To think people think your a better person because of your job status/money?

[Worriedaboutcovid19]

Just musing really after a discussion with my partner.

I really wonder why money/job title has such an affect on the way people treat you as its so strange when you really think about it.

When you meet someone for first time they ask you what job you do, if you say something 'impressive' like a surgeon/solicitor the person asking instantly looks impressed and the you will get treated with much respect.

I thought thats because you obviously worked extremely hard and must be committed/consistent/have strong work ethics which are valuable skills in society that not everyone has.

However..

The same type of respect/admiration goes to people who are wealthy by luck/inheritance whatever.

Random Example: if your friend has invited another friend to joint you for a meal they may say "my friend 'molly' will be joining us for tea tonight. Her dad's the owner of warburtons bread."

Why is that relevant?!

Its not just socially either. It impacts your experiences in how you navigate the world.

I drive a 20 year old banger, own a house in a shit area and am a black woman. However I am also a professional on a very good salary but I am admittedly frugal and not bothered about big houses/cars. Not because I am moral, but because I prefer to waste my cash elsewhere (makeup, clothes and holidays tbh).

I've had several incidents when I've had to deal with professionals whilst wearing a tracksuit on a scruffy lazy day.

Incidents:

1. Getting rushed into hospital due to illness. The staff were kind of dismissive of me until my job title came up. Then suddenly when they realised I was quite a high up professional, the attitude completely changes and I have such good care. Then when admitted to a ward the doctor comes in with "ooh it says on your notes you do XYZ?" As if to say "your one of us, let's be friendly".

1. Again in a scruffy tracksuit and driving my banger car through a rough estate. I get into a car accident (other drivers fault completely).

The police show up. Treat me with utter disdain and suspicion. Ask where I was heading. So I tell them I was on my way home to get dressed to go to work after staying at a friend's. Police ask me where I work in a very abrupt manner. I tell them and suddenly I'm treated so well, asked how I am, comment on how hard my job must be and lots of banter/polite chit chat.

I was obviously prejudged. But prejudged as what? Not worthy of respect as I may be poor? Not a valuable person as I may work in an unskilled job or be unemployed?

These are just 2 incidents that stand out in a long chain.

I've also noticed I get the best treatment from my GP's. If I cant get an appointment they will email me to see if I would like one the next day which isn't typical protocol. They refer me instantly to other services if needed without being dismissive, ask me how the jobs going etc. Yet I know of 2 other people in low paid jobs in retail who have polar opposite experiences with the same surgery.

So I ask mumsnet why do you think this is?
Why do people value others based on job status and money?

There are people in my profession who are awful people as with any other job. There are people who work as a part time waitress/waiter who are lovely people.

Job and money literally have no bearing on how moral a human is. Its basic logic. Yet society still treat strangers better if they drive a range rover and live in a 5 bed house. Why? Putting them on a pedal stool won't suddenly make you rich too or give you the job/house they have.

Why is society like this?

I’m going to disagree with you.

I’m sure the police deal day with people from all walks of life and they form instant opinions based on experience.

It’s a gut instinct survival method.

They will know for example drugs are more rife in X areas, or thefts are more likely, even down to the car being insured - they have to think of these things.

Of course people pre-judge, and of course (and very sadly) race plays a part. I had similar with my GP once - when he found out I was a solicitor it was all suddenly very warm and collegiate.

I don’t know what to say OP. I’m wealthy, drive a banger, don’t set much store by appearance, actively try to treat other people even-handedly.. not sure what else can be done.

Because a lot of people consider financial value when they judge someone's worth.
Basic respect is a myth for most people. It's actually a completely arbitrary and subjective measure of what they think others are worth( financially or otherwise).

I agree with you. It's because we live in a capitalist society and are fed the myth that wealth is the result of hard work. In some cases, that's true but many people are unaware that their success is largely due to privilege. While the rich and beautiful continue to be worshipped by the media, people will remain blind to the fact that capitalism is rotten to the core.

Because people with a high up job are more likely to be able to articulate a complaint as they are intelligent, may have friends in high places.

@BluebellsGreenbells

I’m going to disagree with you.

I’m sure the police deal day with people from all walks of life and they form instant opinions based on experience.

It’s a gut instinct survival method.

They will know for example drugs are more rife in X areas, or thefts are more likely, even down to the car being insured - they have to think of these things.

I get it in regards to the police matter, although basic respect should always be held for other IMO which they didn't show.

But even so, what about my other points? Do you not think people value others more because of money and job titles?

Do you think it makes no difference?

I feel it does unfortunately but am happy to be proven otherwise. Would be nice if I was wrong but I sadly don't think so.

@SandysMam

Because people with a high up job are more likely to be able to articulate a complaint as they are intelligent, may have friends in high places.

In a professional sense that is correct. If someone comes into my job and is say.. a barrister, everyone rushes around to make up we've donated the I'd and crossed the T's and my bosses boss will often ring regularly for updates. I work in health and social care.

But it also goes across to outside of work I find. Friends are often introduced by their job titles or I know where they live/what they do before I've even met them as people will say 'Jane is coming, she lives in chesire/she's a dentist' etc.

Its rarely 'jane is coming, she ran 3 marathons and raised thousands for charity last year'

Isn’t it also for some people a means of identifying someone, as much as you might say, ‘ I’m bringing Ruth today, you’ve not met her, she has the most fantastic blonde hair’?

Or, ‘I’m bringing Ruth, she’s great, manages her four children under five like a Noreland Nanny.... ‘

I know I’ve often introduced someone from one social group of my friends to another friend with a ‘hook’ that describes or encourages conversation.

That and I’d be interested to meet the daughter of the man who owns Warburtons bread not because of her financial status or otherwise but because I like bread.

