Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking pets to other peoples homes

252 replies

Satsuma2019 · 02/12/2020 10:39

Hey, so we are currently trying to make Xmas plans and have decided to host Xmas dinner at our house (within the permitted COVID rules). One family member has a dog... AIBU to say this family member is not to bring their pet when attending.

We don’t have pets and the dogs are known to wee and poo on the floor at a whim. Plus our house isn’t overly big and I just feel that there won’t be a lot of space for my DC to play with their new toys and we are going to have to constantly watch the dog all day to ensure they dont chew on the toys or wee on the floor. Just seems very stressful ...

OP posts:
Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 02/12/2020 13:31

I mean I do understand if they’re horribly allergic or something, but this is all just so strange to me—I’ve genuinely never met anyone who doesn’t welcome dogs to their house, or who is that precious? Is this is a middle England thing?

chestnutshell · 02/12/2020 13:31

Gosh, PPs would hate our family. 5 dogs between three households. All will be constantly in and out of each other’s households over Xmas. Muddy wellies and tennis-balls everywhere. They’ll all happily chew on bones or snooze whilst we eat dinner and open presents.

Most dogs won’t make a habit of weeing and pooing on the carpet - none of ours would. Having said that it’s your house and your prerogative not to have their dog but I imagine they’d have to decline if they couldn’t bring it. So I suppose it’s the choice between having them there with their dog or not having them at all. Which is more worth it to you? No right or wrong answer, just a straight up choice. Personally I’d rather have my family member there and just have a chat with them first about potentially crating the dog for some of the day or keeping it on a lead.

GabsAlot · 02/12/2020 13:32

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

I wouldn’t be friends with someone who had an issue with having a dog in their house. Ridiculously uptight and precious.
i think youre the precious one
chestnutshell · 02/12/2020 13:33

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy it’s one of those things that I only ever hear about on mumsnet. Everyone I am friends with in real life loves dogs and vast majority own one or would like to.

PrayingandHoping · 02/12/2020 13:33

If the dog isn't trained then no I wouldn't want it in my house.... and I have dogs!

However just be aware if u say no dogs then they may not stay long. The doh won't be able to be left all day home alone and obv how far away they live also comes into it

It is the downside of owning dogs. My family are all happy for my dogs to always come along. But they will also behave, not damage and stay in a room away from everyone when needed .

GabsAlot · 02/12/2020 13:33

middle england thing?

no some people are scared some people dont like the smell some have other pets

get over yourself

Mittens030869 · 02/12/2020 13:35

I wouldn’t be friends with someone who had an issue with having a dog in their house. Ridiculously uptight and precious.

Don't be ridiculous. Some people have genuine reasons not to be able to have a dog in the house.

I actually like dogs; my DSis and her family have a dog and so do some close friends. But we have three cats and my DH is allergic. He can cope with there being a dog in a house where we're visiting but that doesn't mean that we can cope with having a dog here, especially with our cats.

Please don't make such assumptions.

Runssometimes · 02/12/2020 13:38

Dog owner here. However dog is well trained and would never chew on toys or wee indoors. I’ve brought him, with permission to many relatives and friends houses but would always ask and wouldn’t ask first and not get offended if declined. If I thought someone wouldn’t be comfortable I wouldn’t even ask.

You are perfectly reasonable to say you are worried about dog being there, but it’s highly likely they won’t be able to come as they won’t be able to leave dog alone for a long period, or want to spend Christmas without the dog. (I personally wouldn’t be without my dog at Christmas as I see him as part of the family. He has his own stocking and everything!)

Is the dog really badly trained or will they not take responsibility? Is there an option to safely pop the dog in another room whilst the kids are playing etc? It’s still totally ok though to say no if you don’t want a dog in your house at all, but is there any compromise? I’d say no of the dog won’t behave as it’s not worth the stress to be honest.

Sequoiadendrongiganteum · 02/12/2020 13:39

I wouldn’t be friends with someone who had an issue with having a dog in their house. Ridiculously uptight and precious.

