Missing DP

[Secretlyseethingg]

Preface with DP and I don’t live together but it was decided he would stay here for lockdown.

Last night there was a football game on and he went to watch it at a friends. I didn’t mind too much as it was only 4 hours before he’d have been able to do so legally in a pub! While he was there his phone must have died. This happens often as he’s using an awful broken phone.

The time he’s due to come to mine rolls by.. no show. A few hours after.. nothing. I decide to lock the door and go to bed. But still heard nothing at almost 3pm today!

AIBU to think this isn’t on? Despite him staying for lockdown I still think that he is a guest and if he tells me he is coming to my house, then he shouldn’t just not show up or whenever he feels like it. Help me to not send a tirade of texts to a dead phone as I don’t want him to have ‘why can’t I be with my friends’ as a defence.

Oh OP, what an arrogant dick he is. To treat you like that in the first place, then start by asking if he's in trouble, then blaming you for having his charger and then THIS?

Does he have many belongings at yours? Bag them up and pop them outside if you can. This pathetic man-child needs to be someone else's problem, you're far too good for him. He'll figure it out too.

Stay strong x

Great it’s half 10 in the morning and now all I want is salt and pepper chicken. Stay strong op! What a twat he is.

What takeaway did you order.
How odd to just leave it.

Argh he didn't persuade you to let him back did he??

Hope you’re okay OP

"Then the sorry’s started. “I’m such a bad partner” “it was my fault” “in shouldn’t have avoided you”."

Haha the 'sorrys' that he already told you mean nothing because he just says sorry to skip the consequences.

And he was lying. You don't 'lose track of time' for 2 hours when you are just picking up tools. You lose track of time because you are doing something other than picking up tools.

And you especially don't lose track of time if you know you are already 'in trouble' for being a 'bad partner' etc etc blah blah...and you actually care. He is a liar, who doesn't care, and is arrogant enough to think he can get away with it.

What’s that old saying? Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?

Glad you ate his takeaway, he doesn’t deserve it.

His stuff's outside? You're well rid of him, OP.

(I confess, I thought you might cave in and let him crawl back in )

Hope you’re doing ok, @Secretlyseethingg.
Maybe you let him back in, maybe you didn’t. As PP have said, it often takes a lot of this behaviour to finally outweigh the feelings you have for someone and get rid of them. But, whatever you chose, you will be feeling fairly rotten right now, having had him walk all over you twice in back to back incidents. And even if you’ve given him another chance, you will now know deep down that this can’t go on forever. Hope you found your inner strength and got rid but whatever you did, thinking of you.

Hope it's pissing down where you are like it is here!

Hope he's having to pick up his crap that is now sopping wet!

I’d text “thank you SO much for giving me the time and space I needed to think things through on my own, that was really kind of you. Having this opportunity allowed me to realise that I just don’t like you very much. Your stuff is outside. Do have a nice life.”

Hi all , thank you for all your replies and support today. I’ve Been keeping super busy, cleaned the house, got my nails done. Feeling a bit relieved now to say the least!

Well done

I hope you left his charger in the empty take away container.

@Secretlyseethingg

Hi all , thank you for all your replies and support today. I’ve Been keeping super busy, cleaned the house, got my nails done. Feeling a bit relieved now to say the least!

Fantastic to hear this. You keep on looking after yourself and get the house all festive etc, lots of hot chocolate and baileys require. Lots of love xx

It’s tough, especially this time of year. But then this time of year tends to get the arseholes to reveal themselves. Hang in there, you did the right thing

Yeah, he only really came back for the charger, didn't he? The one you 'had' (translation: the one he forgot).

You don't know where he's been (like a stray dog) and he's treating your place like a doss-house/hostel, so he's too high risk (Covid) and too flaky to be welcome any more.

If he were a teenage tearaway and you were his long-suffering mum, it might make sense to let him back in.

Were you looking to adopt a problem teen, just for the challenge, or were you looking for an equal relationship with a caring partner?

Hang on, so he came back and then popped out, never to be heard from again? Or did OP tell him not to come back?

@HarrietPotterska

Hang on, so he came back and then popped out, never to be heard from again? Or did OP tell him not to come back?

That’s what I was wondering. Why has he not tried to come back? Or has the op actually let him back in?

He'll be back.
People like gifts and company at Xmas, they tolerate all sorts.

I'm kidding op (I hope)