Is your husband's / partner's personality like your dad's?

[firesong]

I was reading about women choosing partners who are like their dads. Is your male partner like your dad? Or your female partner like your mum?

Noticeably similar in values and outlook.

No.. I deliberately went for the absoute opposite. My Dad was clever, a man's man, extremely articulate, spoiled and a womaniser. Also a lousy father tho I loved him.
I married a kind, faithful decent man who has been a great husband and great dad and is happiest with his family plus a bit of sport to keep him exercised like a puppy!
The kids are all settling down with partners who appear to have the same faithful genes :)

No, he couldn’t be more different. Hes kind, emotionally intelligent, confident (without being cocky), driven and a good communicator.

My father lacks emotional intelligence, isn’t capable of making decisions, and not particularly pleasant. My mother is an abusive bully.

No, not similar at all.

My father thinks strength is only physical, he doesn't understand that you don't have to be beating your chest to get what you want.

My father is very protective, caring and truly does love us and he's by no means all bad, but he will always take a risk, when his backs against the wall he is vile and ruthless. People in general are scared of/by him as he has that sort of air about him. He is loud and confident and can be incredible rude.

My hubby is quiet and confident, but doesn't need to prove how clever he is, he has nothing to prove to anyone which I absolutely adore and find really sexy, he is so secure within himself without being arrogant.

I chose the opposite on purpose, I didn't want, nor could I live with, a man like my father.

My husband is the complete opposite of my father...chalk and cheese

Fuck no!

My dad is a sociopath. My husband is not. They couldnt be more different. He is however, very similar to my mum.

Not really. They may have a couple of similarities but it ends there. Dad has autism, DH very probably has ADHD though he was never officially diagnosed. I also have autism, so we can be polar opposites in some respects

My dad drives me up the wall most of the time and we don't really speak to each other so I couldn't stand being married to someone like him! I don't know my mum does it, tbh.

My DH has the exact same sense of humour as my dad 🤦‍♀️ they are both quiet guys as well.

No, not at all. I hadn’t really thought about it before, so not an intentional decision, but probably for the best!

Not at all. My personality is like my dad’s- which is something I am trying to overcome.

The absolute opposite thank fuck.

My dad's a controlling, mentally abusive, misogynistic, twat.

My DH is a patient, generous, thoughtful, feminist.

Luckily for me I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandparents growing up, and close family friends who had a father like my DH. So I was able to see what a caring, kind, husband and father should be.

Completely the opposite. One is sociable, outgoing, generous; the other doesn't do small talk or show much of an interest.

I'll let you decide which I married

There are similarities both in the same professional field, both very practical, both very hardworking but my father was a very hands off father and misogynistic and he very much played favourites with his kids and DH on the other hand is extremely fair with the kids and extremely family oriented. I think I definitely used my father as a guide for my husband, I looked for his good qualities and tried to avoid his bad one like the plague. My father was also very good to my mother and I learned to expect that from men so that has been very helpful too.

Funnily enough I was talking about this just the other day. My DH has many positive qualities but he is really just capable of dealing with emotions. He would tell you he basically doesn't have them! So dismissive of his own and robot-like in some respects. Kind to me when I'm upset but in 12 years I've never seen him upset and being truly honest about it. It's a bit sad really imo. My dad was so like this - a lovely man but my god was he avoidant. He could not tolerate expressions of emotion. So somehow I have married someone with a strong link to my dad in one sense.

Thankfully not. My Dad was/is verbally aggressive, frightened us as kids, didn't really like women despite not really being able to cope without the strong women in his life. I think he resented us kids as he only really wanted my mum. He wasn't really a family man.

My partner is so very different. It took me two marriages and divorces to men similar to my Dad to realise where I was going wrong.

No. My dad is very gregarious. He is bad at things mechanical & likes luxurious things. He likes puzzles & reads a lot. He loves team sports, as player & fan. Plays poker. Never cooks or bakes.

DH is almost shy & only likes limited social circles. He builds things and falls asleep 2 minutes into reading a book. He does & follows individual sport. Never gambles. He bakes things.

They are both tall, skinny, fat eating, sporty, are things they do share.

No, very different. My dad is extremely selfish and self absorbed and thought the household should revolve around him (and it did), that women are put on the earth to serve men and children should be seen and not heard. Very preoccupied with how things look/ what people think at the expense of all else. For all those reasons I was adamant as a child/teen that I would never marry as I felt I'd rather be on my own than live like that.

However, my husband is totally different.

The only similarities are that they are both champions of fidelity for men and women both (and I agree).

My husband is crap with money though (Dad isn't but in the other extreme, miserly). But I take charge of that aspect haha!

I have realised since our son was diagnosed with HF asd that I have traits too and my dad very much so. I've sort of come to understand his black and white thinking (to some extent). Conversely my H is as neurotypical as they come and he's a great balance for me and my funny ways.

Yes and no.... they do share a lot of interests (history, politics and philosophy), both of them like to talk in length about these topics though they probably would not agree 100% of these topics if they had opportunity to do so. They both have the tendency to debate/commentate every single movie, tv show, or book that we enjoy together

They are very different in values though. Fiancé unlike my father is extremely faithful, values responsibility and hard work and places a great importance on the family unit. I think in that way I've purposely chosen completely different to my father and much more like my grandfathers

Yes. Not carbon copies but there are some key similarities. They have similar values and beliefs and both are intelligent and funny. They are both very gregarious and friendly...people really like them. They are both kind, genuine men. Oh and they both love dogs!

No. But I am very like my Dad

Yes, they all leave when I’m pregnant

A bit. Both alpha males. Both entrepreneurial. Both like being their own boss.
My dads a total womanizer though. My DH isn’t (at least I don’t think he is). I’m only his second relationship.

Not at all, thankfully!

As he has got older, dh is getting more and more like my Dad. Dd is only 10, but I’m already dreading DH’s speech at her wedding. I can see it now - dh chuckling away at his own jokes while everyone else has this expression on their face . Just like my dad at my wedding. Both lovely men though so I think I chose wisely.

There are a few similarities eg hands on with the dc, supportive, believe in me etc. My dad & I have a good relationship & he was a good dad but not a fantastic husband. He was very much a workaholic so I steered away from men with similar traits, jobs. My mum had to give up a lot to facilitate his career but they raised me to be very independent.