Taking pets to other peoples homes

[Satsuma2019]

Hey, so we are currently trying to make Xmas plans and have decided to host Xmas dinner at our house (within the permitted COVID rules). One family member has a dog... AIBU to say this family member is not to bring their pet when attending.

We don’t have pets and the dogs are known to wee and poo on the floor at a whim. Plus our house isn’t overly big and I just feel that there won’t be a lot of space for my DC to play with their new toys and we are going to have to constantly watch the dog all day to ensure they dont chew on the toys or wee on the floor. Just seems very stressful ...

I have my mates dogs round all the time as I’m a massive dog lover

However I have a mate who refuses to train her dog at all-which is a shame as he’s a lovely dog,just never been taught dog manners (he’s a staffie-known for being sweet dogs,just very strong)

Anyway,one day we’d arranged for her to come round for a coffee

I walked down to meet her and she’d brought the dog (he’s so badly trained he’s never allowed off lead-this bit is important)

I could smell a really foul smell,but figured it could be the drains

It got worse and worse,until we got home-I unlocked the door and he just pushed me out of the way and jumped on my brand new sofas (we’d had them a fortnight at this point)

‘Oh yeah!he’s been rolling in fox shit’ she laughed

He was also rolling on my sofa!

She had stood and allowed him to roll in it,and instead of taking him home she just carried on walking to mine!

I chucked them out (she thinks I was unreasonable) and it’s taken months to get the pong out

I’d just refuse to have this dog-it’s your home

I’d never say that a child was unwelcome and would be upset if my child was excluded to avoid mess. I’d expect the same welcome to be extended to my dog who is part of the family too

I think your sister might be a bit offended if you compared your dog to her children, unless of course she adores dogs as much as kids.

Human children are always part of the family, pets not necessarily. Plenty of people consider dogs dirty or keep working dogs in kennels. Kids get bathed and dressed in clean clothes every day, have their bottoms wiped, teeth brushed, wear shoes outdoors etc. Dogs tend to roll in mud (and worse) eat scraps and try to scavenge on dead animals, lick their bottoms and shed constantly. It’s not the same as a niece or nephew wetting the bed when little, people tolerate that as they grow up into people you can have a lifelong relationship with.

Also families with small kids may not want a dog around the kids in case it nips or chews a favourite toy or gets the kids overexcited.

@ForeverAintEnough I wouldn’t be offended, I just wouldn’t enjoy my Xmas day thinking of the dog’s having been stuck in all day or needing feeding. We have a lot of other animals too, so mid afternoon meals are a nightmare for us and I really prefer to stay home for Xmas. Unfortunately our close relations are Christmas obsessed and always want a big Xmas at their house!

@Rainbowandscarlett your friend sounds like a complete and utter idiot. How disgusting.

My FIL and his wife are like this, they have a filthy little dog that goes everywhere with them, literally everywhere. We invited them over but made it clear they couldn't bring the dog inside as we had a kitten and 3 house rabbits. They decided they couldn't both manage it so FIL came inside the house and the wife sat in the car with the dog. They dress this thing in babies clothes and bonnets too! Honestly. They're the sort of people that would just assume the dog is invited to everything, some people just don't understand that not everyone feels the same way about their pet as they do.

YADNBU, tell them they can't bring the dog and why, but they WNBU to decline the invite.

Just say no pets sorry. Thry eill need to put the dog in a kennel or stay at home. I don't allow dogs in my house.

If I was invited to someone's house I wouldn't ever assume that invite includes my dogs.

And to be honest I wouldn't want to take a dog to a non dog lovers house. Although mind are trained well, they still shed and one is a drooler. I'd be uptight all the time.

So I'd rather stay at home where anyone is welcome to bring their dogs over!

I wouldn’t have a dog in my house.

I've always taken my dog but he's trained and treated as one of the family

One of my friends will only let me visit if I take the dog, she likes her more than she likes me!

Ps we stayed over and he's not problem, just take his bed with us

Imo ddogs are like dc in that you are responsible for their wellbeing and happiness and can't just buggar off out for a day and leave them home alone.
Also not being precious to want to spend Xmas with the ddog that you love and share your life with either!! Our ddogs love the festive season.
Only yesterday ours enjoyed (stole) a bloody box of mince pies!
Save most of them and she isn't ill...

