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Original poster

To ask how my “d” h spent £400 in a strip club

1000 replies

porcelaine · 07/12/2020 01:34

Posting for traffic. Please know that I am obviously naive as I have no idea what really happens in strip clubs and I don’t know what they cost, but H has just told me that his night out ended in a strip club in zone 1 and when I checked the balance there were 2 atm withdrawals for £200 apiece. So he’s spent £400 (we do not have) in a fucking strip club.
Can anyone enlighten me as to what this might buy as he claims it was just ladies dancing on tables in their lingerie which sounds pretty fucking suspect to me. £400.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
LynetteScavo · 07/12/2020 03:38

I bet they thought they were genius going to a strip club when the bars are closed. He's now realised how much it actually costs to get drunk in a strip club. If he hadn't gone in in the first place this wouldn't have happened, but I doubt he got very much for his money.

Peppafrig · 07/12/2020 03:42

It would be enough to end the relationship for me I’m afraid. I’m really sorry OP he has spent your family money on dances from random woman. You deserve way better .

YoungScrappyHungry · 07/12/2020 03:45

What an absolute prick.

Peppafrig · 07/12/2020 03:45

Sorry forgot to add is this a legitimate strip club as surely it wouldn’t be allowed even in tier 1 . Unless he spent £400 on a dance with masks on and 2 meters away .

Mintyt · 07/12/2020 03:47

You do not need to leave a relationship over this, but you do need to talk about it, I would be very upset and hurt. Why did he tell you. Take your time to process how you feel and why ask him where the money was spend. He's a fool

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 07/12/2020 03:48

@user1481840227

Do you get that disposable income to go out with your 2/3 married/engaged friends to stare at someone else's penis? Perhaps ask him when your crotch watching night out will be, if it's ok for him.

Personally I don't think male strippers are the equivalent of female strippers if we are looking at it from a tit for tat basis.
Male strippers tend to be comical and just for the laugh...women don't tend to get a sexual thrill from them like the way men do from female strippers.
I would say the equivalent would be if the OP got to go out and grind on a man and flirt with him and give him a lapdance or whatever it was that would give her some kind of sexual thrill.

I agree. I wasn't suggesting a tit for tat retaliation. Just more to highlight how ridiculous it is that family money has been pissed down the drain. He either thought by taking cash out he'd be so clever as you'd never know, or he's spent it in something else if he didn't go.
user1481840227 · 07/12/2020 03:53

@HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear
Sorry I didn't mean that you were suggesting to do it as some kind of childish tit for tat game!

I suppose I meant a like for like equivalent in my book was the OP getting to go out and flirt with a man and grind on him!

So if I was to have a discussion with a man over this I wouldn't ask him how he would like it if I went to see a male stripper...because plenty would say they wouldn't mind that (because they know it's not the same) but I bet they'd all pretty much have an issue with their partner going out and actually giving a lap dance!

It was the wrong choice of words Smile

daisychain01 · 07/12/2020 04:08

H has just told me that his night out ended in a strip club in zone 1 and when I checked the balance there were 2 atm withdrawals for £200 apiece. So he’s spent £400 (we do not have) in a fucking strip club.

It doesn't matter how much he spent, that's beside the point.

What matters is that he announced to you that he was out with his mates in a sleazy joint, instead of spending his time with you, his wife.

That's not what you bought into when you got married.

It isn't normal behaviour so don't accept it as such.

It is t how healthy loving relationship should be.

You need to decide if you want to continue in a toxic dysfunctional relationship with this arrogant twat who is taking it for granted that he can behave like this with no shame whatsoever and that you'll just meekly put up with it.

In your position, I'd be putting him out with the garbage where he belongs.

Nousernamehistory · 07/12/2020 04:16

You do not need to leave a relationship over this

She absolutely can if she wants to. The only reason anyone ever needs to leave a relationship is that they don't want to be in it anymore. Personally cannot imagine being with a man who would pay family money to exploit women that way. Vile.

FourPlatinumRings · 07/12/2020 04:16

OK, so you've got a lot of LTB reactions here, but it's not that easy when you've got kids and a life together to start that process. Particularly when you're not entirely clear on what happened.

When you pointed out that his story literally didn't add up, what did he say? Could you phone the wives of the other two men and see if the stories they've been given tally with your husband's?

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 07/12/2020 04:33

[quote user1481840227]@HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear
Sorry I didn't mean that you were suggesting to do it as some kind of childish tit for tat game!

