To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?

[BecomeStronger]

E.g Claudia's style looks far more modern than Tess'. I love the way young women will wear flats or even trainers and be comfortable rather than dressing for men.

[quote yetanothernamitynamechange]@AccidentallyOnPurpose I was being sarcastic? I personally think that Tess and Claudia look good and have their own style. While it doesnt personally affect me I hate the way defending one womans style seems to mean criticising anothers (and if people only posted on stuff that directly affects them this site would be tumbleweed). Its similar to the other thread where a husband told his wife he thought a celebrity looke beautiful and lot of posters started discussing why the celebrity wasnt beautiful/wore too much makeup rather than looking at the quite clear problem the OP had which was that her husband never complimented her. Its depressing[/quote]
So sorry.. went a bit ranty there and not even actually aimed at you.

Your question was the perfect opportunity to ramble on about what I've thought throughout all this thread and mostly aimed at the "if you don't like /do /wear x you're y" brigade.

be comfortable rather than dressing for men

Love the assumption that women who dress a certain way must be dressing for me. Police us some more, it really is so liberating .

Awful bitchy thread.

It’s normal for women in their teens and twenties to dress differently from 40+ year old women. That’s always been the case. And the style of most 40+ women will look dated compared to current trends since trends are made for and championed by the young. Those who were young women while hourglass dressing was in fashion will probably continue to lean towards those styles as they age. Right now fashion is quite androgynous so as expected younger women prefer that fit and anything else looks rather dated (I.e skinny jeans, skater dresses, ballet pumps). Doesn’t mean that wearing fitted clothes or heels is wrong in any way.

Why don’t you wear what you like and leave others to dress as they wish? Just a suggestion.

I think many people just go through phases with clothing and looks. In my 20s I wore a lot more make up and from the age of about 28 to now at nearly 31 I barely wear any make up and have a lot more of a natural look. Who is to say what I will do in the future it is personal choice and how comfortable confident I feel.

I like to see people dressed all differently, it makes things interesting. Imagine if we all the same thing!

Must tell my gay female friends this. They must really be straight

Well if you look at research you'll find that lesbians are a bit sexually attracted to men, but women are their main target of arousal.

I can't tell if you're joking @humannamuh. If not, could you point me to this research?

Go to Google Scholar and look up lesbian arousal patterns.

Why do you think I'm joking?

Even women who call themselves straight have shown arousal towards women

I've had a look and one thing I read said; Results supported a 5-category classification of identity (heterosexual, mostly heterosexual, bisexual, mostly gay/lesbian, gay/lesbian) in that two added identity labels (mostly heterosexual and mostly gay/lesbian) were frequently chosen by participants and/or showed unique patterns of attraction and partners, distinct from their adjacent identities (heterosexual and bisexual, and bisexual and gay/lesbian, respectively).

I would consider people who are attracted to men and women to be bisexual or pansexual (unless it was a one-off episode of attraction to someone of the gender you aren't usually attracted to which I don't think necessarily changes your sexuality). You've said "lesbians are a bit attracted to men" as though this encompasses all of them however?

"Go to google scholar and look up lebian arousal patterns" Thats a search term that could bring up some varied results

Find something where they measure sexual arousal to videos using the vaginal photopsylosomething or pupil dilation

But you can have physical symptoms of attraction without being attracted to individuals. E.g. I may easily have pupil dilation or a vaginal response to Matthew McConaughey because I have genetic predisposition to be attracted to him, but I actually consciously only think he's OK looking (just an example). Or another example of having a physical response to a sexual stimuli that doesn't correlate with mental attraction, is being attracted to abusive individuals.

So to suggest that lesbians on the whole have an attraction to men I don't think is correct. There's maybe an evolutionary basis to have sexual responses to good-looking men as a genetic way to preserve a bloodline, but I think there are different components of sexual and romantic attraction and a sexual response does not always suggest attraction (especially if for example lesbians say they are not attracted to men)

Anyway phew, just a thought but very off topic!

Go to google scholar and look up lebian arousal patterns. Thats a search term that could bring up some varied results confused

And yes @yetanothernamitynamechange, wouldn't risk it on a non-personal computer

@BecomeStronger

Why is it dressing for men? If I go to a party, dress up glam in a dress, I do it for ME!