We have a fantastic dog walker/ sitter for if we’re out for the day or when we’re working 😊

I take dog to my mums but she loves him - if she said no I wouldn’t mind, her house her rules. We also do Christmas at ours as I have a horse I can’t leave on Christmas Day or Boxing Day so dog isn’t an issue over the holidays.

YANBU. I agree that having a dog around when you neither have, nor want one yourself is a royal pain in the bum. I've always been very strict about this myself. One or two friends and relatives over the years have learned that I mean what I say - when they've turned up with their dog after I've made my rules clear. Obviously thought I'd make an exception when they turned up on my actual doorstep with their doggie in tow.

Admittedly I've felt a bit bad about it sometimes when people are surprised or upset at the rule - but I'm sure they don't feel as bad as I would having an unfamiliar unpredictable animal around my home and children. Also I'm very sensitive to the smell of dog and try to avoid visiting people who have them so it works both ways.

Nothing wrong with a no dog rule.

I'd never just turn up at someone's house with my dog, especially not a family occasion. The only time we take him along for a visit is when we see my FIL, who looks after him when we're on holiday so they adore each other. Last time we popped round (pre-covid) the dog wouldn't stop whining at the cupboard under the sink and when FIL investigated, he found a ball that the dog had left behind months ago

My dog would never do the toilet on the floor but he is nosy as sin and has to be sitting on someone at all times. He'd get in the way.

We have dogs and don't take them to other people's homes. However if our pup sitter cannot come over and look after the dogs while we are out we don't go as it's unfair to leave dogs for long periods of time. So you need to be prepared for those guests not to come.

My ex MIL knew that I don't like animals and yet she would always bring her horrible dog with her when she visited. It used to shit everywhere and would growl and nip people. Poor thing wasn't loved or trained and that was why it was like it.
The amount of times she had telling she off from the police for leaving it locked in the car was unbelievable. She took it everywhere, but then left it in the car!

The trick is you have to awesome and have a dog

My 'non dog owning' family members know we won't come without the dog and would happily say "crack on without us". But we bring the fun and the dog, so people welcome us all! Not even joking.

Why would the dog poo on the floor, do they not take it for walks? Or is it a puppy?

Absolutely hate it when people bring smelly dogs to my house. I don’t think they are cute, just annoying and stressful.

Totally not unreasonable, its your house your rules. I love animals and all my friends know pets are welcome visitors but I wouldn't dream of taking either of my dogs to somebodies house unless the explicitly told me they where welcome and my dogs are very well trained.

SIL turned up at ours many years ago (when she was just new to the family) with her pet poodle. Knowing full well we have a cat, and excitable young kids. When I pointed it out very politely she said "dog is well trained" - which is fine but kids and cat were not well trained.

She never bought the dog round again after a fraught half an hour of the cat hissing at it and the kids poking it [it really was a well trained little thing]

Please don't assume its as easy as getting a kennel or dog walker. Many of these will be booked up well in advance so with less than 4 weeks to go its unlikely they'll have a reputable professional that is free (and then there's the extra cost if they can!)

Totally reasonable to say they can't bring the dog, though they'll be reasonable to decline the invite.

Out of interest, you say you've decided to host. Is there someone/somewhere else you'd normally have Christmas where the dogs would be invited?

Either way, tell them asap so they have some chance of making alternative plans

God no! I had the in-laws round and they brought 2 dogs with them. One dog sat in the baby bouncer . I know it sounds cute, but I hated it. It was still being used by my baby. Dogs and cats lick their own bums. The dogs were hyper because they had been in a car for 2 hours. Everything the kids wanted to eat , I have 2 boys, the dogs wanted it. Dog hair on the floor, clothes .. Yuk! I was glad they left. Mum in law also thought it would be a good idea to put her bare unwashed feet into my sons sand pit. Disgusting and rude.

Most dogs won’t pee or poo on the floor generally, only very young or very old dogs are likely to do it regularly

But regardless, YANBU to not want a dog in your home. I wouldn’t use the toileting excuse to your family member as they’re likely to then argue that their dog is housetrained. I would just say you don’t want a dog in the house while you have guests and the excitement of Christmas.

But you will also need to accept it with good grace if they decide not to come if they can’t bring the dog.