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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would doing this make my dd a bit spoilt?

272 replies

Maisymooster · 05/12/2020 08:28

Last night dd was out and her phone must have fallen out of her pocket. She arrived back absolutely distraught. We managed to track it on the find my I phone thing and her dad collected it from the street! It was smashed in 1 corner but now doesn't work. I haven't yet inspected it but the extra annoying thing is we were going to surprise her for Christmas with an upgrade.
So my dilemma now, do we pay for a repair or upgrade the phone now earlier than planned?
Her current phone until it smashed last night is an i phone 11 and I wanted to sell it to recoup some costs back from upgrading. So it would need fixing if I did that. But I have no idea the cost of fixing it versus what I'd get for selling it.
But if we just upgrade immediately, not only does it completely ruin the surprise on Christmas day (and her sibling would get a surprise too when she'd already had hers) It would also seem like the wrong message to send to her as she was obviously careless. Like showing her don't worry sweetie, you've smashed your phone here's a better one to replace it with! Wwyd?

OP posts:
bendmeoverbackwards · 05/12/2020 12:15

@Missushbb my 6 was fine, maybe a little slow and battery life wasn’t great but it was ok. This is how Apple get you, by making you think older phones are rubbish when new ones come out.

Benjispruce2 · 05/12/2020 12:16

Personally an upgrade from an iPhone11 is a bit spoilt but you did ask.

Yeahnahmum · 05/12/2020 12:16

You’re wondering if doing this would make your daughter a bit spoilt when you’re already upgrading an iPhone 11 for her? Umm, that ship has well sailed.

😂 hhaha yes this

lovepickledlimes · 05/12/2020 12:20

@Benjispruce2 op did correct this and said it was the iphone x so the model before 11

ImInStealthMode · 05/12/2020 12:22

They would both like the newer Face ID ones eventually but all in good time.

@bendmeoverbackwards No rush for Face ID while mandatory masks are a thing, they are an absolute pain in backside!! I've got an XR but to be honest I miss the touch ID of my 7 Confused

Missushbb · 05/12/2020 12:27

[quote bendmeoverbackwards]**@Missushbb my 6 was fine, maybe a little slow and battery life wasn’t great but it was ok. This is how Apple get you, by making you think older phones are rubbish when new ones come out.[/quote]
I know, it's so true. I am sure the text got smaller too, that could just be my eyes!! 😂

WaxOnFeckOff · 05/12/2020 12:28

People aren't spoiled by things, they are spoiled by attitudes and behaviours.

I think it's wrong to seek to punish for a genuine accident and also, we all make mistakes and that's how people learn, if someone gets regularly punished for mistakes then all they will do is hide it or lie next time.

However, it is appropriate to learn that there are consequences to making mistake and accidents so asking for help to rectify that is a good lesson to learn.

At 16/17 someone isn't going to suddenly turn from being generally careful to not giving a shit just because their parents showed that they had her back after an accident. I'm sure OPs DD will keep her phone in a better pocket next time.

My elder DC has never even scratched a phone and he's now 20, younger DS is dyspraxic, has dropped/lost and generally damaged several, he's 19 and has learned to get a small, cheap phone which he can get properly in his pocket and isn't expensive to replace. I've never punished him for any accidents, even before we knew he was dyspraxic. He was upset enough and he got a replacement of whatever we could afford, usually something lying about the house or something 2nd hand.

ilhahih · 05/12/2020 12:32

I wouldn't pay 75 quid to get it fixed now when she's getting a new one at Christmas.
I think she's old enough to be given the new phone now and told that you had planned that as her Christmas present and that she will not receive another large present at Christmas as she is getting this now. On Christmas day you could get her a couple of small things. She won't end up with nothing as presumably other people will be buying her things for Christmas too.

Or get a very cheap non-smartphone for her to use for calls and texts so she realizes that she has to be more careful. Then surprise her with the phone at Christmas.

WaxOnFeckOff · 05/12/2020 12:44

I think she's probably old enough to explain that you were planning to upgrade at christmas and sell the old phone. The difference in selling it in good condition to selling it as non working could be as much as £200 so probably worth repairing. How you want to handle that cost is down to what you think is appropriate. You could say that it's either contributing to the repair or making up the shortfall in selling price and getting the new phone now.

bwfcchick88 · 05/12/2020 12:46

If you're intending on getting her a new one for Christmas, I wouldn't bother getting the 11 fixed. Just wait until Christmas, give her the new phone and then sell the 11. Check out Music Magpie as they accept broken phones - my friend just sold 2 smashed iPhones to them & got a decent price.

