Page 4 | To have judged? Awh feckit. Yes I judged, I VERY judged.

Farkinell · 2020-12-03T21:52:04+00:00

Was in slow moving traffic today. Big fuck off black BMW (suv/mpv/hpv??? who the eff knows) was coming towards me on other side of road. Saw what I thought was a TV monitor in front passenger seat angled forwards. Strange, I thought. Surely a passenger would be holding it and it would be facing backwards?? But LO! It *was* angled towards the passenger. [confused] A teeny baby in the carry part of travel system, backwards facing. A tablet set up, plating a cartoon for a young baby to watch in the car. Just Goodness Gracious. Let's get them Oblong Addicted early, yeah?

TJ17 · 03/12/2020 23:15

Im actually just grateful to this thread for the idea 👍🏻

My 3 month old has a medical condition that means crying excessively can be fatal due to lack of oxygen. She also hates the car. Hospital (which we have had to have many trips to) is an hour away.

Picture that.

Might give the iPad idea a go.

JaniceBattersby · 03/12/2020 23:17

Living rurally, with my parents three hours away by road, with three out of my four babies absolutely hating their car seat almost did for me. I’m still very anxious going in the car and the eldest is nearly a teenager now.

I look back on their baby days and they were some of the worst of my life because I couldn’t go anywhere and I felt trapped. They would scream themselves to vomiting stage as soon as they were placed in their car seats, and no, they never stopped. The eldest once cried for nearly five hours in the car on my way to my grandmother’s funeral, even though we stopped every 20 minutes to get him out an give us all a break.

If a screen would have stopped them crying (it didn’t) then damn right they could have had one.

Everybodyfednobodydead · 03/12/2020 23:17

I was lucky that mine loved the car. However I'm one of those drivers who turns the music down when I'm trying to look for an address. A baby screaming would cause most people stress and lead to distraction. They could've aready been driving for hours at the point you saw them. I'd much rather let them watch a tablet than end up causing an accident. I mean I imagine death or serious injury would cause more development problems than an hour looking at a screen

jessstan1 · 03/12/2020 23:20

@Ponoka7

So is it better for development if the baby cries and stares at the back of the seat?

Exactly. If it amuses them on a journey, why not? I don't see anything about which to be judgemental at all.

pessimistiquerealistique · 03/12/2020 23:20

It's very disruptive for the driver to hear their baby scream. You need to concentrate on the road. If the baby can spend 30 min quietly watching or listening to the tablet then good.

BestZebbie · 03/12/2020 23:20

Slightly worried here about the carseat on the front seat, but I presume they'd have turned the airbags off and secured it thoroughly, cannot find a fuck to give about the tablet...

Mamanyt · 03/12/2020 23:23

Having driven for 9 hours in a (much smaller) car with a very young child who screamed for a good 7 out of the 9 hours, I can tell you that, had there been such things back then, and if it had kept them quiet and occupied so that I could pay attention to the road where it should be while driving, I'd have plugged that child in without a second thought.

Yes, "interaction and chat" are the ideal, but not running someone off the road while interacting and chatting with a screaming infant is a close second, is it not? I'm sure if the car had been swerving as the mother tried to quiet her baby you'd have been far more (and far more justifiably) judge-y.

Crustmasiscoming · 03/12/2020 23:25

Seriously? Who cares?

trunumber · 03/12/2020 23:34

What a weird thing to judge. What are you imagining the negative consequences of watching cartoons in the car are?

Your post is honestly baffling to me.

CandyLeBonBon · 03/12/2020 23:39

ODFOD.

HTH.

ClaireP20 · 03/12/2020 23:44

@Ponoka7

So is it better for development if the baby cries and stares at the back of the seat?

Exactly.....! If the bright colours stop baby crying on a car journey then surely that's much better than leaving a little baby to cry bless them.

ClaireP20 · 03/12/2020 23:50

@Krazynights34

I have a disabled DD. She sits on my lap in taxis. And yes I get stares but you know.. when you don’t know, you can judge all you want. I doubt they give a flying fuck what you think, even if they were just doing it for fun

Exactly. I took my 7 year old out on the buggy board today (attached to the baby's pushchair) and got loads of looks...people shouldn't judge others, because they never know the facts..

Although mine was just because I have a mile journey home from school, no car, pissing down with rain and it got us home quicker....who cares what other people do? X

liverbird10 · 03/12/2020 23:51

Yawn. Mine your own business.

FitterHappierMoreProductive · 03/12/2020 23:52

I’d judge too OP but then I’ve read the studies in the impact of TV on the developing brain...