I suppose I meant a like for like equivalent in my book was the OP getting to go out and flirt with a man and grind on him!

So if I was to have a discussion with a man over this I wouldn't ask him how he would like it if I went to see a male stripper...because plenty would say they wouldn't mind that (because they know it's not the same) but I bet they'd all pretty much have an issue with their partner going out and actually giving a lap dance!

It was the wrong choice of words Smile[/quote]
I know what you meant.
It's so grubby.

sergeilavrov · 07/12/2020 04:36

I'd be surprised if a club currently able to open in Zone One of London was pressuring customers for private dances. One of the hallmarks of strip clubs in central London is the discretion of dancers, in that they will offer once - and if turned down, walk away. Too many male colleagues have discussed the advantages of central London clubs as opposed to those further out Hmm If you know which ATM he used, you can work out the club and then get the prices online. However, in Zone One, I'd be surprised to hear there was much beyond private dances happening; some don't allow nude dances at all.

I'd be beyond caring if I were you: throwing away £400 of family money is unacceptable. He can pay it back, and spend some time elsewhere taking the kids 50/50 until you decide what you want to do next. You have the right to take the time you need to make a decision. I'm sorry you've been put in this decision, so so unfair to you and the children.

daisychain01 · 07/12/2020 04:39

Why go to all that bother @FourPlatinumRings, the man's a waster. He's shown his wife what his mentality is towards women, both her and the women he squandered their family money on, as objects there for his entertainment.

What better reason to kick him to the kerb rather than wasting the best years of her life trying to make it work out. Nobody says leaving a relationship is easy but it's a damn sight better than having to spend the rest of your life compromising.

readingismycardio · 07/12/2020 04:47

He even had the cheek to tell you that the lady was wearing underwear, as if it helps a lot! To me, that would be itself a deal breaker, never mind the fact he spent £400 that he could've spent on his children.

I am so sorry, OPThanks

LouiseTrees · 07/12/2020 05:05

He’s used family money so tell him to make up for it you are selling his stuff. Does he have anything big ticket you could start with?

BloggersBlog · 07/12/2020 05:14

My DH went to a place on a stag do and ended up giving this girl €50 to leave him alone

Hmm ummmm... Pull the other one

premmie09 · 07/12/2020 05:29

Is he happy for you to take out £400 and pop up to a male strip club to spend there as you wish?

AngelDelightUK · 07/12/2020 05:30

I’m not trying to excuse his behaviour, but is it possible he got drunk and just got caught up in the whole thing and didn’t think.

Was it a members only place? That might explain the first withdrawal, membership fees

Helpmylecreuset · 07/12/2020 05:32

@BloggersBlog

My DH went to a place on a stag do and ended up giving this girl €50 to leave him alone

Hmm ummmm... Pull the other one

You can think what you like.

He has bought dances in the past, but not on this occasion.

He said it seemed like she had been trafficked.

Twistered · 07/12/2020 05:39

*. He has bought dances in the past, but not on this occasion.

He said it seemed like she had been trafficked. *

The girls he previously paid were probably trafficked too. Very grim

RLOU30 · 07/12/2020 05:40

I live opposite Browns in Liverpool Street if this is where he went it is open Thursday-Saturday. Just to answer PPs questions.
it’s bloody grim in there. An old colleague of mine spent £500 for 2 hours in a back private room but was sheepish about what went on Envy
Sorry OP Flowers

Helpmylecreuset · 07/12/2020 05:49

So much middle class horror on this thread, and actually tbh on pretty much any thread on MN.

... Stay at Home... all sex workers are trafficked.., do I pay my cleaner during lockdown?

I think OP just wanted to know if her H had maybe paid for sex, or if £400 could be realistically spent in a strip club.

For those of you clutching your pearls, you’ve obviously not worked in the sex industry or been close friends with anyone that has.

RLOU30 · 07/12/2020 05:55

For those of you clutching your pearls, you’ve obviously not worked in the sex industry or been close friends with anyone that has.

Devastated. I feel like I haven’t lived yet..

Your so cool.

LardeeLar · 07/12/2020 05:57

Central London is tightly regimented, it wont be anything "of the flesh". My money is on cocaine and alcohol

MerchantOfVenom · 07/12/2020 05:57

For those of you clutching your pearls, you’ve obviously not worked in the sex industry or been close friends with anyone that has.

Well done on establishing that wee nugget of total obviousness.

And back to the thread.

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