Is your husband's / partner's personality like your dad's?

[firesong]

I was reading about women choosing partners who are like their dads. Is your male partner like your dad? Or your female partner like your mum?

No, and I’m glad. My dad isn’t a very nice man and we have very little contact.

However my DH is very similar to my grandad and my stepdad, who both played much more of a part in bringing me up than my dad ever did.

No resemblance at all. I'm too much like my father for that to be a good idea, honestly! My husband's personality is more like my mother's, I'd say...

Interestingly (?), I'm the eldest child in my family, as my father was in his, and both my husband and mother were middle children.

When my best friend first met my now husband she said to me "i can see why you like him, he reminds me of your dad".

My dad is a kind, loving, loyal, generous, smart and funny. I said if i met a man even half as wonderful as him i'd be very lucky :)

Not at all.

Not at all. I'm the one who resembles my dad - strong personality (not nasty, just quite opinionated ), assertive, wants to get up and solve things - and DP is as laid back as they come.

It's a repeating pattern. Mum was pretty easy going, both sisters are like me and their partners are laid back, my aunt (Dad's sister) was married to someone who could make a sloth look agitated. It avoids blood on the carpet!

My Dad is much shoutout and more outgoing than my laid-back, quiet DH, so I thought they were poles apart. Until they started comparing cookery tips, loving the same TV shows and films, and going out together on day trips where they apparently chat non-stop (even my usually silent DH) ALL day. So now I realise I’ve married my dad, but a much more relaxed version.

*shoutier

Not as far as I can tell.

Even in things like they both take a lot of shit from people, there are very different personality traits and motivations at play - my spouse likes to help people and gets frustrated when he can't, my father expects a reward even if it's just to be appropriately showered with praise.

My father's personality is so inconsistent I sometimes wonder if all the drug use he did has melted that kind of intoxicated way of talking at extremes and radically switching midthought has just become who he is. He's not even really a people pleaser, he just uses others to base his current personality and morality off of. It was weird when as a teen and he was dating, he switched a lot depending on who he was dating and whether or not that person is around. Same around his family - with one of his brothers he was vicious, with others he'd hide his ashtrays and be very docile. It's hard to know who he really was, even without others around there were times it was obvious he was almost channeling some trait that he thought he was meant to be.

I described this once as someone who is led around by his nose, which is the opposite to my spouse who is very sure of himself. I'm sort of in the middle of the two.

No not at all.
DH is a decent human being and an absolutely fantastic and devoted dad to our children.

My dad was neither.

Not "the same", but there are elements that are similar, and overall I really like many of those.

My DH is nothing like my father. I am so, so thankful for it.

I don’t know.

I am told I’m very like my dad though (and not in a positive way )So it would be odd if Dh was also like me/us.

Mine are different - although they are both quite quiet. Both are lovely though!

Good grief no.

In many ways, yes. Both gentle, easy-going, family men, the kind who find it easy to think of others, both been very involved with their children. Dh is a bit more independent, more likely to take the initiative when things need doing, but doesn't have my dad's inexhaustible funds of energy. Dh is mentally tougher in the face of illness and disaster (thankfully, as we've had a lot of those), my dad had more sheer physical endurance. But both basically good men who pulled their weight.

My dm recently noted that dh was nothing like my dad and she didn’t mean it as a compliment. She saw it more as a poor reflection on her. I love my dad but he was a quiet loner, leave dh unattended at a bus stop and he’s made a new best friend.

Nope, my DF is very opinionated and argumentative, partner is very calm and easygoing. I don't deal well with arguments and an angry atmosphere so this works for me. I basically just want a calm life.

Much as I love DF, I couldn't live with someone like that

Yes quite similar now you mention it but they are both kind, good-humored, easy-going, so likely qualities that you'd be looking for whether your Dad had them or not.

Yes 🤦🏻‍♀️

And just to be completely Freudian I am the epitome of his mother even down to star sign. Her taste is my taste, she buys stuff for the children that I would have picked if I’d been there myself 🙈

Absolutely not. I couldn't stand my dad growing up so picked someone very different to him. Unfortunately I have the same personality traits as my dad so it's my husband I feel sorry for

In a lot of ways, yes. So, a working class background, super intelligent & career driven. But hes far more patient (my Dad didnt suffer fools gladly) & not as confident , prob due to a crappy childhood, which my Dad didnt have . He's sort of a mellowed version of my Dad.

DH and DF are very similar (loyal, chatty, hardworking, enjoy discussing the ways and rules of society ad infinitum).
DH is nothing like his own father who was an arrogant manipulative and lying cheat. It turns out DBil and DSil sadly have the full complement of DFils genes

Nope