To think people think your a better person because of your job status/money?

[Worriedaboutcovid19]

Just musing really after a discussion with my partner.

I really wonder why money/job title has such an affect on the way people treat you as its so strange when you really think about it.

When you meet someone for first time they ask you what job you do, if you say something 'impressive' like a surgeon/solicitor the person asking instantly looks impressed and the you will get treated with much respect.

I thought thats because you obviously worked extremely hard and must be committed/consistent/have strong work ethics which are valuable skills in society that not everyone has.

However..

The same type of respect/admiration goes to people who are wealthy by luck/inheritance whatever.

Random Example: if your friend has invited another friend to joint you for a meal they may say "my friend 'molly' will be joining us for tea tonight. Her dad's the owner of warburtons bread."

Why is that relevant?!

Its not just socially either. It impacts your experiences in how you navigate the world.

I drive a 20 year old banger, own a house in a shit area and am a black woman. However I am also a professional on a very good salary but I am admittedly frugal and not bothered about big houses/cars. Not because I am moral, but because I prefer to waste my cash elsewhere (makeup, clothes and holidays tbh).

I've had several incidents when I've had to deal with professionals whilst wearing a tracksuit on a scruffy lazy day.

Incidents:

1. Getting rushed into hospital due to illness. The staff were kind of dismissive of me until my job title came up. Then suddenly when they realised I was quite a high up professional, the attitude completely changes and I have such good care. Then when admitted to a ward the doctor comes in with "ooh it says on your notes you do XYZ?" As if to say "your one of us, let's be friendly".

1. Again in a scruffy tracksuit and driving my banger car through a rough estate. I get into a car accident (other drivers fault completely).

The police show up. Treat me with utter disdain and suspicion. Ask where I was heading. So I tell them I was on my way home to get dressed to go to work after staying at a friend's. Police ask me where I work in a very abrupt manner. I tell them and suddenly I'm treated so well, asked how I am, comment on how hard my job must be and lots of banter/polite chit chat.

I was obviously prejudged. But prejudged as what? Not worthy of respect as I may be poor? Not a valuable person as I may work in an unskilled job or be unemployed?

These are just 2 incidents that stand out in a long chain.

I've also noticed I get the best treatment from my GP's. If I cant get an appointment they will email me to see if I would like one the next day which isn't typical protocol. They refer me instantly to other services if needed without being dismissive, ask me how the jobs going etc. Yet I know of 2 other people in low paid jobs in retail who have polar opposite experiences with the same surgery.

So I ask mumsnet why do you think this is?
Why do people value others based on job status and money?

There are people in my profession who are awful people as with any other job. There are people who work as a part time waitress/waiter who are lovely people.

Job and money literally have no bearing on how moral a human is. Its basic logic. Yet society still treat strangers better if they drive a range rover and live in a 5 bed house. Why? Putting them on a pedal stool won't suddenly make you rich too or give you the job/house they have.

Why is society like this?

OP I also drive a banger (too stingy to upgrade, rather invest money) and live in rougher area although where I am is extremely nice! I also have a status job in that people do make more effort with you once they know who you are and what you do. One part of it is money- they realise you are going to be a good customer/have the means to do what you are asking of them.

However, on the downside I don't think this is just about status, it's also about race and gender. Particularly in the health-service, I have experienced a lot of male arrogant professionals whose treatment of me (and the person dependent on me) has fallen short of what should have happened. Perhaps this doesn't happen to you in that setting as much as they know who you are/what you do!

I agree with your basic premise though. I went to a 'status' university, and don't appear that way, so people are always surprised, and in my twenties I had a lot of 'but you are so normal' type remarks. Now I do a job which in actually is a pile of shit at times but has a reasonable status in that people think you are clever (although also dislike you simultaneously and think you are up yourself!) I do think I get reasonable treatment in service situations where this job is known compared with when it doesn't come up.