And I’ve had a car screamer. One of mine was a high needs baby, she’s a pretty high needs school age child still now 🙈 but she would scream without cease for hours - unless you sang to her. So we did, endlessly on loop, often the same song over and over again. It totally is possible to interact without using a screen in the car.

womaninatightspot · 04/12/2020 00:01

I had a baby who wailed in the car it was awful. Distracting for the driver, also he'd cry until he vomited so had to stop and clean him up all the time. I should of thought of that!

MostDisputesDieAndNoOneShoots · 04/12/2020 00:04

I mean, if it stops them screaming. I do remember when my Dd1 went through a bad car screaming phase at about 8 months I would prop the iPad up with Peppa on. Stopped her from screaming and me from crashing the car. Was in a crap Hyundai however.

San141 · 04/12/2020 00:04

Now we know where p n depressing

Comes from!!

Iris27 · 04/12/2020 00:14

@FitterHappierMoreProductive

I’d judge too OP but then I’ve read the studies in the impact of TV on the developing brain...

And I’ve had a car screamer. One of mine was a high needs baby, she’s a pretty high needs school age child still now 🙈 but she would scream without cease for hours - unless you sang to her. So we did, endlessly on loop, often the same song over and over again. It totally is possible to interact without using a screen in the car.

That's great that singing worked for you. You do know babies arent all the same though right? My baby was a car screamer. I'm a nervous driver. She had to be put in the front and talking to her, singing, touching her, toys, only worked for a short while. She was also a terrible sleeper. The only tolerable car journey was if it was nap time and she'd fall asleep in the car.

It was dangerous driving with the screaming and lack of sleep so any journeys I tried to time with her nap. If a screen would have helped I damn well would have used one.

nitreatoalasg · 04/12/2020 01:21

Chatting and singing to a baby while you're driving is fucking stupid.

Watching something on a tablet to distract them so they don't scream the whole way won't do them any harm.

I judge people who are too stupid to work that out and so bitter that they'd make a thread about it on mumsnet.

Just

Goodness

Gracious.

Get a life.

Crustmasiscoming · 04/12/2020 01:33

@ClaireP20 who cares what other people do?

I always used to think that no one cared that much about what other people were doing, as long as they werent inconveniencing others in some way, but then I found MN. It turns out that lots of people are privately judging you for the most ridiculous, mundane shit.

TJ17 · 04/12/2020 01:58

@FitterHappierMoreProductive

I’d judge too OP but then I’ve read the studies in the impact of TV on the developing brain...

And I’ve had a car screamer. One of mine was a high needs baby, she’s a pretty high needs school age child still now 🙈 but she would scream without cease for hours - unless you sang to her. So we did, endlessly on loop, often the same song over and over again. It totally is possible to interact without using a screen in the car.

And I've read studies on the impact on the brain when a baby is left to cry too.

Great that singing worked for you - funnily enough you've probably not tried it with every baby in the world. Don't you think people like me have tried that? Along with a million other things. You keep going until you find something that works. If the iPad is that then so be it!!!

So off you fuckety fuck with your judgment. People like you make the world a sad place to live.

Changednamesorry · 04/12/2020 02:00

My son until the age of 3 hated the car. I can't drive and we rarely use a car,but when we went ti Japan to see his grandparents qe used a car a lit for a week out if necessity. His dad was driving abd I literally had to sit in the back of the car trying desperately to keep him in the car seat because he would escape from the straps driving down the motorway. He hated his buggy also.... He has always hated anything that "straps in".

If someone was driving him alone a tablet with cartoons would be the only possible option and even then we never risked it. He is neurotypical... Just absolutely hates being strapped in.

So.... YABU.

TruculentandFarty · 04/12/2020 02:28

My goodness, if a TV had stopped my second one from ear splitting "someone cut a body part off" style screaming and then subsequently puking on every school run and back for his brother I would have totally done this.

We pretty much always arrived at school in the early years with all of us crying. #2 because, well who knows why, me because it was so painful to hear my child so unhappy and #1 because mummy was crying and that upset him and his ears hurt from all the screaming. I'd drop #1 off, calm #2 and me down and then drive home to more screaming.

And yes, walking with a buggy had the same result and a car drive was less time screaming than the walk, so we drove.

Sinful8 · 04/12/2020 02:32

@FoxyTheFox

People coped on car journeys before the Screen obsession started.

I can guarantee if screens existed in the 80s, parents would have used them.

I think the op is just a luddite tbf

Crustmasiscoming · 04/12/2020 03:00

People coped on car journeys before the Screen obsession started.

Well yes, of course they did, just like people coped with horse and cart journeys before the car obsession started. It doesn't really mean anything.