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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a shit present?

256 replies

HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 14:50

I am struggling what to get my DM for Christmas. So far she has some perfume and a box of sweets from the grand kids. I was thinking a nice cashmere scarf and gloves? Is it a bit shit? Shes 65(ish [hmmm] ) if that makes a difference?

OP posts:
MarchionessofActon · 04/12/2020 14:53

So cashmere is ‘a bit shit’ is it?Hmm

OP is this a stealth boast about having money for cashmere Confused

carrierbags · 04/12/2020 14:54

I'm struggling with mine and have decided to get her a flower subscription. What you've already got her sounds lovely though.

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 14:54

@MarchionessofActon

So cashmere is ‘a bit shit’ is it?Hmm

OP is this a stealth boast about having money for cashmere Confused

No, Not at all, Blush I meant more is a scarf and gloves shit for a present?
OP posts:
MarchionessofActon · 04/12/2020 14:56

I just thought it was a bit odd to ask if cashmere was a shit gift sorry!

No it’s a lovely present.

grassisjeweled · 04/12/2020 14:56

Totally fine.

Rosebel · 04/12/2020 14:57

That sounds lovely. Don't know what I'm going to get my mum, why are they so hard to buy for?

NoddyWithAVoddy · 04/12/2020 14:58

I think the op was referring to the actual present, rather than the material it's made of.
Is your mum a scarf person op? She may be happy with it if so.
If not, maybe some nice earrings or something?

KarmaStar · 04/12/2020 15:01

Before you buy cashmere,read the PETA web page on how the hair is gathered,you might change your mind op and opt for something ethical.
Otherwise,gifts sound thoughtful.

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:03

@Rosebel

That sounds lovely. Don't know what I'm going to get my mum, why are they so hard to buy for?
Mines a nightmare, She is so picky. She never buys anything for her self because its never right. She went shopping for a coat the other day, never got one because the buttons were the wrong size, the collar doesn't look right, its too long, its too short, she didn't like the pockets!!!!

Maybe I'll stick with the perfume, hopefully it won't be wrong (She did ask for this specific one, so I have a bit of a head start)

OP posts:
HappygoLucie · 04/12/2020 15:16

I've got my mum a similar collection of gifts- perfume, some books, chocolates, scarf and gloves and a teapot shaped like a christmas tree (She's a classy bird)

londongirl12 · 04/12/2020 15:25

@carrierbags

I'm struggling with mine and have decided to get her a flower subscription. What you've already got her sounds lovely though.
Yes a flower subscription is a great idea! Bloom and Wild do one where you get flowers every month
wildraisins · 04/12/2020 15:31

You could ask other people who know her what they think? It's hard for people on an online forum to tell you what is/ isn't a good gift.

Personally I'd be happy to receive a scarf and gloves. But if I already had 3 sets, or didn't like a particular colour, or just didn't wear those things, then it would be rubbish! So it obviously depends on the person you're buying for!

Anjo2011 · 04/12/2020 15:32

My parents are hard to buy for too, I bought a little basket and am going to make them a hamper, stuff I know they will use and then a little something each. They always say they don’t want anything but that makes it even more difficult. I’d be happy with your proposed gifts

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:34

@wildraisins

You could ask other people who know her what they think? It's hard for people on an online forum to tell you what is/ isn't a good gift.

Personally I'd be happy to receive a scarf and gloves. But if I already had 3 sets, or didn't like a particular colour, or just didn't wear those things, then it would be rubbish! So it obviously depends on the person you're buying for!

She does wear scarf and gloves, but they are just generic ones from a supermarket (I think) Its not the fact that she does or doesn't wear them, I just don't know if it would be a bit naff as a present. She wears socks and pants too, but wouldn't get them for a gift.
OP posts:
BuggerBognor · 04/12/2020 15:37

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

baubling · 04/12/2020 15:40

Whether it's cashmere or sackcloth it is still a scarf. And a scarf is a shit present, sorry. It's what you resort to when you can't think of anything else.

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:42

@baubling

Whether it's cashmere or sackcloth it is still a scarf. And a scarf is a shit present, sorry. It's what you resort to when you can't think of anything else.
Yeah, That's what I was afraid of.

Back to the drawing board then......

Any ideas for a fussy, picky mum who "doesn't need anything"????

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 04/12/2020 15:43

I gave someone a scarf and a hat (not cashmere) last year. The recipient received more than one set, and that was a bit disappointing.
I put more thought into their birthday present and they were thrilled with it.

HawthornLantern · 04/12/2020 15:44

I don't think age is relevant. I've was given cashmere scarves in my 30s and loved them. But they were colours I liked. I love the soft luxury of cashmere. But...if your Mum doesn't like wearing scarves (and I hate silly flimsy silk things that you are supposed to wear all day) then it would not be a great idea.

JonHammIsMyJamm · 04/12/2020 15:44

Mine is also difficult to buy for. Lives alone, doesn’t have any hobbies, doesn’t go out, is a bit of a grumpy shut in (entirely of her own making, apparently she prefers it that way). Doesn’t appreciate ‘luxury’ presents really. She’s grateful and what not but I mean they just sit unopened or unused, she’s just not their target market. FFS

Cottagepieandpeas · 04/12/2020 15:44

I’d love a scarf. Present buying is very subjective.

If you’re concerned about the ethics of cashmere, this company use recycled cashmere items to make their products;

www.turtle-doves.co.uk/

Greenteandchives · 04/12/2020 15:45

I’m a similar age and last year I had a calendar which featured several different photos of my grandchildren on each month. I loved turning the page on the first of the month to see what I was getting next.
Easy to do on line.
Also loved a jigsaw made from a photo of a place we went to on holiday.
Posh gin? With fancy mixers.
I’d hate a scarf and gloves.

pictish · 04/12/2020 15:46

I wouldn’t thank you for a scarf...even a cashmere one. It’s extremely hard to nail someone else’s specific taste.

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:46

@JonHammIsMyJamm

Mine is also difficult to buy for. Lives alone, doesn’t have any hobbies, doesn’t go out, is a bit of a grumpy shut in (entirely of her own making, apparently she prefers it that way). Doesn’t appreciate ‘luxury’ presents really. She’s grateful and what not but I mean they just sit unopened or unused, she’s just not their target market. FFS
What do you get her?

I've just thought, mine likes gardening, might go for a gardening hamper? Hmm

OP posts:
username200 · 04/12/2020 15:46

I bought my mum some Ugg slippers this year. She's not difficult to buy for usually I'll buy her perfume, books, something ornamental or a keepsake.