To make DS eat xmas dinner?

[Brmmbrmmm]

My DS is a fussy eater, he will eat a roast dinner once a week at home but it is very limited, meat, mash and 1 veg.
We have xmas dinner at a family members house each year and he always complains he doesnt want it and eats very little, I have never forced him but I always encourage him to eat it as it's one of the most healthiest meals I can actually get him to eat and I've always thought along the lines if I tell him he doesnt have to eat xmas dinner he will start refusing the normal roasts I do etc.

But I've thought to myself at the end of the day xmas food is one of the things you look forward to most on the day isn't it? IABU for wanting him to eat something he doesnt massively enjoy surely. I should let him choose what he wants to eat for one day?

What do others do if they have similar children? Everyone else in my household loves a roast and he doesn't complain when its just a normal roast!

@MrsKoala

I chucked a variety of things on the table with zero expectations.

But I assume those were things you knew people liked?

Well this was from weaning so no I didnt know what they liked nor did I care really. Its a variety of foods 🤷‍♀️

I just pretended not to care if they ate 1 green bean or 10.
They usually balanced it out.

Weren’t they starving tho if they only ate one green bean?

He is probably complaining about the fuss surrounding this dinner. I'd just let him choose what he wants to eat and not comment on his food again.

I wouldn’t care how much or how little he ate of it but I wouldn’t tolerate him complaining about it at his age.

My 11 year old is a fussy eater. At Christmas we put things in bowls/on plates and we all help ourselves so actually he looks forward to the meal as he can fill up on meat and gets to skip the vegetables that I normally insist on the rest of the year! About 3 years ago my husband did insist that he tried a Brussel sprout and he still talks about it now!

DD (12) has already asked for mac and cheese for Christmas Day. So DH will make cheese sauce for the cauliflower cheese and put some aside for her.

Her loss imo

@MrsKoala

Weren’t they starving tho if they only ate one green bean?

Obviously not 😂

Im of the opinion that toddlers actually regulate quite well.
Sometimes they wolf food down, sometimes pick at it.
It evens out.
I just asked if they had finished and cleared up

We gave our fussy eater dd the option. Either eat the healthy meal we cook or leave it and go hungry that evening and have the meal reheated for breakfast

My grandparents used this approach with my father, it’s given him lifelong issues with food, and at 62 he’s now diabetic and 12 stone overweight so I wouldn’t be advising anyone to do this to be honest.

All I insisted on was manners.
Absolutely no whining, yuk or comments on others food choices.
That included MIL

We always serve family style too, but ours just eat nothing. It’s fine for one day if they don’t complain after that they are hungry. But after a few days you start to worry!

@MrsKoala

We always serve family style too, but ours just eat nothing. It’s fine for one day if they don’t complain after that they are hungry. But after a few days you start to worry!

They dont eat even though they are hungry??

I thought my kids they can eat or not eat, I don’t mind, but Ai don’t ever want faces/complaints/being told certain things are disgusting

I even told my fussy DS a stock phrase to use at relatives/friend’s houses :” thanks, that was delicious but I am not really hungry I think, sorry Zi could not finish it”

This has worked so well

He was allowed a bowl of cereal later if still hungry

This took the pressure off completely and he is now actually a real foodie

How old is DS?

He's 13?! I thought you were posting about a toddler.

I'd have no patience with this and tell him to eat what he likes from the selection of meat and veg and to get in with it.

I’d have Christmas at home and let him have whatever he likes for lunch.

I’d not want Christmas memories to be tainted with meals you don’t enjoy.

FGS.. please don't force people to eat things they don't enjoy, no matter what age they are.

I am another with lifelong food issues and weight problems as a result of mealtimes being a battleground and horrifically stressful.

Surely Christmas dinner should provide something for EVERYONE to enjoy, and whilst its not reasonable to be providing a curry for one person, a chinese stir fry for another, duck a l'orange for a third etc etc... its not hard to make sure theres something for everyone!

There’s nothing in a Christmas dinner that my children hate that I’d make them eat. Both eat turkey, love roast potatoes, carrots and peas. DD loves sprouts and Yorkshire pudding (yes I know it’s not trad), DS doesn’t but he likes gravy which she doesn’t like. They are served with the bits they like, asked if they want to try stuffing or pigs in blankets etc if not fine. But they don’t get a totally separate meal that bears no resemblance to the meal the rest of us are eating.

@WiddlinDiddlin

FGS.. please don't force people to eat things they don't enjoy, no matter what age they are.

I am another with lifelong food issues and weight problems as a result of mealtimes being a battleground and horrifically stressful.

Surely Christmas dinner should provide something for EVERYONE to enjoy, and whilst its not reasonable to be providing a curry for one person, a chinese stir fry for another, duck a l'orange for a third etc etc... its not hard to make sure theres something for everyone!

The thing is there is a difference between enjoying and unable to tolerate. My DH wouldnt eat anything that wasnt on his favourites list. Weeell Im afraid sometimes its pasta pesto night if Im half dead and exhausted. Nah its not my favourite either . We call it " it will do" night. Sometimes it will do or you are served something that isnt your favourite thing and you crack on with it. Very different to feel like throwing up at the thought of a food against it being a bit boring.

There’s nothing in a Christmas dinner that my children hate that I’d make them eat.

But they don’t get a totally separate meal that bears no resemblance to the meal the rest of us are eating.

But what if they didn’t like any of the components of a Christmas dinner/roast that you were serving?

@MrsKoala

There’s nothing in a Christmas dinner that my children hate that I’d make them eat.

But they don’t get a totally separate meal that bears no resemblance to the meal the rest of us are eating.

But what if they didn’t like any of the components of a Christmas dinner/roast that you were serving?

Don’t know. They’ve never been allowed to totally refuse everything on their plate - and they know that whilst some things may not be their favourite they are however perfectly acceptable and to get on with it. They get their favourites another day in the week.

Definitely give your son a variety of foods he likes.

My husband loves roasts and would eat them every week. I am not a fan of them and never have been. We usually have them at his parents’ house and I make sure not to eat breakfast so whatever it is I eat even though I don’t particularly enjoy it. I’m not a fan of turkey unless it is juicy and it never is. Food is always lukewarm and you end up warming it up with the hot gravy. I grin and bear it and look forward to dessert. This year we’re staying at home for obvious reasons and I’m having what I want for a change (lamb shanks) and looking forward to it and my husband is having what he wants (turkey) and our boys will have whatever they want.

@MrsKoala

There’s nothing in a Christmas dinner that my children hate that I’d make them eat.

But they don’t get a totally separate meal that bears no resemblance to the meal the rest of us are eating.

But what if they didn’t like any of the components of a Christmas dinner/roast that you were serving?

Your children do though? Chicken legs and pigs in blankets?? Fine they would have that , some bread etc and then have pudding.

I dont understand why you would offer left over takeaway instead of letting them join in.
Its sort of self defeating in a way.

why are you over thinking this? You offer him the dinner on the day - he eats a bit or not. I don't understand the angst. Whether he eats it or not will make no difference to his long term health. My dd is exceptionally fussy. On occasions, I offer and she eats or not. If she doesn't eat I make sure I have other stuff to offer later.

Christmas is for children. Let him what he wants

I’d expect him to sit at the table.
I’d expect him to be courteous.
I wouldn’t cajole or persuade him.
I wouldn’t encourage even.
That’s what there is eat it or not. Chances are he’s eaten too much chocolate by lunchtime anyway.