Pissed off at being volunteered

[goodwillcunting]

NC as this has just happened so very outing but I'm so fucked off I don't even care.

I was going to post in craft section but I genuinely can't tell if IAB(totally)U and thought it would be helpful to get non crafters views too.

I crochet for relaxation. I enjoy it, I don't sell anything but I do gift it sometimes if someone specifically asks for something but I tend to prefer just to suit myself. I was showing a friend a little project I was doing for my house last week and she's just informed me she's 'sold' a few for charity. I couldn't hide my WTF response but have ended up agreeing to do the ones she's committed to but no more.

yanbu that is some cheeky fuckery

Yabu It wont take that long and it is for charity

I feel so pissed off but at her reaction I'm not sure if I need to stop being a grinch

She’s pulled a fast one in you...that’s exploitation. Tell her some thing came up and dint make it.x

Not read the full thread but just say No, OP! There is no shortage of people lining up to take advantage of crafters. I sew, and so follow this page on Insta( canyousewthisforme) where people tell their stories of being taken advantage of. Go have a read and it will help you say a stronger no. This is not just for you, but for crafters everywhere.

Sounds like she couldn't be bothered to do anything for her work's charity of choice, so she volunteered you to do it for her instead. I'm glad you've stood your ground.

I know you've resolved the issue now, but if it was me I'd have sent her a copy of the pattern and links to where I buy my stock from and then asked when she wanted to catch up on zoom for a tutorial on how she can make them! Then said obviously your help would have been for free as it's for charity she then gets to up her tally by her own hard work, learns a new skill and perhaps thinks before she assumes she can expect someone else to do her hard work for her (without offering to buy them either! Which I would have done was I her, or would have offered to contribute in some other act of kindness in payment for the time and money to the crafter)

Are you in a financial position to donate the amount already “sold” to charity yourself? If so, donate it. You don’t feel guilty about the charity funds then, and you still have the joy of your relaxing hobby done at your own pace. Text your friend - “Thank you for highlighting xx charity. I have donated cash to them and feel good about it. I won’t be able to complete the items you want to sell, as I am currently working on my own project.”

Good luck, OP. YADNBU

It would be a big fat FUCK OFF from me, cheeky fucker😡

Wow! How gobsmackingly rude!!! Tell her that it’s hundreds of hours of your time that she has volunteered and she can come and clean your house, wash your car, shampoo and worm your cat,etc until the hours are made up! What a cow!

She is not really a friend if she does something like this. I would tell her now she will have to go back and un sell the items because they don't exist. Cause her maximum embarrassment.

I totally wouldn't do it. She should have asked if you had time.

Whenever anyone asks me for a cheeky favour or volunteers me to do something I tell them "Well I dont know what to charge off the top of my head but Ill get back to you with a price shall I?"

Find it a good conversation stopper.

She's volunteered your time, effort, skills and money (for materials) without your permission - that's definitely CF territory regardless of whether or not the proceeds go to a good cause. You have every right to be pissed off.

Whenever I read a thread that's days old, I read it before pontificating twee old shite that a) has already been said dozens if not hundreds of times and b) was acted upon 48 hours ago.

This makes it easier for the poor old buggers who go back to the thread for an update only to find out that some arsehole who assumes their opinion is more important than our time thinks that the fucking cheque should be cancelled.

Bans should be handed out to persistent offenders. I see a poster who's username I recognise solely from similar circumstances did this last evening.

Yes but @ArnoJambonsBike that is because you realise after 8 pages and nearly 200 messages, your pearls of wisdom may just have been said.

Others have such unique pearls of wisdom that us plebs still need to hear them. We are truly blessed by those who cba to rtft

@BloggersBlog

Yes but *@ArnoJambonsBike* that is because you realise after 8 pages and nearly 200 messages, your pearls of wisdom may just have been said.

Others have such unique pearls of wisdom that us plebs still need to hear them. We are truly blessed by those who cba to rtft

There's even less excuse for not RTFTing now it's so easy to filter the OP's posts. As for the 'haven't read the thread but...' people, they don't even have the excuse of making a mistake.

I knit or crochet pretty much everyday as it's my obsessive hobby, so I have some understanding of the time and effort that goes into making things. I would be also be very angry and upset in your position op. I get fed of of people undervaluing the work of others.

Also, Ravelry is amazing. Have fun.

Funny the way some people are so generous with the talents of others.

CF is right.

I am reminded of a previous thread where a hairdresser found that her skills were being offered as a raffle prize for the PTA raffle; not a simple "updo", costing "just" time and skill, but a colouring job, costing much more in materials and time. The CF wanted to impress the PTA and did not consider whether the business could bear that expense, or tying up salon time in the busy run-up to Christmas (remember those days?) It was not even the school her own child attended! CF was most put out when the Head, previously under the impression that a local business had, unprompted, made a generous offer, had to be told that the prize was not available. CF, far from apologizing, was furious that she had been "made to look bad".
I can't decided which is cheekier: being generous with someone else's source of income, or presuming that a hobbyist's precious free time is worthless.
As I've said before, I find this reply handy, "Well I'm very busy at the moment, but the extra cash would come in useful!"

She is ridiculous, but well intentioned? She may think you need a push or confidence to sell? I don't know, at a loss.

She is beyond being a cheeky fucker! She is stealing your time and money by demanding that you contribute to the charity of her choice, that she is required to raise funds for by her job. So, she can crochet or knit or bake or do whatever she does to raise the funds required by her job for her target fund raising. Requiring you to do the fund raising for her is just beyond belief. Why do you consider her a friend? I would in no uncertain terms tell her it is beyond the pale to expect you to do this, that you refuse and I would reconsider your "friendship". She is using you and any "friend" that treats you this badly doesn't deserve your friendship. This is genuinely awful behavior on her part. Widen your circle of friends and dump this one. You deserve better.

You have to raise this with her otherwise your relaxing hobby will be spoilt....if not your friendship.

Absolutely brilliant updates op. Well done.

@twoshedsjackson I remember that thread - I think it didn’t end well - if I remember the friend and cf had a huge falling out

So you do the work pay for the item, charity gets the funds and cheeky lazy fu**er gets the pat on the back. 🤬 me thinks not. If you feel obliged now, do something for the charity yourself. Some nice bunting, from bits of wool left over, donate or sell. Tell her you just haven't had the chance. Or tell her to buy the wool and you will crack on.