Really?! Uptight and precious? That's quite extreme.... Grin

vanillandhoney · 02/12/2020 13:41

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

I wouldn’t be friends with someone who had an issue with having a dog in their house. Ridiculously uptight and precious.
Yeah, how dare people have allergies or phobias. Cheeky fuckers Hmm
bengalcat · 02/12/2020 13:44

Your house your rules but depending on how far they have to travel / stay for then they may decline unless they feel a visit to yours is worth putting said hound in doggy daycare .

TimeIhadaNameChange · 02/12/2020 13:46

No dogs allowed here. I have a cat and various prey animals - it's their home and they deserve to feel safe. Two friends have asked, both have been fine when I've said no.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 02/12/2020 13:46

YANBU, but if you’d be comfortable with them bringing the dog’s crate, perhaps that could work?

Our dog would be fine home alone for three-plus hours, he’d just sleep. Any longer we’d have to make arrangements or pop back to walk him- but that’s our responsibility as dog owners.

bengalcat · 02/12/2020 13:51

I have cats and a dog - when I have friends round ( not in 2020 ) they’re welcome to bring their dogs and they do . Never had any accidents but I have wood floors so it wouldn’t be a disaster . Resident cats just glare , sometimes hiss and side on to the dogs so they soon back off . Just specify your preference - if it doesn’t suit then invitees can always decline .

Happyheartlovelife · 02/12/2020 13:58

I feel you!

Our family members have a dog. The dog eats stuff. Eats off plates. Takes food out of my children’s hands. Eats out of bins. Eats my medication

Bloody nightmare.

PizzaForOne · 02/12/2020 14:00

YANBU - your house, your rules. Just accept they therefore may choose to decline or only attend for a handful of hours.

Yeahnahmum · 02/12/2020 14:00

Well.... how about saying yes to the dog. But only if it stays outside.
That way everyone's a winner

GlowingOrb · 02/12/2020 14:01

If I want to travel, I hire a pet sitter. It’s part of being a responsible pet owner.

LST · 02/12/2020 14:03

@yeahnahmum do you have dogs? Even the best behaved dogs will not take kindly to being left outside if they arent used to it!

Springersrock · 02/12/2020 14:05

YANBU, but then they wouldn’t be unreasonable to decline/not stay very long.

I wouldn’t leave my dog alone at home on Christmas Day (well, we don’t leave her alone for more than a couple of hours any day)

All our family and friends have dogs, she comes with us when we visit, and they are very welcome to bring their dogs when they visit us.

notfromstepford · 02/12/2020 14:07

I have a dog and I wouldn't dream of assuming that I can take him to other people's houses whether they have dogs or not. Some of my friends and relatives have dogs and there are a couple of them that I hate when then bring them over and confine them to the kitchen because they steal the kids food and jump all over the furniture and one of them took a shit on the carpet then as was being shooed out pissed up the kitchen cabinet. By all accounts he's done it in several people's houses and the local shops. I don't let my dog do that so I'm not going to let other people's dog do it! Perfectly reasonable to say no - it's up to them how to respond.

GeordieMamma · 02/12/2020 14:11

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, your house your rules. I have a dog and I just simply wouldn’t visit anyone’s home for an extended period of time who isn’t happy for me to bring my dog. If i was your relative I’d probably have Christmas at home with my dog. Smile

SurreyHillsGirl · 02/12/2020 14:15

@Mischance

Never take a dog to someone else's house. It is a darned nuisance and a cheek.
Don't be daft, some people are v relaxed and don't mind. We have my sister's dogs, our in law's dogs staying, our two love them coming over and get excited when we tell them they are coming. One of my best friend's brings her dog over too, she doesn't want to leave him and I love seeing her so I'm happy for her dog to stay.

However, all the dogs that come to our home are well mannered, house trained and a joy to have around.

Syrrup · 02/12/2020 14:22

YANBU. Don't be disappointed if they decline your invitation though, some dogs can't be left alone and getting a sitter over Christmas will be difficult and expensive.

Peace43 · 02/12/2020 14:29

My ddog comes to my parents for Xmas but the family love him. He is house trained but does chew toys if excited. I run dog interference a lot and give him his own treats, walks etc.. if I couldn’t bring the dog I’d have to cut my visit short. However I wouldn’t expect any non family to accommodate the hairy one!!