Would doing this make my dd a bit spoilt?

[Maisymooster]

Last night dd was out and her phone must have fallen out of her pocket. She arrived back absolutely distraught. We managed to track it on the find my I phone thing and her dad collected it from the street! It was smashed in 1 corner but now doesn't work. I haven't yet inspected it but the extra annoying thing is we were going to surprise her for Christmas with an upgrade.
So my dilemma now, do we pay for a repair or upgrade the phone now earlier than planned?
Her current phone until it smashed last night is an i phone 11 and I wanted to sell it to recoup some costs back from upgrading. So it would need fixing if I did that. But I have no idea the cost of fixing it versus what I'd get for selling it.
But if we just upgrade immediately, not only does it completely ruin the surprise on Christmas day (and her sibling would get a surprise too when she'd already had hers) It would also seem like the wrong message to send to her as she was obviously careless. Like showing her don't worry sweetie, you've smashed your phone here's a better one to replace it with! Wwyd?

BrumBoo

Fair enough if the OPs daughter seems to be being irresponsible in other things.
But people didn’t know that and they were still saying kids shouldn’t have the latest iPhone, she’s spoiled etc. On here, it does seem unless you only spend £20 on your kids for Xmas and make them work from age 8, then you obviously have a brat.

Why is she not paying to get it fixed if it is her phone? She dropped and lost it and presumably she's old enough to have some savings. Looking after her exoensi r phobe should be her responsibility. How do you stand recouping the cost of a new phone by selling it if it is her phone?

There’s nothing wrong with upgrading from an 11 and a most 16 year olds would be embarrassed with an iPhone 6. Mumsnet does me me laugh.

Also love how people say ‘look OP isn’t responding.’ She has now, but seriously, it had only been a couple of hours. 🤣

If its an XR that slightly changes matters .

If its absolutely not working though, then it sounds like she's going to be without a phone regardless. Personally, I think its just 3 weeks, its a lesson in being more careful. She's overall not shown very responsible behaviour recently, maybe this is a good opportunity to learn that sometimes mum and dad can't instantly 'fix' something.

Get it fixed. You can sell the old one, she gets a surprise ( more so if you fixed the old one)

She's 16, give the upgrade and explain it's Christmas early because of the damage

Phones get smashed sometimes. I smashed mine a couple of months back (first time ever!) It was in my bag, in a flip case. It fell out getting out of the car, cover flew open and it smashed on the floor. The screen was decimated! I got it repaired and used an old one while I was waiting.

I think your plan sounds best, as long as its only the screen. If it turns out to be more damaged/more expensive then reassess. At least then you can sell it on.

I'd give her the new christmas present now. Just tell her it was a surprise but now she'll just have little bits on christmas day. at her age, she doesn't need a magic surprise like a little kid.

Then she has a phone straight away (I consider a phone a safety item).

Then get the other one repaired and sell it.

She knows she fucked up, she doesn't need any more kicking.

Some people on here must have been in charge of victorian workhouses in their past lives.

@isadorapolly

There’s nothing wrong with upgrading from an 11 and a most 16 year olds would be embarrassed with an iPhone 6. Mumsnet does me me laugh.

*@isadorapolly* embarrassed? My nearly 18 year old has a 7 so similar to a 6, and my 19 year old has an 8. They would both like the newer Face ID ones eventually but all in good time.

I’ve only just upgraded mine from a 6 to an 11 myself! You don’t always have the have the latest versions of everything.

If it’s got wet, stick it in a bowl of rice overnight. Worked for a phone we had.

I think your plan sounds like a good one OP.

No sense in ruining her Christmas because she made a mistake!

I wonder of all the people saying she was spoiled change their minds now we know she s 16 not 11? (I'm on the side of spoiled is an attitude)

@PineappleTart

She's 16, give the upgrade and explain it's Christmas early because of the damage

This x 💯

At 16 I’d upgrade it now and tell her it’s an early Christmas present. I’ve just got my upgrade now as an early Christmas present because my old iPhone was absolutely screwed, it kept typing whatever it wanted and opening random apps so I just couldn’t use it.

iPhone screen repair is expensive. You’d probably be better off recycling it as a broken phone tbh.

Wow, the vitriol on this thread because you dared to buy your child an iPhone 11 out of your own money is what’s really appalling.

And the fact she was distraught showed that she appreciated and valued that phone. I’d have been worried if she was blasé about it.

My son had the iPhone 11 last Christmas at the age of 14, though I did purchase insurance for it too. It’s what he wanted and he’s generally a good kid and an A /A* grade student. Luckily we can afford that sort of gift and DS was beyond ecstatic on Christmas morning.

A gift doesn’t make a child ‘spoilt’. Most of the spoiled children I come into contact with are those who are allowed to do and say what they want at home. The ones allowed to come in whatever time they please; swear in front of their parents; refuse to eat what’s been made for them.

My son is polite, comes home when I tell him too, eats what I give him and never swears in front of me. If I ask him to vacuum he’ll vacuum. If I ask him to fill the dishwasher he’ll do that. No arguments, because he’s a good and respectful kid and not ‘spoiled’ by an object.

People here saying ‘I’d love an iPhone 11 but don’t have the money’ well, I’m sorry you don’t, but that’s not really my problem and doesn’t give you the right to spitefully call a child spoilt because they are more fortunate.

If it was me, I'd say you couldn't afford a new one until the new year, and give her a cheap £10 handset for basic use. It's only 20 days away and it'll teach her a valuable lesson to take better care of very expensive things.

The XR is water resistant so it should be water damaged. I'd get a quote from Apple to fix it.

*shouldn't

Just remember that if you get the screen repaired by a third party (ie not Apple) it won’t have any trade in value from Apple.

@DBML did you get Apple care insurance or from elsewhere?

I was going to say as soon as you get it repaired by anyone other than Apple it's value will drop for resale.

Claim on your insurance. I've claimed for 2 lost phones over the past two years (one stolen, one left up a mountain) and my insurance only went up by £50 a year this year.

I would send the 11 to get fixed and say she needs to wait. If you have something basic for text/email/phone then that would be a good stand in item. Just like adults have to when waiting for insurance to come through or repairs on expensive items. Is it not insured though? An iPhone 11 is an expensive bit of kit and even if you are well off seems off to not have gadget insurance. So if not, in future get gadget insurance. I don't think it's spoiling someone to replace something that accidentally got broken though. It's what we all have to do as adults.

Is it normal for parents to take back gifts when they give a newer version? If I was your daughter I would expect to keep my old phone and new one.

@bendmeoverbackwards

No we have ‘insurancetogo’ insurance.

If he breaks it, the phone will be fixed but devalued, but there is cover of he loses it or it’s stolen.

Apple Care, wasn’t worth it as it only covers breakages. No loss or theft, which is what I was most concerned about.

It's Christmas 3 weeks away! Of course she can wait! My 13 year old has waited a year since she broke her phone.