Pissed off at being volunteered

[goodwillcunting]

NC as this has just happened so very outing but I'm so fucked off I don't even care.

I was going to post in craft section but I genuinely can't tell if IAB(totally)U and thought it would be helpful to get non crafters views too.

I crochet for relaxation. I enjoy it, I don't sell anything but I do gift it sometimes if someone specifically asks for something but I tend to prefer just to suit myself. I was showing a friend a little project I was doing for my house last week and she's just informed me she's 'sold' a few for charity. I couldn't hide my WTF response but have ended up agreeing to do the ones she's committed to but no more.

yanbu that is some cheeky fuckery

Yabu It wont take that long and it is for charity

I feel so pissed off but at her reaction I'm not sure if I need to stop being a grinch

This is ridiculous. Tell her you will not be doing it because you don't want to and won't enjoy it. She can make the items herself if she wants to.

Thanks for giving me my spine back everyone.

Text sent, weight lifted and my mood has improved greatly!

Please let us know what she says :-)

Tell her that's great.

Say: "I'll teach you how to make them and you can make loads of them for charity. Get hold of the materials and I'll teach you on Zoom. How about I teach you at the weekend."?

I understand you may feel obliged to do them because of the charity aspect.

The problem is that if you do them and say nothing to her, you might find yourself in this situation again.

Your respons could be 'I'm happy to donate my hours making Xx, but since you have not discussed this with me, I expect you to cover the cost of the materials'. After that there is probably no need to tell her to never volunteer you again .

(i would phone her and say on second thought, this is not doable this close to my Christmas gift making).

Well done, OP.

Are you sure it's for charity? I would want to see proof. I hate to be cynical but have seen something similar happen and the cash was pocketed by the generous cheeky fucker

Same here with a PTA treasurer; she pocketed the takings and the school, persuaded by floods of tears not to involve the police, even allowed her to go on collecting money

Glad you're saying no, OP, but why should it "not go down well"? She doesn't get to say what you do with your time and the lack of money for materials just puts the lid on it

CF indeed

Sorry x-post, late to the party .

What a user! It’s exploitation of your creativity, skills and kindness! She’s relying on you to deliver for her own gain and pressured you into doing so. What a bad friend! Tell her to do it herself (she can’t but she should!) And bin her off

It's the kind of thing I'd probably do if she had asked but I'd be incredibly pissed off that she assumed without asking. Sounds Cheeky as Fuck.

I'll let you know what she says. I'm hoping she complains about metells people too and maybe she'll realise that it was a complete cheek!

She's not usually a CF so giving her the benefit of the doubt I'd say it's her lack of appreciation of effort but given the response of non crafters on here I'd say it's still cheeky regardless

Good for you to send the text!

YANBU!

Volunteering someone else to do something is real CF-ery. I don't even volunteer DH to do stuff without checking with him that it's ok.

Tell her you can't do it.

Here’s a link to the Selfish Knitters and Crocheters Group on Ravelry which saltinesandcoffeecups mentioned.

Their current tag-line is
No more knitting/crocheting for people who don’t vote for your sainthood as a result.

I knit and crochet to raise money for a particular charity. I donate my time and materials so all the money (apart from postage) goes to the charity. I made a large item for a friend, who supports the same charity, and something else for her as commissions.
A week or so ago she asked if I could make something specific for a friend. I can and I will - but she had the courtesy to ask me. I'm now in touch with the friend and looking forward to the challenge. All done in the right way.
To offer someone else's creations without consultation is extremely ill-mannered.

You are not being at all unreasonable OP.

My friend crochets. It takes her a long time and she does it to a high standard and she has even done the odd bit for charity... but only because she chose to. She'd be absolutely livid to be volunteered like that and you should be too. If someone came and asked her and she had time / inclination she'd probably agree to it but no way would she tolerate being TOLD she had to do it.

Both DCs have beautiful blankets she made them when they were born. DD is 15 and it still looks pretty well as good as it did when it was made :)

Off topic but I do love your user name OP.

Christ that’s awful. Someone tried to do something similar to my mum (she’s an excellent quilter) and tried to flog my mum designing and making a double quilt for around £30 - because ‘that’s what a nice throw costs’. My mum went bananas and broke down for her that the materials and time to construct it would be well over £100, let alone the time it took to design the bloody thing too. The woman was gobsmacked and told her she would never sell any at those prices! Mum has never tried to sell any! For the exact reason that people will not pay for skill or time because they do not see the value of it, the just see the physical product.

You absolutely should not feel bad for a) not agreeing to do it and b) saying you mis-spoke when you agreed to. You made no commitment to doing it, this is entirely an exchange that has taken place in her head. You shouldn't feel (or act) like you're reneging on a commitment - you never made one and should remind her of that. As for agreeing to it when she foisted it on you, just say you didn't fully understand what she was asking of you, and now you understand

Sorry posted too soon

... now you understand you know you can't commit to it

You need to join the “Selfish Knitters and Crocheters” group on Ravelry and learn how to say no.

I crochet and have occasionally had people ask me to make something for them. The true answer is "I don't like you enough to do that, and if I did I would have offered first", what I actually say is "I have a long list of projects waiting to be made so I won't have time, but I can give you links to some great tutorials on YouTube". They invariably say "Oh, I'm so busy I wouldn't have time for anything like that".

Unbelievable cheekiness. So glad you have said no and also glad you have found Ravelry.

good for you.
It was a very CF thing to do, and using the idea of it being for charity to pressure you into doing. It wasn't for charity, it was a lazy way for her to do her "fundraising" If she kicks up as a result of your refusal I'd be tempted to say you prefer to donate directly to the charity instead.
Quite apart from the cost of the materials, for which she would be taking the credit and the time etc, you are not a production line.