Is your husband's / partner's personality like your dad's?

[firesong]

I was reading about women choosing partners who are like their dads. Is your male partner like your dad? Or your female partner like your mum?

My ex was, thank goodness I seen the light! My dad was a twat and I'm NC.

No, they are quite different, although there are some fundamentally similar traits.

DH is more of a man’s man - loves all sorts of sports, a few beers with his mates (well, he did back in the day, more of a pinot noir drinker these days).

DF had zero interest in sport, and was very passionate about the arts.

They are both social and gregarious, enjoy company and entertaining. But DH is a chatter and can while away the time with anyone, whereas DF didn’t go in for ‘chat’.

They both like to be organised and like routine. DH is the warmer of the two, DF comes across quite differently.

If anyone’s seen Travels With My Father - DH is Jack, and DF is Michael!

Love them both very much, they’re both the epitome of ‘good men’. But they are (or were, in the case of DF) very much their own characters.

They are similar in being practical types with skilled trade jobs. And also very kind and friendly. But my dad is the sort who will potter around in a shed all day and DH is much more outgoing and focused.

I had a BF at university, visiting his home, I was helping him mend a bike. I said "where does your dad keep his tools?". They looked baffled and eventually found a couple of screwdrivers in a kitchen drawer. That relationship was doomed.

No.

I get on with my Dad but he's controlling and stubborn.

My first long term boyfriend was like him and the relationship was awful.

Dh is the polar opposite, laid back, intelligent and happy to admit when he's wrong.

My DH is quite practical like my Ddad and very unwilling to ask for help
me and my Dsis chose quite similar partners (looks, age, background, personality etc)

Actually my DH is very stubborn like my Ddad but not willing to admit it.

Nope. My father was a selfish alcoholic who was not cut out for parenting. He buggered off very early on and never returned. My husband is a devoted dad who always puts his family first.

My husband is absolutely nothing like my dad. My dad is an alpha and my husband definitely isn't. My dad is argumentative and difficult.

I bloody hope I'm nothing like my MIL.

No. My dad was very angry and shouty, materialistic, status-driven, manipulative and not very present in my life. Very “alpha male”in an unpleasant way. So I’ve gone the total opposite and my DP is about the most laid back person I’ve met, very gentle and caring, NEVER shouts. He’s quite nurturing and a very loving and involved dad. He’s also a scruffy socialist who lives in ripped jeans and old t shirts xD

They are quite similar, very much a 50/50 partner and parent, same interests, both generally nice people.

My DH is much more laid back and less fiery than my dad which is great.

I’m nothing like my MIL, she is/was very much the little woman at home

They are both socially awkward but can't see it. Neither of them like being told when they're wrong.

Other than that, the similarities end!

Yep. It's weird as people think they're related. It's the interest in cars I think, suppose maybe I felt nostalgic about it when meeting a partner and liked the enthusiasm they shared

Seems like if you like your dad your oh is similar in some way, but if you hate your dad your oh is opposite in every way!

I think that one of the few things my Dad and my DH have in common are both being male.

Haha! Yes 🤦‍♀️ Not looks wise at all but certainly personality type they’re very similar. My dads one of the good guys

No the complete opposite DP is very kind considerate affectionate and helpful we're together years.
My first few partners/boyfriends were like my Dad my first real relationship was with a man 19 years older he turned out to be a psychopath.
My next partner of 6 years was very like my dad too. I love my Dad he isn't affectionate he is arrogant hot headed he knows it all you walk on eggshells DM hated living with him.

Very similar indeed (my third, and current (!) husband) except my husband doesn't build shelves in every available alcove in the house 😃

@Autumnblooms

Seems like if you like your dad your oh is similar in some way, but if you hate your dad your oh is opposite in every way!

Mine are opposites, but that doesn't mean I hate either of them.

DH is much easier going than my Dad. My Dad is very old school style of person (though very generous to us as his family) and is a huge perfectionist, which I couldn't really live with long term as an adult. Nothing wrong with being a perfectionist and wanting to get things right, but he is pedantic in the extreme about it which makes people feel as though they can never get anything right.

Yes mine is. My dad is my best friend though.

Nothing like my dad at all. Thank God.

My dad isn't a bad man or abusive or anything, just maddening to be around or live with. He's a product of his upbringing and I feel sad for him, but no way would I have married someone like him.

God no. There’s similarities with my mum’s though...

No. I would avoid dating someone if they were anything like my dad.

There’s similarities with my mum’s though
Yes for me too.

It's one of my great sadnesses that DH and my dad never met as, whilst they their personalities are/were very different, they had so much in common and had the same outlook and community spirit which I love about them both.

(DH and I got engaged within a month so I couldn't have known most of this but maybe some of it shone out?)

No, not at all.