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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it selfish for my husband and I to go to Japan with our 1 year old?

223 replies

DisneyBaby · 27/11/2020 09:14

My husband and I have always planned to go to Japan in May 2021 from when I found out I was pregnant last year. It’s somewhere we have always wanted to visit and it’s pretty expensive so we thought it would be good to go before our daughter is 2 as it would be easier to do it whilst we only have 1 child rather than 2 or 3 plus we can save on a separate plane ticket as she’ll be on our laps. We figure that from a couple of years time we will probably only be able to European holidays for a while if we have several kids so want to get one last big one in. Our planned itinerary in Japan is full of loads of things that she’ll enjoy as much as us e.g Tokyo Disney, Universal Studios, going on a bullet train and time on the beach in Okinawa, as well as some sightseeing and museums etc, lots of different sights, smells for her to take in and experience. I know the flight may be a challenge and also the time difference but other than that I can’t see anything wrong with it...
My parents seems to disapprove of us going. I’m not sure whether this is because of the long flight or because they don’t deem this to be a baby/toddler friendly destination or possibly because of covid too. They haven’t said why, but every time I talk about it I can see them shake their head a little bit, see the disapproval on their faces and they change the subject.
Are we crazy or selfish to go to a long haul destination with a toddler? Or am I right in thinking this is a good time to go?? What do you think?

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 29/11/2020 15:36

Family holidays are important and totally worth it

Yes, when the kids can remember them. Before that, you may as well stay in the UK/Europe.

I really can't see the point of spending all that money on a trip you can't make the most of because you constantly have to worry about a toddler, when you could wait a few years and take a child who will be old enough to take an interest and enjoy it, and more to the point, remember the experience.

Soontobe60 · 29/11/2020 15:45

Such a long haul flight with a baby - are you mad??? This alone would put me off. At 1, your baby wont appreciate any of the things you've mentioned - going to an amusement park where all it will do is sit in a pram, you wont be able to go on any rides, sounds like a nightmare. They wont understand sightseeing and museums until they're at least 3. Yes, Japan does have baby friendly facilities, it doesn’t mean your baby will have fun there.

Heyahun · 29/11/2020 15:56

The trip isn’t really all about the baby though is it @Soontobe60

The baby won’t give a shit if it’s in its pram and sightseeing - a 3 year old would be much more difficult to take on the trip tbh as it would want to run around and could actively complain about the activities planned for the day

They can go on the rides if they take turns!

Loads of people do long haul with babies ffs - it’s obviously not something you want to do and that’s fine!

To me the long haul flight is just one day and if it goes well great - if it’s a nightmare - then it’s just one bad day in your life and then it’s over and you move on

Everyone is different - and it’s fine to not want to do long haul with babies if you don’t want to - other people are more relaxed about things like that!

Lightwindows · 29/11/2020 16:53

I don't think it's selfish but I wouldn't book any expensive holidays until life is starting to return to normal in case of quarantine restrictions/social distancing still being in place. You may end up losing a lot of money if you have to cancel. Why don't you go in the Autumn of 2021? Autumn is a lovely time to visit Japan.
This is probably why your parents roll their eyes when they change the subject , they think you are being naive because of the pandemic.
I studied in Japan and would love to take my children there. But personally I would wait until they are old enough to remember .
I would go self catering /air bnb though. Hard work in a hotel with a toddler. The food in Japan is great but if they're a fussy eater you will need your own cooking facilities.

Heyahun · 29/11/2020 17:03

Most flights booked at the moment you can change the travel date for free so I wouldn’t be too worried about booking then having to change plans because of restrictions / Covid

naomi81 · 13/12/2020 19:15

Personally I would go whilst they are little anything above 18 months would be hard work. Life is short so I would just crack on and enjoy it!

Renee1982 · 17/02/2022 12:21

Hi there,

I am looking to go on holiday in the UK for the first time with my baby boy in May/June who will be 5 months by then. Would you recommend any cottage type websites where I can book my holiday? thanks

SexyLittleNosferatu · 17/02/2022 12:30

I was hoping the OP had bumped the zombie to tell us she went and it was fab Sad

ABCDEF1234 · 17/02/2022 12:51

Having taken a 1 year old to portugal we found ourselves sat on the runway for an hour before set off, I cannot think of anything worse than a long distance flight. I quickly became aware that a child sat on your knee is a nightmare for everyone involved

CheeryTreeBlossom · 17/02/2022 12:58

@SexyLittleNosferatu

I was hoping the OP had bumped the zombie to tell us she went and it was fab Sad
They've still not opened borders, in fact tightened back up in response to Omicron so OP definitely won't have gone. We have been postponing a trip since 2020 that would have been with a 1 year old but she'll be nearly 4 if it even goes ahead.

