Missing DP

[Secretlyseethingg]

Preface with DP and I don’t live together but it was decided he would stay here for lockdown.

Last night there was a football game on and he went to watch it at a friends. I didn’t mind too much as it was only 4 hours before he’d have been able to do so legally in a pub! While he was there his phone must have died. This happens often as he’s using an awful broken phone.

The time he’s due to come to mine rolls by.. no show. A few hours after.. nothing. I decide to lock the door and go to bed. But still heard nothing at almost 3pm today!

AIBU to think this isn’t on? Despite him staying for lockdown I still think that he is a guest and if he tells me he is coming to my house, then he shouldn’t just not show up or whenever he feels like it. Help me to not send a tirade of texts to a dead phone as I don’t want him to have ‘why can’t I be with my friends’ as a defence.

@Secretlyseethingg

I know he’ll come back (he’ll have to, stuff still here) and just say ‘sorry’ repeatedly while he talks over me. Fucking prick.

2 hours after me explaining why I was upset LN/today and he’s learned nothing

OP you need to gather up whatever shreds of self respect you have left and put his stuff out into the street. Text him to tell him that is where it is and if you can, lock him out.

Block him and move on. Life is too short for this level of tedious drama.

To be brutally honest, he's told you who he is.

You either want this or you don't.

Stick to your guns OP
sometimes it's hard to walk away even though it's the right thing to do.

@Secretlyseethingg

I know he’ll come back (he’ll have to, stuff still here) and just say ‘sorry’ repeatedly while he talks over me. Fucking prick.

2 hours after me explaining why I was upset LN/today and he’s learned nothing

It’s hot that he hasn’t learned anything, he just doesn’t want to. He doesn’t respect you enough to take onboard what you have said.

I wouldn’t mind getting this is a test, he’s seeing if he can get away with it again and then he’ll know he can walk all over you for sure.

Well done for packing his bags. I’d be tempted to scrape his food into a Tupperware box and plonk it with his stuff.

Lock the door, put your phone on silent and ignore. If he starts banging on your door a simple text to say “If you don’t leave now I will call the police” should do it, but make sure you follow through.

Sorry for the typos in that last post

@Secretlyseethingg

So he’s been online for half an hour. I got too tempted so I just said hello. His reply: “how much trouble am I in? It’s not my fault you have my charger”

It’s where he left it!! I don’t have it!

OMG, this is so embarrassing! It’s a 10 on the cringe scale! If you dignify that with a response then more fool you!. The only appropriate response to that is as PP’s say, belongings in a box out on the doorstep. Some of the text suggestions above are spot on! Just do it and get rid of this loser. Your self esteem cannot be so low that you continue to tolerate this.

Leave his stuff on the doorstep. The best reaction is no reaction, ignore, delete, block. You've had a lucky escape.

He’s text his “lost track time of time..I’m sorry.. don’t be mad”. Isn’t it funny how they say don’t be mad and make it seem like if you get upset it’s your fault?

I replied “I’m not going to say it’s okay because it’s not but I’m not going to argue either”. His stuff will be being put outside

Of course he's 2 hours late! Why should he respect you after you let him back in after last night's/today's shenanigans? He knows he can get away with it. This morning he had plenty of time to contact you and explain what happened. His phone started working, how? And even then YOU had to say hello to HIM to get him to talk to you? You're worth more. Don't even bother giving him your opinions on why he's a schmuck, leave that to some other sucker.

@Secretlyseethingg

He’s text his “lost track time of time..I’m sorry.. don’t be mad”. Isn’t it funny how they say don’t be mad and make it seem like if you get upset it’s your fault?

I replied “I’m not going to say it’s okay because it’s not but I’m not going to argue either”. His stuff will be being put outside

I'm glad you're leaving his stuff outside. Now you need to make sure you don't open the door to him . Loud music on headphones?

((hug))

He is an idiot, isn´t he? If he wasn´t, he would know not to pull a stunt like this after last night. He really is determined to show you what a waste of time he is...

@Secretlyseethingg

He’s text his “lost track time of time..I’m sorry.. don’t be mad”. Isn’t it funny how they say don’t be mad and make it seem like if you get upset it’s your fault?

I replied “I’m not going to say it’s okay because it’s not but I’m not going to argue either”. His stuff will be being put outside

Good.

Please stick to it OP.

I wish I had realised long before I did that decent blokes just don't do this shit. It's that simple, they don't.

And you're right not to get drawn into an argument where he will inevitably do the old "this is why I do it, because you're needy / mental / horrible / (insert negative description here)"

Would be pointless to engage further. Stuff on the doorstep, off he fucks.

I assume from his 'how much trouble am I in' that he usually lives with his parents?

They're welcome to him - onwards and upwards for you!

He's a twat.

And he had the arrogance to be online a full 30 mins before contacting you...and only then in response to your message.

Arrogant, disrespectful patronising. Who the hell does he think he is?

Your response was very good.

Oh my goodness I've just read your update. I'm so sorry OP

Don't respond to any further messages. I get that it's hard not to, but every time you do it weakens you a little. So please don't. Block him if you can. Or turn your phone off until you're feeling strong enough not to text.

Let him collect his sh**.
He has no respect.
Don't give him any more precious time

You will be fine without him. More than fine.

he sounds like a prick. Hes acting like youre his mum and hes a naughty teenager. Pretty tedious as an adult and im sure not the sort of parent/child dynamic you want in a partner. Glad youre dumping his arse.

@Secretlyseethingg

I know he’ll come back (he’ll have to, stuff still here) and just say ‘sorry’ repeatedly while he talks over me. Fucking prick.

2 hours after me explaining why I was upset LN/today and he’s learned nothing

Why are you allowing him to walk all over in YOUR house?

Ignore the door if and when he knocks. Headphones are a good idea.
Turn the doorbell off if you can.

Get busy doing something / anything else

It seems to me that he's actively trying to get you to dump him.

You're well rid of the insufferable twat.

I'm sorry OP, but I think he wants out but is too chicken shit to break up with you. He's flaunting his lack of interest in your face inhale half hope that you will finish with him and he gets to look like the good guy. I might be way off but that's how it reads to me.

Oh dear, you did engage and got exactly what you got before! There’s a surprise! Same old teenage BS. He’s not going to grow up anytime soon. He’s playing you. He behaved like a 16 year old, squirmed, blamed, b*ggered off and has done the same thing within hours of the first offence! It beggars belief. I hope you are serious about dumping him. It’s the only way you can have any dignity in this.

Ross post with @LittleWhiteFeather

Be strong because he will keep apologising. You deserve better than this. He doesn't respect you.

Headphones are a great idea. Has anyone ever heard Disturbed’s version of “sound of silence” it’s beautiful. My latest favourite on repeat.

The main thought in my head is the lack of respect. I clearly mean nothing to him if after knowing he upset me, he doesn’t even want to attempt to make it up.