Is it selfish for my husband and I to go to Japan with our 1 year old?

[DisneyBaby]

My husband and I have always planned to go to Japan in May 2021 from when I found out I was pregnant last year. It’s somewhere we have always wanted to visit and it’s pretty expensive so we thought it would be good to go before our daughter is 2 as it would be easier to do it whilst we only have 1 child rather than 2 or 3 plus we can save on a separate plane ticket as she’ll be on our laps. We figure that from a couple of years time we will probably only be able to European holidays for a while if we have several kids so want to get one last big one in. Our planned itinerary in Japan is full of loads of things that she’ll enjoy as much as us e.g Tokyo Disney, Universal Studios, going on a bullet train and time on the beach in Okinawa, as well as some sightseeing and museums etc, lots of different sights, smells for her to take in and experience. I know the flight may be a challenge and also the time difference but other than that I can’t see anything wrong with it...
My parents seems to disapprove of us going. I’m not sure whether this is because of the long flight or because they don’t deem this to be a baby/toddler friendly destination or possibly because of covid too. They haven’t said why, but every time I talk about it I can see them shake their head a little bit, see the disapproval on their faces and they change the subject.
Are we crazy or selfish to go to a long haul destination with a toddler? Or am I right in thinking this is a good time to go?? What do you think?

@DisneyBaby

I'm not pregnant ladies, our little girl is nearly 10 months, by the time we go she'll be 15 months Sorry if that was confusing!

Go for it then!

And watch Giri/Haji

So how old will the baby be? I would go with a small baby (who you can have in a buggy or sling and who is happy to still nap a lot), but not with a mobile toddler. You'll spend the entire time child-wrangling. Honestly the holiday we had with a 3 month old was the easiest ever. 1.5yo - nightmare.

Go for it! Take a carrier and a folding pushchair that has a strap to go over your shoulder. I would also seriously consider an overnight flight.

So envious - can’t wait to go back to Japan!

I’d be surprised if Japan is accepting foreigners in 5 months. There are lots of knowledgeable Japan- based posters on the Flyer Talk forum who will have more insight to the travel situation.

Oh sorry cross post- I personally would then wait until all your children are big enough to enjoy it. Japan is not going anywhere. Or maybe it's just me, but at 15 months the holidays were same relentless childcare, just in a different place.

I would still say don’t do it OP- toddlers are less portable than babies !

Again with the caveat that if you can afford for the holiday to be a disaster then fair enough give it a go.

I always found holidays a nightmare before 4 - same shit different place but with none of the convenience of being at home. Even Cornwall with 18 month old DS nearly finished me off! I think it depends on what type of travellers you are, I found it frustrating not being able to enjoy any aspect of a holiday properly because you’re still parenting 24/7!

I would think it would depend a lot on the temperament of your wee one (and you!)
We went to New Zealand when my DS was 15 months. Not by choice, for a family wedding. The flights were a mixed bag - absolutely terrible on the way out, totally fine on the way back. But DS loves routine, found jet lag hard, basically didn’t sleep very well the 3 weeks we were there. He’d also just started walking so was harder to contain. Anyway, for me, that really hindered my enjoyment of the trip as I knew he wasn’t having much fun. But, if you and your DD are more easy going/flexible then absolutely go for it!

Do you think by May 2021 you will be allowed to travel to Japan? It's only 6 months and while a lot can change, who knows if they will change that fast.
You say you will wait to March/April to book which is very sensible.
There might be rules in place that people have to have a COVID vaccine to be able to fly. Airlines are talking about this already. I'm afraid I don't really believe the government projections about how fast they can vaccinate everyone. It's all speculation from me of course, but if you think about the sheer numbers of people in the priority groups as set out by the government, younger people like you are going to be way down the list for vaccination and will have to wait before you can be vaccinated.

