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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking pets to other peoples homes

252 replies

Satsuma2019 · 02/12/2020 10:39

Hey, so we are currently trying to make Xmas plans and have decided to host Xmas dinner at our house (within the permitted COVID rules). One family member has a dog... AIBU to say this family member is not to bring their pet when attending.

We don’t have pets and the dogs are known to wee and poo on the floor at a whim. Plus our house isn’t overly big and I just feel that there won’t be a lot of space for my DC to play with their new toys and we are going to have to constantly watch the dog all day to ensure they dont chew on the toys or wee on the floor. Just seems very stressful ...

OP posts:
Whattheactual20201 · 02/12/2020 10:42

Is the dog not trained ? My dog would never pee on your floor.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/12/2020 10:42

We have a 2 year old dog, so are relative newbies, and wouldn't dream of taking him to someone elses home. He is part of our family, not theirs, so we get to do the arranging, the inconvenience not them!

Just tell them no! They can make arrrangements, plenty of dog sitters, walkers, kennels do Christmas. It's a busy time of year for them!

Whatsnewpussyhat · 02/12/2020 10:43

I wouldn't let anyone bring their dog into my house.

JillofTrades · 02/12/2020 10:44

Yanbu at all. We don't have pets even though I grew up with them and we never took them when visiting. I would definitely say no pets and I wouldn't feel bad at all. The pet is part of their family not yours. Make it clear though, because some people actually do not think this would be an issue.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/12/2020 10:44

@Whattheactual20201

Is the dog not trained ? My dog would never pee on your floor.
Nor would mine, but he would chase balls, chew interesting things and try to join in with the kids play! Not really conducive to a pleasant Christmas in someone elses home. At home we'd crate him... but that's a BIG space to take up in someone elses house!
Grumpsy · 02/12/2020 10:45

It’s your house and your rules. However I suppose it depends how far they are travelling, if they can pop home the dog in the day. If you don’t want the dog that’s fine, just be prepared for them to say that they may decline your invite for Christmas.

I have a dog and wouldn’t subject family to them if they didn’t want him around, but I would stay at home as I’m 3 hours away from family so clearly couldn’t leave him.

WorraLiberty · 02/12/2020 10:45

YANBU

Expect them to turn your invite down though if the dogs can't be left alone.

Dazedandconfused10 · 02/12/2020 10:46

If it was going to be for more than 4hours I'd have to decline the invite.

Plus dogs who have been trained dont just wee and poo indoors when they feel like it. Do you think people with pets just spend their time cleaning this up?!

Grumpsy · 02/12/2020 10:47

Just wanted to add I wouldn’t put my dog in kennels either, but that’s my preference.

murbblurb · 02/12/2020 10:47

perfectly reasonable to refuse the dog. They may refuse your invite, but that's fine. Dog ownership comes with a lot of life restrictions.

Iwantacookie · 02/12/2020 10:48

Yanbu my dm trys to bring her dog everywhere and I just want to relax but cant with a dog there all the time. I would say your house your rules but they might have to nip back and let him out ar some point

DrManhattan · 02/12/2020 10:48

Not at all. I wouldn't have a dog in my house

grapewine · 02/12/2020 10:49

YANBU. I've told my friends and family to please not bring their pets into my home. It does mean some people don't visit. You'd have to be prepared that they might stay home.

OrigamiOwl · 02/12/2020 10:50

YANBU to not invite the dog. However they WNBU to decline the invitation if the dog can't be left.

custardbear · 02/12/2020 10:50

My PIL just turn up to everyone's house with their rather badly behaved dog- it's a horrible hound too, she jumped up at one little girl and ripped her rather expensive dress, didn't even bat an eyelid to try and fix or suggest paying for it. They also used to turn up at another family members house with the hound and expect their niece there to take antihistamines as she is allergic - no asking, this aunt got cats and the PIL were so peeved they didn't turn up because Aunty had asked them to not take the dog - really awful

emilyfrost · 02/12/2020 10:50

YANBU. I wouldn’t be having anyone’s animal in my house, regardless of how “well trained”.

They’re the ones limiting themselves going places by owning it so they can’t be put out if it can’t come.

SnuggyBuggy · 02/12/2020 10:51

YANBU, if I wanted a dog in my house I'd own a dog. Nothing wrong with having a house unsuitable for dogs.

Bugoluu · 02/12/2020 10:51

We take our dog to relatives houses when needed but would not be offended if people said no. We would also not be offended if dog was only allowed in a bedroom/kitchen/ crate also but obviously they cant do that all day

Realistically we have to have dog care if we are out for the whole day (eg more than 7 hours or so) so if we were coming for all of Christmas day then we could only come for part of it if the dog couldnt come

Totally respect other people dont want a dog in their house

Twiddlet · 02/12/2020 10:52

Totally reasonable to refuse. We don’t take our dogs anywhere except my in-laws where they stay in one room which has a baby gate and they are supervised by one of us at all times. They can’t be expected to just have free range around your rooms. Although trained dogs don’t poo or wee inside their homes sometimes dogs can mark new places or wee inside if it’s not clear where they are supposed to go to the toilet or if they get left too long without an opportunity to go so it’s not unreasonable to worry about this at a busy time like Christmas.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/12/2020 10:55

@Grumpsy

Just wanted to add I wouldn’t put my dog in kennels either, but that’s my preference.
You might find some 'in home' kennel/sitters near you. We tried a couple before we found one that suited (aka could cope with) our little monster!
Mittens030869 · 02/12/2020 10:56

YANBU. We can’t have friends or family bringing their dogs to our home because my DH is allergic and we also have three cats.

Mischance · 02/12/2020 10:57

Never take a dog to someone else's house. It is a darned nuisance and a cheek.

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 10:57

Well I suppose it depends - my puppy wouldn't chew dc's toys and would most likely just sleep on a human. If ignored she might pee eventually but I could avoid it. She definitely wouldn't poo. YANBU to not want a dog on your home but you need to be prepared for them not to come. I wouldn't leave my dog at home alone all day.

Sheepareawesome · 02/12/2020 10:57

We have just got a dog and would never assume we can take it to other people's houses. We took that into account when we got her. Luckily most people we would visit are local so we could pop back home, apart from one sister who loves dogs and we would take the playpen and put her in the garden when we are allowed to visit there.

As PP have said, it was one of the things we took into account when we got a dog, and we expect not to be able to go to some places.

We have only had one person bring their dog here a few years ago, which was because he was house-sitting for a relative but we reassured him we loves dogs so he brought him. He didn't assume he would be able to bring it either.

beavisandbutthead · 02/12/2020 10:58

The only time I had dogs at my home was PIL small dogs. They were well trained in there own home but every time they turned up to mine they peed all over my house. Concentrated yellow urine which stunk and was hard to clean. Probably didnt help that they hadnt been done so were scenting. If you dont want a dog in your home then tell them.

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