of family money on being a skanky scumbag.

WokesFromHome · 07/12/2020 08:56

I mix a lot with both working and middle class people and the latter have way lower morals. When I lived in HK many husbands I knew ended up in Wanchai strip clubs and taking Ladyboys back to sleazy hotels. Plus it's MC women who put up with that shit whilst clutching their pearls and hoping they won't have to take Tarquinius out of private school whereas a WC woman would probably toast his bollocks on their electric ring hob.

CoffeeCreamandSugar · 07/12/2020 08:58

@yetanothernamitynamechange

It’s ridiculous isn’t it? I’m literally Confused at some of these responses. It’s obviously not okay in their relationship or OP would not be posting here.

KindnessWins · 07/12/2020 09:00

I would be fuming too, you have three young children under 10 and as you said it’s money you don’t have it’s wreck less and selfish. £400 is a monthly food shop for us (£100 a week!) You need to sit down with your husband and have serious words about this and ensure it doesn’t happen again. Strip clubs are money makers for drunken men, especially if you’re paying for private lap dancers too.

ShirleyPhallus · 07/12/2020 09:02

My DH went to a place on a stag do and ended up giving this girl €50 to leave him alone

Ha ha ha ha ok HmmGrin

carlaCox · 07/12/2020 09:02

Yet he claims it was ONE dance and the lady was wearing her underwear

Haven't read the whole thread but, given what I know about strip clubs, I'd say this is 99% likely to be bollocks. I've never heard of private dances with underwear on.

I'd be more concerned about the lying than anything else OP, how can you trust someone who can't even fess up to what they've done?

Peppafrig · 07/12/2020 09:03

Ok so if we went in for an innocent meal at the strip club and left when it closed at 11 where was he the other three hours till he got home at 2am.

Twistered · 07/12/2020 09:08

@MrTiddles

Its not that easy not to go in when everyone else is (can't expect him to stand outside like a lemon).

Grow up.
It's perfectly easy not to go in.
Would you put your hand in the fire if everyone else did it?
Hmm

hardboiledeggs · 07/12/2020 09:09

Putting aside the dances etc to spend £400 that you do not have to spend is downright disrespectful to you and your kids. It looks like he has been upto no good I'm afraid. I'm sorry your having to deal with this.

ImaSababa · 07/12/2020 09:09

My DH went to a place on a stag do and ended up giving this girl €50 to leave him alone

Is that what he told you? 😂

Peppafrig · 07/12/2020 09:09

My DH went to a place on a stag do and ended up giving this girl £50 to leave him alone

Sure he did people will believe anything.

CorianderBlues · 07/12/2020 09:13

I think this is a big part of it. You can be down £100 just to walk in the door

SurroundedByCats12 · 07/12/2020 09:14

@porcelaine strip clubs are classed as vertical drinking establishments. I’ve just checked with the owner of the club I work at. ALL vertical drinking establishments have been closed since March. I don’t know who said about Browns being open but it can’t be open as a lap dancing club at the moment.

I’m sorry, but it’s far more likely to have been spent on cocaine or in a brothel.

Twistered · 07/12/2020 09:15

@Helpmylecreuset

For those of you clutching your pearls, you’ve obviously not worked in the sex industry or been close friends with anyone that has.

Well you're wrong there. Which is why I know that there are a lot of the girls who've been trafficked & a lot of girls who've been coerced and groomed into this industry.

I'll go back to clutching my pearls now.

Schummakker · 07/12/2020 09:17

Being middle classed has absolutely nothing to do with being disgusted that your husband and father of your children would pay for lap dances. How ignorant!

SurroundedByCats12 · 07/12/2020 09:17

I see browns have got around it by serving food. I wonder if your local strip club has this facility???

Peppafrig · 07/12/2020 09:17

OP just a clue of what club he was or work it out the bank machine he was at to phone up and enquire if they are open .

beautifulmonument · 07/12/2020 09:18

@Smallsteps88

Can anyone enlighten me as to what this might buy

If it was my DH it would buy him a divorce.

This!
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