Are you ‘lucky’ If you’ve done well for yourself?

[MissMessy12]

If you have a nice home, financially comfortable, happy family life does it annoy you when people comment on how ‘lucky’ you are?
To me luck is about chance, winning the lottery for example or being in the right place at the right time.
Everything I have, I’ve worked hard for, in my opinion has nothing to do with luck.

Well it depends really.

Lucky comes from a huge variety of influences eg coming from a nice middle class background with supportive parents who sent you to a good school. I'd consider that lucky.

No one means they think you won your house in the lottery.

I used to have everything you have mentioned above and have lost the lot not my family which I am very grateful for

When I look back and people called me lucky I know now what they meant and I hope someday soon someone will call me lucky again

Enjoy what you have and hold on

Does someone who works 6 minimum wage days a week, but is single so can only afford a crappy flat in a rough area, just not work hard enough?

Even an absence of bad luck is lucky.

There is always an element of right place right time. Lucky isn't the right word but fortunate is fair enough. Very few people are where they are without some sort of lucky break to be honest.

Yea, no luck at all involved in being born into a reasonably affluent society, having access to an education and having a genetic basis which allows you capitalise on the opportunities afforded to you...

It absolutely is luck. And to say otherwise is foolish.

Hmm well I haven’t worked for what I’ve got, so yes.

DH got an entirely unexpected inheritance so we could get on the property ladder (his grandad saved every penny).

DH found out he got a job while we were on our honeymoon, he was the third employee of what is now a billion dollar company (sounds fancy but we are nowhere near millionaires haha).

We have 2 kids so yes I can take credit for that.

So yes, lots of luck. But yes we do make shrewd financial decisions, and are definitely ‘yes people’ and happy to put work in to situations, for example DH regularly worked 24hr+ days and often pre-covid worked abroad weeks at a time while I had babies at home. We also love creating opportunities and challenges for ourselves and grabbing opportunities when they present themselves.

Well, unless you beat all the odds (terrible childhood, poor education, lack of support, discrimination) then I'd say luck has a significant role to play in your (or my) "success". Sure, I work hard. But do I work harder than, say, a single mother working a minimum wage job and looking after her kids? Absolutely not. It took a lot of determination to do well at school at university. But did it take more determination than someone fleeing a conflict zone with their family? Again, absolutely not.

"Successful" (wealthy) people tend to grossly overestimate how hard they have worked, in my view. I have a decent income, a roof over my head and a loving family. I'd be a fool not to recognise my immeasurable luck and privilege in that. If I'm being honest, I don't think I've done that much to earn it.

I think that for most people its a mix of luck and hard work.

eg, I've just finished an MSc and there was hard work involved (eg, getting my laptop out in the evenings rather than watching tv, watching endless youtube videos explaining statistics) but also luck/circumstance (eg, we can live with me only working part time, I have a DM happy to do childcare when not in lockdown so I could finish the dissertation).

Of course you are lucky... lucky that you were born where you were, when you were... lucky that you were able to work hard and had opportunities as well as the skills, abilities, physical and mental health and strength to be able to take those opportunities... and I say that as someone who 'has done well'.

My parents bang on and on about how they weren't lucky, they worked for every penny etc. etc.... but that is a privilege.

It is also a way to differentiate themselves from people who don't 'do well' and also deny support to those who are less lucky.

I think having all of those things is usually 50% luck and 50% hard work. So yes, I think it probably does make you lucky.

If hard work did it, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire, as the saying goes.

Born white, with non-abusive parents who valued education, as a woman in a Western country in the 20th century rather than literally any other time and place. No disability, no major traumas, genetic lottery with brains.

I've won about 20 lotteries. Lucky me.

Also agree with @DiseasesOfTheSheep , we are so lucky to be born where and when we were. DH and my sons are about as lucky as it gets - white boy born in the UK in the past 40 years. People have different world views and perspectives and if you have a broad perspective then there is no way you can deny your luck if you’re born here and now.

Hmm it’s difficult
I am under 30, I have a well paid job, 3 bedroom House in London that has a very small mortgage left.
A car, savings etc I do work hard and long hours however I would no harder than my sister who works long shifts at the hospital and went to university etc.
She doesn’t own her own home and is paid A lot less than what I am paid.

Is this apropos of Elizabeth Day’s column in the Mail where she eked out a page of outrage because someone on social media called her a “lucky girl”? 😳

Used to have a lot more than I have now, but things changed. I feel so so lucky for having a supportive family and good friends, also I work harder now than I ever did when I had the nice house, financial stability etc I actually find it quite arrogant when people say it’s nothing to do with luck....being in good health and able to work is lucky in itself.

I have worked extremely hard for the financial security I have -- and have had no financial support from anyone since leaving university. So I definitely feel I have earned what I have.

That said, I'm lucky to have had a good education that underpinned my career, a family who were prepared to part-finance my education and believed in the importance of it, and also have benefited from some lucky breaks throughout my career which provided me with useful networks. These things aren't open to everyone.

For almost everyone, its a mix of luck and graft. Brains and application will usually only get you so far if you struggle to get to university and to get access to the networks you need to get you the best jobs. By the same token you can't coast your way through life by nepotism alone and there has to be some aptitude and hard work going with it.

If you have a roof over your head and food In your belly then yes you are lucky. I personally don’t consider myself lucky as everything my family has is down to my mum working her arse off.

This year of all years one should consider themselves to be lucky if they have good health.

I agree, the people that say we're lucky are usually those who blow a lot of money on alcohol, meals out and takeaways. We choose to save our money to spend on things for our house. We've always worked really hard, and were lucky enough to inherit some money when MIL died, but I think one of the best things we ever did, was after buying a brand new car on finance, once the finance was paid off, instead of just blowing the extra money each month, we continued to pay the same amount into a savings account (that was when they actually paid interest, lol), then the next time we needed a new car, the money was already there, so we didn't have to pay loads in interest. We then did the same when we paid our mortgage off. Maybe sometimes people are 'lucky' but most just get where they are by sheer hard work in my experience.

Surely if not luck, it’s random selection right from the start. Did the sperm that fertilised the egg happen to be the one with certain factors that enabled you to survive pregnancy, get through labour unscathed without deprivation of oxygen or an injury causing brain damage or some profound disability etc etc.

Was this inspired by the article in 'You' magazine?

You can work hard and still be lucky. Personally I think there is an element of luck involved in almost any success you can think of.

Happy family life? You are lucky that you found a good partner and were able to have healthy children. Plenty of people try for years to have a family and never do, through no fault of their own, just sheer bad luck. I have a lovely son, not through anything specific I've done, just because I'm lucky mine (and DPs) body/genes/whatever allowed me to have him.

Nice home? You are lucky that you in a position to be able to save up tens of thousands of pounds for a deposit, fees etc. Or lucky enough to have bought a house before they cost £300k on average and you needed a 20% deposit. Plenty of people who work extremely hard will never be able to own a home.

Financially comfortable? Your salary isn't necessarily to do with hard work. Plenty of the hardest jobs I can think of are min wage or not much above it. I have a reasonable paying job I love but how easily things could have turned out differently if not for random luck - I was born to parents who encouraged education, lived in a nice area with a good school, directed (for want of a better word) towards university, and the qualifications I earned opened a multitude of doors and options. Yes I worked hard. But my god there are a huge number of factors which also contributed that have nothing to do with me or how hard I worked. Total and absolute luck.

TBF if some arse called me a 'lucky girl' they'd get short shrift. Mainly for the 'girl' part.