Would you do it for a girly night out with women only friends?

Yes! Girls night is the best time to get dressed up and have fun. All my female friends do it.

Yes! Girls night is the best time to get dressed up and have fun. All my female friends do it.

If people get dressed up for themselves, why wait until a night out - they can get dressed up at anytime, and save the money otherwise spent on going out?

@Ifailed

Yes! Girls night is the best time to get dressed up and have fun. All my female friends do it.

If people get dressed up for themselves, why wait until a night out - they can get dressed up at anytime, and save the money otherwise spent on going out?

Because if you read my other post you would know I live out of crappy clothes these days because as a sahm I end up with crap all over my clothes daily, whether it’s food, shit, eczema cream from fighting my DCs who freaks out every time I apply it, muddy shoe stains from picking DCs up, glue or paint from crafts.... Just because I love dressing for myself, wearing nice clothes dose not mean I’m going to intentionally wear nice clothes just so they can be ruined.

@Ifailed

Yes! Girls night is the best time to get dressed up and have fun. All my female friends do it.

If people get dressed up for themselves, why wait until a night out - they can get dressed up at anytime, and save the money otherwise spent on going out?

Because the clothes I consider "dressed up" are not suitable for the job I do.

"If people get dressed up for themselves, why wait until a night out - they can get dressed up at anytime, and save the money otherwise spent on going out?"

Exactly. It's rubbish.

@Gwenhwyfar

"If people get dressed up for themselves, why wait until a night out - they can get dressed up at anytime, and save the money otherwise spent on going out?"

Exactly. It's rubbish.

1. Because it is part of "going out". The same way I get dressed up for Zoom drinks (I am a bit sad I know) even though no-one can see below my neck. It is a physical way of marking the transition between "it is the daytime, I am working" and "it is night I am having fun"
2. Because I like it when my (female) friends say oooh, I love that dress, and I say "Thanks I love your shoes etc etc". I am not saying it is purely for myself, but it is definately more for women than men
3. Because if I wore my going out dress to work every day it would become less sspecial. (Also according other people would bitch about me trying to look sexy in the office, although actually in my office they wouldnt because they are nice people).

I am not saying that women dont get dressed up to impress men sometimes. I am sure they do. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. But the absolute insistence of some posters that women must be doing it for men even if they dont know they are doing it i really wierd. Why the need to centre men in everything we do?

Also, sometimes my job can be quite hard to shut of from. So I have clothes that I wear at work (even though at the moment "work" is in my house) and when I get home (or close my laptop and walk across the hall) I change out of those work clothes into "home clothes" and my brain knows to shut of the work thoughts. On the rare occassion I go out I wear different clothes and I dont think about work or household stuff because I am Dressed Up.

There seems to be an increase in Mumsnetters criticising other’s style of dress of late on various threads. Even criticism elsewhere of those who do not wear big knickers.

What we wear, when we wear it and why we wear it is down to the individual and has no impact on others.

I don’t know any librarians that wear pencil skirts. Well, I don’t know many librarians. But the ones I do know tend to dress a bit hippy or a bit goth.

@yetanothernamitynamechange

Also, sometimes my job can be quite hard to shut of from. So I have clothes that I wear at work (even though at the moment "work" is in my house) and when I get home (or close my laptop and walk across the hall) I change out of those work clothes into "home clothes" and my brain knows to shut of the work thoughts. On the rare occassion I go out I wear different clothes and I dont think about work or household stuff because I am Dressed Up.

This. For various reasons, including "switching off" I have work clothes and home clothes. I also have every day clothes and going out clothes.

It's like asking why I'm wearing a bra at work/outside when I don't bother to put one on at home.

If people get dressed up for themselves, why wait until a night out - they can get dressed up at anytime, and save the money otherwise spent on going out?

Yeah, DON’T GO OUT AND STEAL ALL THE MEN.

Stay at home! Save your money!

Some people on here have really been brain washed into thinking men are at the forefront of women's decisions. Feel sorry for women who think like this.