Legseleven1990 · 05/12/2020 12:52

@user1493494961

I would make her wait until Christmas, I can't get past the fact she was 'distraught'.
I broke my phone in May and was distraught... couldn't afford to get it fixed and it had all my pictures of my newborn in hospital who was born the week before so hasnt been backed up yet. Plus we're in and out of a series of lockdowns, so arguably having a phone is a bigger deal than normal for keeping in contact with people?
Srslydontgiveacrap · 05/12/2020 12:56

@Benjispruce2

Personally an upgrade from an iPhone11 is a bit spoilt but you did ask.
RTFT

Seriously, what a pointless comment you have just made. Engage brain won't you?

Boltonb · 05/12/2020 13:07

I think if you’re upgrading an iPhone 11 for your DD, the spoilt or not ship may well have sailed.

Absolutely nothing wrong with buying expensive things if you can afford it, but I wouldn’t worry about whether a child with an iPhone 11 is spoilt - the answer is clear.

If it makes you feel better, fix her phone now, and give her the new upgraded one for Christmas as you planned

WaxOnFeckOff · 05/12/2020 13:11

I wouldn’t worry about whether a child with an iPhone 11 is spoilt - the answer is clear.

Is it? It's possible to have an expensive phone and be kind, hard working, appreciative, supportive etc.

It's possible to have a cheap phone and be nasty, bullying, cheeky, lazy and entitled.

Objects don't equate with spoiling. Attitude and behaviour is the best indicator.

Mustbe3ormorecharacters · 05/12/2020 13:26

@ImInStealthMode

They would both like the newer Face ID ones eventually but all in good time.

@bendmeoverbackwards No rush for Face ID while mandatory masks are a thing, they are an absolute pain in backside!! I've got an XR but to be honest I miss the touch ID of my 7 Confused

You can set up an alternate look for Face ID, wear your mask covering only a quarter of your face (so half on half off and set up the alternative look. I did this and it recognises me wearing the mask fully on or off.
Daisy12Maisie · 05/12/2020 13:27

I would just give her the new phone and explain it's her christmas present. Swap the sim etc then mend the old one and sell it.
Unless she is always demanding new things then I dont see the issue. Let her know that she wont be getting anything else for Christmas. Wrap up some chocolate etc for her for Christmas but nothing else.

bendmeoverbackwards · 05/12/2020 13:29

I’ve just got an 11 and I don’t find the Face ID a hassle. You’re only wearing them indoors anyway and not at home, if I’m wearing a mask I just use the passcode.

Lovemusic33 · 05/12/2020 13:33

I would get it fixed but not upgrade it, once fixed she doesn’t really need a new phone?
My dd has the old iPhone 6 (she’s almost 17), she’s had it a few years and will be getting a upgrade for her birthday because it no longer holds charge.

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 05/12/2020 13:34

@Lovemusic33

I would get it fixed but not upgrade it, once fixed she doesn’t really need a new phone? My dd has the old iPhone 6 (she’s almost 17), she’s had it a few years and will be getting a upgrade for her birthday because it no longer holds charge.
She was getting a new phone for Christmas regardless, even if she hadn’t broken this one.
PinkiOcelot · 05/12/2020 13:46

@littlepeas my dd pays 79p a month for more storage on the cloud with Google (i think). Definitely 79p though.

Original poster
Maisymooster · 05/12/2020 13:51

Arghh it's water damaged so still hasn't been fixed! He's going to keep trying at the repair shop. God I'm pissed off now!

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 05/12/2020 13:52

I think I'd hint, so she doesn't get it repaired or replace it herself.

BertieBotts · 05/12/2020 13:52

Oops sorry should have refreshed - there were only 20 posts when I loaded this.

SirVixofVixHall · 05/12/2020 13:54

My dds ( nearly 16 and 13) and I all have iphone 7 . My one and also dd1s have had broken screens for over a year and work fine, we havent had them fixed due to Covid.
I agree with the pp who said put it in a jar with rice, or silica gel sachets, for a few days to sort out the moisture inside.

Pipandmum · 05/12/2020 13:54

@Balaur a new screen for £25?? Where? It's £120 where I live.