We took her at 9months on a long haul flight with zero guilt, was the only way for her to see extended family. She was absolutely fine. Given the lockdowns that followed I am so glad we did it at the time and will be excited when we can do it again.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2022 13:00

The nightlife in Japan is so fascinating. If you’ve never been, and may never return, I’d be annoyed not to experience it. but there's plenty to do in Japan. Surely never going because you can't enjoy the nightlife vs going and enjoying the rest of it is no contest??

TakeMe2Insanity · 17/02/2022 13:10

I can’t believe you are having doubts!

We did it wihen dc was 2 and a half. In hindsight I would have done it when younger as it would be easier for puschchair/sing/back carrier time. As it was he was a reluctant walker in crowded areas and happy to sit in a pushchair when busy. He adored disney sea etc, unio park even some of the museums were amazing.

For the flights we broke it up as much as possible: london to helsinki (overnight in a hotel day out and night flight) to middle east, spent a couple of days there on to japan same on the way back.

Food wise, we didn’t bother with restaurants as dc was not a “let me eat nicely in public” child, so we ate from konbinis, found a food hall underneath tokyo station which was next to the hotel and experienced food that way.

If you are feeling brave highly recommend Seoul at that age too.

TakeMe2Insanity · 17/02/2022 13:11

Ugh zombie!

mangoontoast · 17/02/2022 13:23

@Renee1982

Hi there,

I am looking to go on holiday in the UK for the first time with my baby boy in May/June who will be 5 months by then. Would you recommend any cottage type websites where I can book my holiday? thanks

You need to start your own thread. Everyone will just read and respond to the OP and will never even see your post.
SeasonFinale · 17/02/2022 13:25

Go! Enjoy!

konasana · 17/02/2022 13:44

@DisneyBaby did you go to Japan in the end?

Heytheredemons · 17/02/2022 13:47

Good luck getting in OP. My husband and I have been trying to rebook since our month long trip was cancelled in April 2020.

This is the current status on the government travel website. It is still closed to tourists and even for those that do live there 37 of the 40 something prefecture are closed (includinh major cities like tokyo) and there is a ban on public gatherings.

Entry to Japan

Foreign nationals (including British nationals) who do not have existing resident status are not permitted to enter Japan for any purpose, other than in exceptional circumstances.

You can find a description of exceptional circumstances on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs website.

This guidance also applies to foreign nationals in possession of visas issued recently who have not yet entered Japan.

Further details are available on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs website, or via Japan’s Visa Information Hotline on +44 (0)800 041 8412. Alternatively, contact your nearest Japanese Embassy for more information, including if you believe you qualify for exceptional circumstances.

FirewomanSam · 17/02/2022 13:58

I know a couple who did a big trip like this on every one of her maternity leaves. It sounded bloody fabulous, I say go for it!

Sunshine847 · 17/02/2022 13:59

We took an under 1 to Japan and had a fantastic time. Did everything we wanted to and will go back again another time.

We even did an evening robot show and our son had ear defenders and slept through it all.

We found very child friendly and had a fantastic time.

FirewomanSam · 17/02/2022 14:00

Oh bloody hell, zombie thread.

I hope you got to go somewhere, OP!

Original poster
DisneyBaby · 17/02/2022 14:11

No unfortunately we never got to Japan! The borders are still closed I believe?!

We went to Dubai instead and had a fantastic time! We found travelling with a baby/toddler not too difficult at all, just a little less time to chill and relax... Smile

OP posts:
Heytheredemons · 17/02/2022 14:21

Sorry, OP didn't realise this was a zombie. I got all excited as someone else was looking to go to Japan. I hope you get there one day when the borders reopen.

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/02/2022 14:49

@Soontobe60

Such a long haul flight with a baby - are you mad??? This alone would put me off. At 1, your baby wont appreciate any of the things you've mentioned - going to an amusement park where all it will do is sit in a pram, you wont be able to go on any rides, sounds like a nightmare. They wont understand sightseeing and museums until they're at least 3. Yes, Japan does have baby friendly facilities, it doesn’t mean your baby will have fun there.
@Soontobe60 but the baby’s parents will appreciate them
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