To make DS eat xmas dinner?

[Brmmbrmmm]

My DS is a fussy eater, he will eat a roast dinner once a week at home but it is very limited, meat, mash and 1 veg.
We have xmas dinner at a family members house each year and he always complains he doesnt want it and eats very little, I have never forced him but I always encourage him to eat it as it's one of the most healthiest meals I can actually get him to eat and I've always thought along the lines if I tell him he doesnt have to eat xmas dinner he will start refusing the normal roasts I do etc.

But I've thought to myself at the end of the day xmas food is one of the things you look forward to most on the day isn't it? IABU for wanting him to eat something he doesnt massively enjoy surely. I should let him choose what he wants to eat for one day?

What do others do if they have similar children? Everyone else in my household loves a roast and he doesn't complain when its just a normal roast!

@TheStripes

We gave our fussy eater dd the option. Either eat the healthy meal we cook or leave it and go hungry that evening and have the meal reheated for breakfast.

Parenting like this is one of the major causes behind eating disorders in adults today.

Yes and utter misery at best. Imagine coming down to breakfast to be faced again with a meal you hate. How miserable.

Is op coming back??

@Moistmolly

We gave our fussy eater dd the option. Either eat the healthy meal we cook or leave it and go hungry that evening and have the meal reheated for breakfast.

After kicking up a fuss about how we were going to be reported for making her eat healthy food and and missing a meal, she's tried the food, discovered that she now likes a lot of the stuff we can cook and is happy to try new things.

This is shitty parenting. Hopefully a troll.

OP in answer to your question, I agree with other posters who say don't stress. Some people really don't care about food. Just give him a small portion of what you think he might eat and leave it at that.

@Moistmolly how old was she and would you have actually made her eat it for breakfast though?

@Pumperthepumper given how many times o was told to do this and similar with DS, probably not

I'd tell him that he can take it or leave it, but what he absolutely cannot do (under pain of terrible retribution) is moan about it. Either eat up or shut up!

My son (now 14) hates roast dinner. So on Christmas Day I make him a nice burger, chips and a side of pigs in blankets! I just feel Christmas is about family and enjoyment - why would I make him eat something he doesn’t want?

But then again, it is just me and my children at home every Christmas - so easier for me to do as I choose for him!

My son has chicken nuggets and chips for Christmas dinner.

The force feeders are also on the ‘smacking didn’t do me any harm’ bandwagon I’m betting.
The breakfast reheated if you don’t eat it is despicable

Isn't the best part of a roast the roast potatoes? Mash???

Slightly missing the point! You don't say how old he is, but if you're visiting relatives, it's not really reasonable to expect the host to make a separate meal.
Would be fair enough if a genuine reason (vegetarian, coeliac) but not because he's a fussy eater and it's stuff that he'd usually eat.
If you are at home, not really fair on you to be making separate meals - is he old enough to sort his own meal out once you've finished in the kitchen.

@Brmmbrmmm

Yes it is just a normal roast with Turkey instead of the usual chicken which is what we normally have. He doesn't have any of the extras on xmas day just the meat mash and veg but he complains about it whereas at home he'd just eat it.

I wouldn't make anything of it at all - he gets to choose what he eats from what is available.

But I would definitely tell him that complaining about food when you are in someone else's house is extremely rude and you will not tolerate that under any circumstances.

We gave our fussy eater dd the option. Either eat the healthy meal we cook or leave it and go hungry that evening and have the meal reheated for breakfast

@Moistmolly that's a terrible approach

We have roast potatoes and mashed
Potatoes these days and it’s very good!!! Mash works so well with gravy and the trimmings.

All the ‘mash with a roast’ haters should try it!!!

“Making” your DS eat is verging on abusive. Dish up using tureens and let him eat what he wants, not what you want him to eat.

Nobody volunteers to starve them-self to death.

It’s just a regular roast, if he doesn’t like Turkey, maybe consider cooking him something he does like. My vegetarian husband doesn’t eat Turkey, he’s not starved to death yet.

Another vote for let him eat the bits he likes and don’t mention the rest.

Our youngest was a very fussy eater. At one stage it was down to meat and 2 veg type meals and nothing touching! The GP advised to not make it into a big deal so long as she could get enough calories from healthy foods. She advised that we just let her help herself to the bits of a meal she would eat and not worry too much about variety. We’ve only rarely cooked completely separate meals for her, tending to deconstruct what we’re cooking for the rest of the family instead. E.g. pasta, sauce, veg and cooked chicken would all be prepared and served separately.

It’s a myth that a fussy child won’t starve. DD is never hungry and she is still ever so slightly underweight.

I agree with the PP who said it’s a sensory thing. DD is funny about seams/waistbands/fabrics too.

She is 10 now and more picky than fussy, so she’s made food progress. She’ll try pretty much any food now, although she doesn’t usually eat more than a few bites of any meal unless it’s something she really likes. Ironically, given this thread, roast dinners are her absolute favourite.

Ours used to be fussy about it, and still are about some aspects of it. We just offer each dish round the table and get them to try to have two or three things - usually turkey, PIBs, stuffing, mash and carrots - they don't like red cabbage, roast potatoes or purple sprouting broccoli or Brussels or chestnuts. So they get something at least! Some adults round the table don't have every single dish either.

We gave our fussy eater dd the option. Either eat the healthy meal we cook or leave it and go hungry that evening and have the meal reheated for breakfast.
That is unbelievably nasty. My great grandmother did this to my mother when she was young and she hated the old bag forever afterwards.

He should sit at the table with everyone else. Turkey dinner offers quite a range of food so let him choose which bits he wants to eat. If he only wants to eat potato, fine. But there will be no alternative menu.

@Moistmolly
I hope you're joking?

Let him serve himself the bits of xmas dinner he likes and not have any of the rest. He'll not starve and he might surprise you by eating more than you think he will.

Sounds to me as though he likes the extra attention he gets for refusing to eat it. If he starts to complain say ‘fine, someone else can have your share then’ and start a conversation with sometelse. If he keeps complaining, tell him he’s being rude to the person who cooked.

I think you should come down on the complaining like a ton of bricks, though. So long as he's quiet about it, what he eats is up to him.

I'd let him eat the bits he likes but the key thing to teach him is not to make a fuss about it. Just be polite and discreet and learn to say thank you but no to anything he is offered but doesn't want.

If he makes a fuss it draws attention to what he is or isn't eating and is rude to the host/hostess.

Can he not just have the elements of the dinner he likes? The veg and meat? Or take a little lunch for him?

I wouldn't fight with him over his on Xmas day as it'll ruin it for everyone and most importantly for him. BUT if he likes the components outside of Xmas then if encourage him to eat them still.

Is his fussiness a sensory thing or more of a stubbornness?