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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have judged? Awh feckit. Yes I judged, I VERY judged.

317 replies

Farkinell · 03/12/2020 21:52

Was in slow moving traffic today.

Big fuck off black BMW (suv/mpv/hpv??? who the eff knows) was coming towards me on other side of road.

Saw what I thought was a TV monitor in front passenger seat angled forwards.

Strange, I thought. Surely a passenger would be holding it and it would be facing backwards??

But LO! It was angled towards the passenger. Confused

A teeny baby in the carry part of travel system, backwards facing.

A tablet set up, plating a cartoon for a young baby to watch in the car.

Just

Goodness

Gracious.

Let's get them Oblong Addicted early, yeah?

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 03/12/2020 21:55

If it stops baby screaming on a necessary journey then needs must... Probably baby sensory or desperation Night Garden.

Ponoka7 · 03/12/2020 21:58

So is it better for development if the baby cries and stares at the back of the seat?

Nicknacky · 03/12/2020 22:00

Would you have judged less it it hadn’t been a “big fuck off bmw” or similar?

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 03/12/2020 22:00

Life is too short to judge such things surely? You have no idea about the parent’s circumstances or the baby’s temperament.

floppybit · 03/12/2020 22:03

@Farkinell I must admit I find it sad when babies that tiny have a screen shoved in front of their face, so I'm with you on this one. I guess I'm judgy too

BertieBotts · 03/12/2020 22:03

Well most people don't put their babies in the front unless they really hate the car. And most people don't use tablets for their babies in the car unless they REALLY REALLY hate the car.

I think I would have assumed desperation rather than everyday event. If it was their routine way to travel, surely they'd have one if those tablet holders on the back seat headrest.

Some babies scream like they're going to explode in the car.

ShivD · 03/12/2020 22:06

Was the baby in a car seat? If not, I would have judged about that but the other stuff not so much.

theonlywayisup33 · 03/12/2020 22:06

Flip, babies really should not be in the front seat for their safety. Better if they cry and are safer at the back

Omeara · 03/12/2020 22:07

I wouldn’t judge. Guess you’ve never had a child that hates the car?

TriflePudding · 03/12/2020 22:12

It can’t be good can it , shoving TVs in front of babies, they need interaction and chat.

Squiffany · 03/12/2020 22:14

@TriflePudding

It can’t be good can it , shoving TVs in front of babies, they need interaction and chat.
Bit difficult when you’re driving
Megan2018 · 03/12/2020 22:14

I would have judged too. Leicester (where I work but don’t live) is full of such dickhead behaviour.
I judge freely.

TreaterAnita · 03/12/2020 22:15

Some babies really don’t tolerate car travel. Some of those babies have neurological injuries and need to attend medical appointments which require them to be transported in a car. People who drive big ‘fuck off’ BMWs are just as likely to have damaged babies as anyone else. I don’t know if that was the situation here, but neither do you. So why don’t you take your judgement and swap it for some open mindedness and compassion?

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 03/12/2020 22:15

I wish I’d thought of that with DC3 who screamed so much in the car that we just stopped going places.
Might have helped us make it to the supermarket or something.

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 03/12/2020 22:15

@TriflePudding

It can’t be good can it , shoving TVs in front of babies, they need interaction and chat.
What, when you’re driving?
Meepmeeep · 03/12/2020 22:16

Judgey or jealous of the big fuck off BMW?

LunchBoxPolice · 03/12/2020 22:16

I have a baby that screams bloody murder every time she’s in the car. If a screen helped her then I’d do it.

IseeIsee · 03/12/2020 22:17

My neighbour used to do this. When she was home she would talk all about working mum's and their poor neglected children. She loved to judge. Every parent does something that another parent would judge them for, but you seem happy enough so judge away.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 03/12/2020 22:17

YABU. My children have never had an issue in the car. Lucky me.
On the other hand, an ex of mine had a baby who absolutely HATED the car. He was separated from her mum, and had her every week. Every time she was in the car seat, she would howl like nothing I've ever heard. It was like she was in pain. He tried everything. New £400 car seats, passenger at all times when travelling with her. You name it, he did it. She still cried. He tried a tablet with some baby stuff on (nursery rhymes, tellytubbies etc) and she would allow herself to be distracted for a short while from it. Not for long. But long enough that it meant he could focus on driving instead of the agony of hearing your tiny baby scream like they are being tortured.
Whatever fucking works in these cases... stop bloody judging.

dairyswim · 03/12/2020 22:19

Very judgey. You don't know the circumstances.

theonlywayisup33 · 03/12/2020 22:19

@TreaterAnita

Some babies really don’t tolerate car travel. Some of those babies have neurological injuries and need to attend medical appointments which require them to be transported in a car. People who drive big ‘fuck off’ BMWs are just as likely to have damaged babies as anyone else. I don’t know if that was the situation here, but neither do you. So why don’t you take your judgement and swap it for some open mindedness and compassion?
I had a baby like this who screamed for the best part of an hour in and out of Central London for medical appointments. Each way. I still felt it was safer for her to be in the back, facing rearwards. It was tough. I would have judged too OP.
TORDEVAN · 03/12/2020 22:19

Desperate times can call for desperate measures! I've considered it. I had it prepped ready for when I had to take my 12 month old to hospital at midday an hour away after having fasted ready for a general just in case. I would much rather she have the tablet than I am distracted driving.

EmmaJR1 · 03/12/2020 22:20

When my daughter was tiny every car ride was horrific - she would scream until she vomited, I'd be crying, my toddler ds would be crying. I'd have to pull over every 15 mins to half an hour for a 6 week period.

I wish I'd thought of the screen miracle..

Camomila · 03/12/2020 22:21

Flip, babies really should not be in the front seat for their safety. Better if they cry and are safer at the back

Not if they are the type of baby that randomly forgets how to breathe while screaming and you have to blow in their face (DS1, luckily DH drives and I sat in the back) or screams and throws up.

I too would assume desperation/baby that screams in the car making it hard to concentrate.

FoxyTheFox · 03/12/2020 22:22

It can be really difficult to concentrate properly on driving with a screaming baby so if it helps distract the baby long enough to complete the journey safely then where's the harm? I used to YouTube nursery rhymes for eldest DC when desperate, he wasn't watching the video but he was listening to the music.