I think British society is notorious for this, I've heard that some other cultures are more democratic in their regard for people and 'what you do' isn't the most important thing, but I've never lived in one so I don't know.

I'm a scientist and many people have a 'you must be smart' response, and doctors immediately change their attitude when they realise I know about biology.
I also noticed the difference in that doctors immediately warm up to me now when I answer that I am in biomedical research. I know very little about hardcore biology or medicine outside of the pop science common knowledge, my specialism is in mathematical modelling. But still, I do get these respectful vibes now, and realised that previously the attitude has often been borderline patronising

I work in quite a senior role but unless you know my industry you’d not understand when I told you. However I’m treated with respect irrelevant, possibly as I’m confident and not the type to take any shit. I guess I look expensively put together too.

However I did notice it with my 23 year old daughter. Someone asked her recently what she did when I was there, and she responded I’m a solicitor,, and the atmosphere kinda changed as everyone looked at her. I simply assume it’s because it takes six or seven years to qualify as a solicitor from the start of your degree, and most people know it’s not easy, hence why they are impressed.

As such, my impression is the harder something is to achieve, the more impressed people are.

I think mentioning someone’s job and where they live when describing them is very common as a sort of conversation opener. I may say “this is Jane, she’s a doctor/ she lives near you in London” or something but I would equally mention an interesting hobby / she’s just had a baby/ she’s just run a marathon last week if relevant. I wouldn’t mention all the successes in her life though and I wouldn’t mention plenty of other hints that are status markers such as the make of her car or if she has a designer handbag.

[quote DonnaQuixotedelaManchester]@AccidentallyOnPurpose I think some people just take a lot of shortcuts, too - they are economical with their manners and only turn on the pleasantries when they have to.[/quote]
Yes. However it's highly coincidental that they "had the need to" after finding out my English is great,I speak other languages too, I went to Uni, I'm well read ,can hold intelligent conversations etc.

I don't like people anymore, so the assumptions don't bother me. It means it's more likely I'll be left alone.

Also do people mention careers more than jobs I wonder? I find I’m more likely to mention that Jane is a doctor / dentist/ solicitors / professional jockey / artist / singer than if she had a job that wasn’t so much of her identity. I wouldn’t say “Jane works in IT / in Tesco/ for an insurance company” unless someone asked me specify what she did?

I’m sure I’m not wording that properly

As such, my impression is the harder something is to achieve, the more impressed people are.

I think the only job I truly would be impressed by is an astronaut. Or if someone had come from a very disadvantaged background & had done very well with their own business.

Only silly people.

I know someone whose main job is as a farm worker but he Leo works for Search & Rescue. He turns out in all weathers, any time of the day or night, and can track a person across a grassy hillside in pouring rain in the dark. Given the choice between him and a suit, in an emergency I'd have him on my side any day.

My brother is an accountant and while I love him, he's hopeless in a crisis.

also. Not Leo

If you work in a profession that requires a degree in a traditional subject and or post grad or professional level qualification such as accountant, it is assumed that you are more literate, confident and not likely to take poor service in any shape or form. If you dress with self respect the same assumption applies. Regardless of race, or perhaps especially if not a member of the majority race this applies more.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it is the way.

Likewise if you speak in clearly, confidently and thoughtfully, it will be presumed that you know what you are talking about.

If you ever want someone to not talk to you ever again tell them you are a SAHM!!! Apparently you are not worth anyone's interest then.

I've experienced this too OP. I've got a very comfy but scruffy parka and I must look really dodgy wearing it (especially if it's with trainers). I've twice been accused of shoplifting (I wasn't) and regularly get followed/ eyed with suspicion by security guards. This doesn't happen when i wear my smart wool coat and "proper shoes ". I'm very slim for my age (46) and have long unstyled hair. My husband has charmingly suggested that my stature + age + scruffy clothes might visually suggest "heroin addict".

