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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a shit present?

256 replies

HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 14:50

I am struggling what to get my DM for Christmas. So far she has some perfume and a box of sweets from the grand kids. I was thinking a nice cashmere scarf and gloves? Is it a bit shit? Shes 65(ish [hmmm] ) if that makes a difference?

OP posts:
MeringueCloud · 04/12/2020 15:46

Could you get her other products with the same scent? Like body lotion etc.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 04/12/2020 15:47

I struggle like hell to buy for my mum. Doesn’t wear make up or perfume. Rarely wears jewellery. No hobbies. Has a kindle so buys books on her own. Diabetic so no sweets / chocs. Fussy eater so hampers are useless.

And her birthday is Xmas eve

LooneyLovefood · 04/12/2020 15:50

I think a scarf can be a really lovely present OP, especially if someone's spent time thinking about what style/fabric/colour the recipient would like - just like with any other presents! The only type of gift I wouldn't give would be generic gift sets of random toiletries that are usually 3 for 2 in the likes of Boots as they just scream "I didn't know what to get you so got this on offer!"

As it happens, I wrapped a scarf for a relative's Christmas present today - I know she'll love it and think it's a great present.

JonHammIsMyJamm · 04/12/2020 15:51

@HiyaMeAgain, last year I bought her a robot hoover.

This year? God knows. Good slippers (she always gets those), perfume (tbh, it’s a desperate filler job but it is one I know she likes) and as for what else? I really don’t know. Mine is a bit older than yours but bloody hell, it isn’t easy!

JonHammIsMyJamm · 04/12/2020 15:51

@JoeCalFuckingZaghe

I struggle like hell to buy for my mum. Doesn’t wear make up or perfume. Rarely wears jewellery. No hobbies. Has a kindle so buys books on her own. Diabetic so no sweets / chocs. Fussy eater so hampers are useless.

And her birthday is Xmas eve

Oh Joe! I think yours might be worse than mine Grin
Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:52

@MeringueCloud

Could you get her other products with the same scent? Like body lotion etc.
Nope....She has forbidden any one to get her any lotions and potions as she has "enough to do a car boot"
OP posts:
ChessieFL · 04/12/2020 15:52

What about a magazine subscription? National Trust membership? Theatre or concert tickets (or vouchers if you can’t find a particular show she would like). Pay for a weekend away somewhere? Restaurant or afternoon tea vouchers?

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:54

@JoeCalFuckingZaghe

I struggle like hell to buy for my mum. Doesn’t wear make up or perfume. Rarely wears jewellery. No hobbies. Has a kindle so buys books on her own. Diabetic so no sweets / chocs. Fussy eater so hampers are useless.

And her birthday is Xmas eve

Oh, Bloody hell! What do you get her?

She needs to move her birthday to the summer...some people are so selfish Grin

OP posts:
katscamel · 04/12/2020 15:55

I actually like buying for my mum as we have quite similar tastes. This year I've found an amusing Star Trek picture I've had a friend print on a tile, one of those ancestry kits ( 1 for dad as well) and some smaller bits and pieces.
In the past it's been jewellery, Clarins beauty voucher, a gorgeous coat (picked up in a market in Slovenia) and other random bits.

Original poster
HiyaMeAgain · 04/12/2020 15:57

@ChessieFL

What about a magazine subscription? National Trust membership? Theatre or concert tickets (or vouchers if you can’t find a particular show she would like). Pay for a weekend away somewhere? Restaurant or afternoon tea vouchers?
That's a thought, I was going to do a book subscription for her, but, I've been with her when she picks her books, and it takes hours!! So, I decided against it as I'll probably pick the wrong genre!
OP posts:
LatinforTelly · 04/12/2020 15:57

If your mum is quite glamorous, what about high end make up? Is there a brand she likes? My mum has asked for Nars eye shadow primer and I could see that might be useful (would be useful for me tbh!!) It's also the sort of thing I wouldn't spend the money on for myself and nor, possibly, would she. I am also buying an item of inexpensive but pretty jewellery and a book she might like. My mum is v difficult and picky so I tend to get a her a few things in case one of them is wrong. Grin

feelingverylazytoday · 04/12/2020 15:59

A scarf isn't a shit present if it's what the person wants. If your Mum likes scarves then it's a good present. My Mum would have loved it.

WinterIsGone · 04/12/2020 16:00

A calendar for next year personalised with photos of the children and pets.

DappledThings · 04/12/2020 16:01

Any ideas for a fussy, picky mum who "doesn't need anything"????

Nothing? I'm impossible to buy for so I ask to receive nothing. And we stopped doing anything other than charity gifts for adults years ago. If she's fussy and says she doesn't need anything maybe she doesn't want anything.

I think a scarf is a bit of a shit present but I'm shit at coming up with anything other than shit presents so I'm immensely relieved about being absolved of the responsibility.

hellsbells99 · 04/12/2020 16:02

I have bought my a couple of nice cardigans, some socks and pyjamas from M&S so far. She likes practical gifts!

CoronaIsWatching · 04/12/2020 16:02

Just get her a scented candle

JMG1234 · 04/12/2020 16:02

Personally I'd love a cashmere scarf for Christmas. Not least because I've lost the one my husband bought me from Uniqlo last Christmas. Which was to replace the cashmere scarf I'd lost before that (though that one was a corporate gift at least). There's a theme here... In my defence, I did wear it all the time and tried to call everywhere I'd been to find it.

I feel really bad for my carelessness so I'm banning a replacement for this Christmas so I can wear my scratchy scarf as penance for a while.

In short, I'd love a cashmere scarf for Christmas (I'm mid 40s), it can't help but fit and is a real treat that I'd struggle to justify buying for myself.

3rdNamechange · 04/12/2020 16:03

Does she like wine ? A case of mixed red / white whatever she likes ?
Books ?

WinterIsGone · 04/12/2020 16:05

Nothing? I'm impossible to buy for so I ask to receive nothing.
I agree with this. I'm in my mid-50s, and I don't want anything. I'm now trying to get rid of stuff Grin

JMG1234 · 04/12/2020 16:06

I'd also second the magazine subscription. I think you can get the BBC gardening magazine subscription with Tesco clubcard vouchers. My mother in law seemed pleased with hers. Or Crabtree and Evelyn gardeners hand cream (yes it's a thing). Good luck!

LaceyBetty · 04/12/2020 16:06

I'm hoping for something along those lines from my husband!

Gobbledygook20 · 04/12/2020 16:07

High end bath/shower products. Elemis. That sort of ilk maybe.

Smudgeis13 · 04/12/2020 16:08

I’ve got everything I need and everything I want. The best present for me would be time spent with my family. So an IOU for an outing/meal post-pandemic.

supercatlady · 04/12/2020 16:08

She might hate the idea, but I’ve had some lovely cashmere gloves from www.turtle-doves.co.uk
I love the idea it’s repurposed

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 04/12/2020 16:09

@HiyaMeAgain honestly she’s a nightmare but she knows it so she’s always super grateful for anything.

Her birthday is usually flowers but everyone does that now so it’s like a bloody florist come Xmas.

Usually pjs, slippers, puzzle books, hand creams... I hate buying for her as I’d love to give her something she really loved. I did get her a family cream tea experience which she loved but obviously with COVID things like that are out the window 😩😩