Pissed off at being volunteered

[goodwillcunting]

NC as this has just happened so very outing but I'm so fucked off I don't even care.

I was going to post in craft section but I genuinely can't tell if IAB(totally)U and thought it would be helpful to get non crafters views too.

I crochet for relaxation. I enjoy it, I don't sell anything but I do gift it sometimes if someone specifically asks for something but I tend to prefer just to suit myself. I was showing a friend a little project I was doing for my house last week and she's just informed me she's 'sold' a few for charity. I couldn't hide my WTF response but have ended up agreeing to do the ones she's committed to but no more.

yanbu that is some cheeky fuckery

Yabu It wont take that long and it is for charity

I feel so pissed off but at her reaction I'm not sure if I need to stop being a grinch

She's a liberty taker. X

Good for her - hope she enjoys making them!

Height of CFery imo, please don't feel guilty telling her to fuck off.

Why would you agree to this?!? Really at this point you have no one to blame but yourself.

Let her know that you are unable to do it and you are not sure why you agreed in the first place. Honestly the best thing for you at this point is to be thought of a flake by her. Disappoint her now so that she never asks you again if you aren’t able to stand up for yourself.

I am a knitter and point blank refuse to make things for people under duress. I have gifted a few things, but it was my choice and the recipient had no idea ahead of time that I planned to do it.

Yeah, she's using you for her own gains. I'm sure she'll play the popular card with her amazing charitable work, completely dismissing your skill, time and effort and your contribution (and your costs assuming she's not buying the materials, CFx2!). It's not about charity at all and she should be ashamed of herself.

So many good points sorry I can't credit every individual but you have made me feel better that I'm not just a miserable cow.

I'm going to tell her I'm sorry but I've mis-spoke when I've agreed.

I'm not the type of person who enjoys making the same thing over and over. I usually sigh a relief I'm finished and look for inspiration to do the next thing.

I'm sure it won't go down to well but I'm prepared.

As for how much she charged people in my red mist I didn't even ask her
To answer someone else she never offered to cover the cost of materials

Turn up at the school with the finished product ask where the teachers room is and take it to her. Explain X said you wanted one for charity so i made it for you. So she knows it's your work and not your friends. X

Don't do it. Absolutely do not. You are NOT being petty.

Tell her that's massively overstepped ALL your boundaries and that you will be making a personal donation to that charity directly, not via her school project.

Don't let her do this to you, because if you give in now, she'll do something even worse again and again.

I'm more bolshy that the peoplempleaser I used to be, so it would have been a No from me the moment she said she'd volunteered me.

It's going to cost you a lot. And there is no way you should be doing these at a loss.

Cost up the scaled down version if you still think you'll make them., and make sure you recover the basic costs, pricing them to ensure some money went to charity.

Apologies, that'll teach me to start typing a reply then go and buy something online halfway through

I'm delighted you're going to stand up for yourself, great news!

I can see why you might feel you should do it as it's for charity but if you let her get away with it this time she will just carry on with this sort of behaviour.

I wouldn't do it myself and I would tell her clearly she should not be selling my handmade items without my discussion & agreement first. If I wanted to support the charity I would make a donation myself of an amount and at a time of my choosing. If you do make the items at least make sure she covers your costs of materials & something in recognition of your time - if you then donate the money to the charity yourself that's up to you but she shouldn't get to use your materials and time at no cost to herself. If I was feeling really petty I might do something to contribute to one of the other teachers' tally instead.

Please don't feel petty at saying no. It's not like you have the items lying around and are holding something back for shits and giggles.

The items aren't available, you aren't available to make them, and your friend was being an eejit. Spending your time, effort and materials to make items which aren't what the recipients want is a waste of your time and likely to piss them off with you. Which is all kinds of wrong.

Say no to the whole idea. If you really want to contribute to the charity, do so in a way of your choosing and don't put it through the "friend." So that she doesn't get the credit for it or the ability to fuck up further.

I wouldn't even have agreed to make the ones she has promised.
"Sorry, I don't want to do that" is fine. Then let her make her excuses to the people she's made promises to.
CF.

Either tell her yes off course, this is how much I want for them (factor in your labour and wool), if she has underpriced them to the person she is ‘selling’ to let her sort that out.
Or alternatively (probably what I’d do) just not find the time to do them. A breezy ’oh you know how busy December is, I just haven’t had a chance to do them yet’ repeat,
or ‘ I have looked at my schedule and I’m far busier than I thought so I will have to decline your offer of contributing to your charity, I’m sure you understand’

I'm not a crocheter but I do knit and have a good appreciation of how long these things take - and how much decent yarn costs.

This is cheeky fuckery IN THE EXTREME, especially at a time of year when you probably have 101 other things to do. Tell her no.

I totally get why you'd want just to do them to keep the peace. But then she'll be all "Oh goodwill can do that, goodwill will whip that up in no time, of course goodwill will crochet you cashmere cushion covers for a tenner because it's charity"....

Nip it in the bud, @goodwillcunting. Maybe develop RSI in your wrist as a result of crocheting your own things.

Oh and yeah she’s a CF!

X-posted. V glad to hear you're saying no.

I'm assuming you are supposed to pay for the yarn as well, since it's for charity and all? CFery indeed!

Sorry if I was overly harsh... I get what it’s like to be blinded sided by people like this. If you’re not already a member may I suggest the Selfish Knitters group on Ravelry

Is she giving you the money for materials? Never mind your time. Definitely cheeky. My dh makes wooden clocks and my friend wanted one but they are expensive so we had a collection at work and I let them have one for her at a discount when she retired. I had quite a few comments along the lines of " ooh they are beautiful but quite expensive" well yes but wood and clock movements and 20 coats of varnish are not cheap. We ended up with about £12 profit not taking into account his time. Sorry can you tell it still rankles.

I just wouldn’t do it. It’s her with egg all over her face not you.

Very cheeky, I don't make things to order because it's a hobby, I don't want to be working to deadlines and what's a fair price based on my time would be very expensive.

I do offer to make things for people but I don't take requests! This way i only ever make things i want to make :-)

OUTRAGEOUS!!!!! I knit and crochet and this is absolutely beyond the pale. It would be a blanket NO from me. What an absolute cheek.

not at all @saltinesandcoffeecups I had a lapse in judgement and was immediately pissed off with her and myself. It's taken a dose of reality to get back on track. The best part of this I didn't know about ravelry and I'm about to sign up

Sorry op, shouldn’t laugh - but, really? Is there a new level of CF that I haven’t heard of? Jeezo. That is just soooo rude.

Wow, I'm gobsmacked!! Proper cheek.

Just say you've had time to think about it now and it doesn't work for you anymore.

Tell her you'd be delighted to email her some Youtube tutorials so that she can make them herself!