To think people think your a better person because of your job status/money?

[Worriedaboutcovid19]

Just musing really after a discussion with my partner.

I really wonder why money/job title has such an affect on the way people treat you as its so strange when you really think about it.

When you meet someone for first time they ask you what job you do, if you say something 'impressive' like a surgeon/solicitor the person asking instantly looks impressed and the you will get treated with much respect.

I thought thats because you obviously worked extremely hard and must be committed/consistent/have strong work ethics which are valuable skills in society that not everyone has.

However..

The same type of respect/admiration goes to people who are wealthy by luck/inheritance whatever.

Random Example: if your friend has invited another friend to joint you for a meal they may say "my friend 'molly' will be joining us for tea tonight. Her dad's the owner of warburtons bread."

Why is that relevant?!

Its not just socially either. It impacts your experiences in how you navigate the world.

I drive a 20 year old banger, own a house in a shit area and am a black woman. However I am also a professional on a very good salary but I am admittedly frugal and not bothered about big houses/cars. Not because I am moral, but because I prefer to waste my cash elsewhere (makeup, clothes and holidays tbh).

I've had several incidents when I've had to deal with professionals whilst wearing a tracksuit on a scruffy lazy day.

Incidents:

1. Getting rushed into hospital due to illness. The staff were kind of dismissive of me until my job title came up. Then suddenly when they realised I was quite a high up professional, the attitude completely changes and I have such good care. Then when admitted to a ward the doctor comes in with "ooh it says on your notes you do XYZ?" As if to say "your one of us, let's be friendly".

1. Again in a scruffy tracksuit and driving my banger car through a rough estate. I get into a car accident (other drivers fault completely).

The police show up. Treat me with utter disdain and suspicion. Ask where I was heading. So I tell them I was on my way home to get dressed to go to work after staying at a friend's. Police ask me where I work in a very abrupt manner. I tell them and suddenly I'm treated so well, asked how I am, comment on how hard my job must be and lots of banter/polite chit chat.

I was obviously prejudged. But prejudged as what? Not worthy of respect as I may be poor? Not a valuable person as I may work in an unskilled job or be unemployed?

These are just 2 incidents that stand out in a long chain.

I've also noticed I get the best treatment from my GP's. If I cant get an appointment they will email me to see if I would like one the next day which isn't typical protocol. They refer me instantly to other services if needed without being dismissive, ask me how the jobs going etc. Yet I know of 2 other people in low paid jobs in retail who have polar opposite experiences with the same surgery.

So I ask mumsnet why do you think this is?
Why do people value others based on job status and money?

There are people in my profession who are awful people as with any other job. There are people who work as a part time waitress/waiter who are lovely people.

Job and money literally have no bearing on how moral a human is. Its basic logic. Yet society still treat strangers better if they drive a range rover and live in a 5 bed house. Why? Putting them on a pedal stool won't suddenly make you rich too or give you the job/house they have.

Why is society like this?

@CuriousSeal

I guess in the same way as Olympic athletes are respected for their achievements and hard work, so are people with impressive careers. I don't think that there is anything wrong with this though.

I think the fact that some people with more ordinary jobs are judged negatively or treated badly is a seperate issue. It's really unfair that people are judged on their age, race, gender or appearance.

But are Olympic athletes or those with fancy careers better persons?

@NeverTwerkNaked no of course not 🤔. The point is it is definitely their professional status that is making my managers prioritise. Or not.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose As per my original post, definitely not. I just think that people in successful careers will always achieve a higher level of respect from some people.

@WiseOwlWan but within an organisation that often makes sense as more senior people are generally dealing with the most pressing priorities? I would prioritise something the chief exec or a director asked for, not because I am in awe of their status but because it would be a high priory for the organisation. Similarly the work I do is far more high priority than the majority of the work my juniors do. So within an organisation it is usually quite a logical approach.

@WiseOwlWan
I don’t know that enough people get this. Or deliberately ignore it. Clearly there has to be some sort of hierarchy in systems I order to prioritise key elements and concerns and we create this environment that should support those carrying the most weight for the organisation. In levelling up people we have put more weight on some and less on others. It’s a disaster.

What job do you do?

But are Olympic athletes or those with fancy careers better persons?

Obviously not, but I know a teeny tiny segment of the billions of people on this planet and I will only ever know a teeny number.

The people I know and like all have something about them - intelligence, humour, and yes, good looks. Some are also rich or talented. Those are all superficial qualities, not moral ones.

I don't like anyone I consider to be a bad person (and I'm pretty bloody rigid about that), but I'm not friends with anyone who hasn't got some superficial quality like intelligence or humour AS WELL AS being a good person. I.e. Just being a good person doesn't cut it with me.

And of course we ALL decide who is better than others according to our own criteria. That's why some people are our friends and others aren't.

(For example, if I said this in real life you'd be well within your rights to dismiss me as a bitch you want nothing to do with, and no doubt some have. No skin off my nose.)

But are Olympic athletes or those with fancy careers better persons?

Actually I do think Olympic athletes are in some respect better persons. I mean, they may also be pyschopaths, twats, or other bad things. But the fact they have done what it takes to become an Olympic athlete is an absolutely huge achievement.

Similarly, anyone who is a medical doctor automatically goes into my top 1% respect category, initially at least. I have absolutely huge respect for what it takes just to qualify to do that job.

In fact DD music teacher is a medical student, and based on that and the fact she has a grade 8 in two musical instruments, she goes into to my top 1%. Actually her musical competence alone makes her more impressive to me than 99% of people, who've never put in the several thousand hours of practice needed to become unusually competent at any single thing.

@RandomLondoner

But are Olympic athletes or those with fancy careers better persons?

Actually I do think Olympic athletes are in some respect better persons. I mean, they may also be pyschopaths, twats, or other bad things. But the fact they have done what it takes to become an Olympic athlete is an absolutely huge achievement.

Similarly, anyone who is a medical doctor automatically goes into my top 1% respect category, initially at least. I have absolutely huge respect for what it takes just to qualify to do that job.

In fact DD music teacher is a medical student, and based on that and the fact she has a grade 8 in two musical instruments, she goes into to my top 1%. Actually her musical competence alone makes her more impressive to me than 99% of people, who've never put in the several thousand hours of practice needed to become unusually competent at any single thing.

This is the thing - does anybody actively think "I really like people who haven't made anything of themselves"?

I don't mean people who haven't got impressive careers or earn lots of money, but even if it's an interest rather than a talent or career, people who have a passion in life are generally better company.

Just taking the time to dedicate yourself to something - anything - helps build personality.