On one of the occasions the security guard called the police who followed me half way home and asked to see my receipt for the wine I'd "stolen". When i showed it to them and i started to speak (i have quite a posh voice) their demeanor immediately changed. I told them I'm a solicitor and they changed again becoming positively deferential and apologising.

You've mentioned your race and I'm sorry to say (as I'm sure you are well aware) that that will also be a factor in the assumptions some people make from appearance. My 15 year old son says his black friends get stopped by the police frequently even if they're just popping to Tesco Express for their mums etc.

DH & DB are accountants. Work for a MC law firm & big 4. Absolutely shite in a crisis @Mintjulia in a zombie apocalypse I will just have to leave them behind.

I think with job descriptions if someone does a 'traditional' well known job such as teacher, doctor, accountant, plumber, electrician, hairdresser travel agent etc. It is tempting to describe them with their job title. These jobs are understood by people of all generations & backgrounds. These jobs are often entrenched in the community. Many other jobs aren't so instantly recognisable. If you said project manager, recruitment consultant, business development manager to my parents they would not have quite the same understanding of the role.

I slightly disagree. I think an ‘Everyman’ vibe gets you more respect. If you come across as the kind of person who respects and likes people from all walks of life you will get more respect from strangers than if you are seen as being a particular type.

People treating you formally rather than warmly can be a subtle form of contempt, not respect.

I don't think you can generalise over who is good in a crisis. Plenty of academic professionals are that too and I do all my own DIY as far as I can and all sorts of work up ladders, with hammers and the like never mind being good at organsing and mother of 5 and lawyer.

On people making assumptions this is funny

They say you have a matter of seconds to make an impression on someone. In that tiny amount of time your brain is using all senses and gathering all the available evidence to make a judgement on what kind of person you are (going back to when humans first evolved to decide if what they're confronted with is threatening). So we can't help but judge. We do it for our own safety.
The problem comes because we have developed unconscious biases (and sometimes conscious biases) - formed through both first hand experience and what society tells us.
So yes, people judge other people on all sorts of unfair grounds. They way they look, they way they sound, their name, job title, where they grew up/went to school/work, who they socialise/sleep with.
I once did some unconscious bias training and was horrified to discover I had a bias against my own gender! All because of what society had indoctrinated in me.

Yes!!!
I am of Indian origin, I don't look my age so people often don't credit me as 'knowledgeable' and I am also a divorced lone parent.

But the minute my legal profession is revealed and or they see the car I drive, those same people that weren't particularly interested or warm towards me in the first instance, fall over themselves to engage with me.

I absolutely think your status has a lot to do with what importance society gives to you.

Try being a single mother. You find out who needs their acquaintances to validate them. And if you cant validate them then your purpose is to make them feel superior.

I think it's social capital more than just plain money. Money is one of the things that gives you social capital though.

In some countries, I've heard, it's considered a bit rude to ask people what they do as soon as you meet them. You're supposed to get to know them a bit first.

I think people judge based on other things more than they do on your job. Manner, appearance, voice, accent etc make a much more immediate impression, before you are even necessarily aware of what a person's job is. Not that I'm particularly justifying judging people on those things either.
I'm a low-paid, part-time teacher, partly a supply teacher. That's not especially likely to impress anyone. But I'm bright, articulate, fairly confident and have quite an RP accent. I find that people tend to deal with me in a fairly respectful manner.

Jobs dont tell you what a person's value is, but they can tell you what their values are.

I don't think its necessarily job status, but also if your job sounds interesting as well. My previous job I was relatively low level but it sounded really interesting and people were also keen to hear more.

My current job is entry level and the pay is piss poor, but people like the sound of it and it involves animals so again people always show an interest in me

It's partly true and very unfair.
I know some people with great jobs and are regarded highly in their profession. On real life they are nasty with no actual morals.
Have affairs, drink and drive etc

There is some mums at my daughters school that drive huge brand new cars with beautiful houses. Are they nice people? In a word NO.