People are interesting, I like mixing my different social groups. Some professionals, some don’t work outside the home. Irrelevant how they fund their life.

Some people judge based on wealth, some people judge based on the quality of a person’s manicure. People are different. I like and respect some, can’t bear others.

I want to know what high status job you have that gets you put on a 'pedal stool'?

It's because we live in a capitalist society and are fed the myth that wealth is the result of hard work.

I kinda of agree with this, now I'm certainly comfortable not rich but live a little mc bubble. I'm constantly shocked by how entitled some people are. My parents are immigrants who came to the country with nothing & did well so I feel lucky if that makes sense & am aware of my privilege. I also drive an old car as zero interest but some people seem to think having an expensive car literally makes them better. I don't really understand it.

I guess certain jobs have a status attached eg a Doctor will be a good person but I was brought up to question authority.

Pedal Stool???!!!!!

@Love51

I want to know what high status job you have that gets you put on a 'pedal stool'?

One that allows her to buy these fancy things called 'smart phones' that think they are being 'smart' when they 'correct' your spelling.

Working class snobbery encompasses all of this

@Love51

I want to know what high status job you have that gets you put on a 'pedal stool'?

I won't say exactly what as its very outing. Not many black women who drive bangers on a rough estate with my job!

But i work in a hospital as a professional and now quite high up in management.

I personally don't care for cars so don't bother replacing it as it works fine. And my house was my first buy to get on the property ladder so in a rough area. My neighbours are fantastic and it's close to my hospital so I have zero desire to move!

However people have often commented in bemusement of my lack of desire to 'upgrade'.
However I am more bemused at the thought of 'upgrading. Why would I get ride of a cheap to run perfectly good car why I'm not even into cars?
Why would I move to a bigger house in a nicer area when I'm always at work anyway and don't need the room?

I think its because of like others have stated, capitalism?

Apologies 'pedalstal' my phone autocorrects everything and is American!

Apologies for offence

Yes thank you!

The OP is clearly facing racism in a lot of these situation which is why some people are treating her so badly. But I have definitely experienced the 'instant respect because of what you do' even when someone is treating you decently to begin with. I'm a scientist and many people have a 'you must be smart' response, and doctors immediately change their attitude when they realise I know about biology. When I was a student the change in attitude was incredible when people asked which university I was at. Nice to take advantage of but shocking really.

People use your job as a measure of your education and competency; they lazily assume that if you can accomplish something, you will. Once they've determined you are of a certain level of education and intelligence (however misguided they may be), they have more respect for you. They assume that those who have not achieved degrees and professional success have not done so because they can't, and thus feel superior. It's just the way people are.

I think the main issue here is racism more than job status issues - it is people wrongly assume she is up to no good simply because she is one of the 3% of the UK which is black and then they find out she is not what their prejudice assumed.

It is a big different where I live where most people are not white (my London borough has only a minority who are white like I am so I am abnormal and legions of the Indians around us (and some blacks) are doctors and the like because my immediate area is middle class.

The only pro-white as it were situation I can remember expressly benefiting from was when buying my current second hand car from a very big London second hand place and I bought it for cash, not loan finance. One staff member said to take the "white flower" (I assume that is not slang for a nasty thing but vice versa!) to the cash payment counter. I did feel as the only white person there other than 1 or 2 staff that I was being treated slightly differently but that might just as much has been because I was not buying on credit.

I rarely mention in real life that I am a lawyer. It tends to go badly - too many pompous usually male lawyers on trains when in trouble saying - do you know who I am - kind of thing - worst card you can try to play.

I think those of us brought up a religion (Catholicism here) were taught all our lives that the fundamental is Jesus said everyone is equal and that he washed the feet of the poor and our fundamental values are that - that it is how someone treats the "lowest of the low" which determines what person they are (and hopefully those without a religion but good values feel the same).

Agree, OP. But I think a lot is driven by fear - in case you are important enough to be taken seriously if you complain to their boss.

The issue is not that people assume that people in x job, or with y amount in the bank are clever and educated(that's a pretty fair assumption to make). The issue is that they assume people in z job or poor aren't.
Just because you're in a poorly paid job doesn't mean you're stupid or uneducated or any less worthy than a doctor or solicitor.

When I worked as a cleaner, a lot of my clients' attitude towards me changed over time as they had a chance to actually talk to me and realise I'm quite smart and educated. It's not just an assumption as one literally told me " You're so smart, you went to Uni! What are you doing working as a cleaner?".

Gosh, Xenia - you’re RC? I always read your posts

@AccidentallyOnPurpose I think some people just take a lot of shortcuts, too - they are economical with their manners and only turn on the pleasantries when they have to.

Well I think a lot of it is people thinking that a professional job = harder working and intelligent, so more interesting to talk to.

If you led with “that’s Tina, she’s does wrestling in her part time and that’s Leon, he plays tiddliwinks for Kent” then people would still think they’re interesting to talk to, regardless of if they were also lawyers or supermarket workers.

(And before anyone says that supermarket workers work as hard as lawyers, no they don’t. They may have intense hours of their job but they don’t take their job home and haven’t invested years of time and money in training to be able to do their job)

Your post raises many interesting issues, OP. The majority of people in today's society are judgmental and materialistic (partly due to social media promoting certain lifestyles), whereas I believe we're in the minority for placing a higher value in people who are kind. I've seen it time and time again in the work place; it's always the ruthless and unkind who climb the corporate ladder. Kindness is seen as weakness. With regards to the racial discrimination you've encountered; this makes me ashamed to be a white person and I'm so sorry you should still have to go through that in this day and age. Hopefully things will slowly change.