I'm just saying this so you don't get too excited about your trip of a lifetime and then have to postpone and are very disappointed.
I don't think it's selfish to take your baby with you. If you want to do it and can manage the baby on the plane, in the hotel etcetc then no reason why not. Just hang fire a while to see what happens about COVID.

I went to Japan with a just turned two year old. I would reconsider that saving on the plane ticket as it’s a very long time to have a child on your lap!

Nope not selfish at all, go for it

Oh it's an amazing country. I spent 6 months there when I was 18 (back in 1990!). It really is like Lost In Translation. I was modelling there. In fact, I was listening to the latest Gorillaz track 'The Lost Chord' with Leee John and remembering my driver, Hideki, taking me to jobs and castings all over Tokyo, always playing Imagination on cassette. Good times.
The flight's a long one, but oh it's so worth it, OP.
Go!
And if it's of any reassurance, at 18, I didn't set foot in one single night club, can you believe it? I was working my tail off and any spare time I had was spent going all over the place to explore the actual country. I think I was too tired to go clubbing, tbh. They worked us hard.

There's nothing like the shrines and temples of Kyoto. I'd love to go back with my own kids in a heartbeat. It's a once in a lifetime place, Japan is.

Oh my god, @TheVanguardSix I love that film!

Japan is my son’s dream destination so we’re planning a trip there too, as soon as allowed.

We’ve always paid for a seat on long haul when ours were under 2 years, it’s hell if not. The flights are usually about £400, I’d get her one.

I would go on the trip but child free! Can GP babysit?

I wouldn't say selfish, OP, but don't kid yourself that 'Japan is full of loads of things that she’ll enjoy as much as us e.g Tokyo Disney, Universal Studios, going on a bullet train and time on the beach in Okinawa, as well as some sightseeing and museums etc, lots of different sights, smells for her to take in and experience.' A baby may or may not like a sandy beach but will probably have no interest in any of that beyond being warm, safe, fed and spending time with you. That shouldn't discourage your from taking her to a safe country like Japan.

Good luck.

With the time difference jet-lag will be hell for the first few days and it will be a long flight with a toddler on your lap.

Will it be the right time to see the cherry blossom?

Do it! Like everyone else has said, Japan is super friendly for kids and you'll have a wonderful time.

Can I make a suggestion though? On the flights, book seats apart from each other (one adult with the baby) so one of you gets some sleep and can navigate the airport and journey home at either end. It's not fun to land and have to get home with two over tired adults and a kid in tow, much better if one of you is refreshed and able to take the strain.

Good idea easier to travel with a baby...but you don't need to pick child friendly places eg Disney as a baby will have no clue about it...go if you want to see it.... but really young children just want to be with carers and doing simple things in my experience....
Get a decent lightweight pushchair that goes flat if possible..
Sling for places like temples/ hillier areas..
I would think about what sort of things you want to see or do and maybe dial down quantity

Do it. Then report back on how fab it was

go but shes not going to remembe disney my sister went at 3 and barely remembers anything

Assuming OP lives in UK,
I have often done long haul with toddlers (my family live far away).
I get bad jetlag anyway.
I think you are nuts to consider it for a holiday.
Due to jetlag & constant baby needs. If you have an active crawler, walker, they won't enjoy being in a backpack all day. You will need to stop lots to let them out.
Also, there may be cancellations, we don't know how aviation will be doing, what travel will be realistic in May 2021.
But rest is non-issue.

Colleague was part of a family group, 5 adults, 2 toddlers (age 15m & 3yrs) who went to Japan few years ago. Colleague said it was very embarrassing how noisy his small children were & how perfectly behaved the small Japanese children were. The 15m old was very lively at all times, especially on flight, and their sleep was totally screwed. But otherwise the Japanese were wonderfully gracious. It was very warm, they brought the wrong clothing.

Travelled extensively by plane with small children (under one and two). Long haul to Malaysia, Australia and Thailand. Never really had any issues and neither did the kids.

Selfishness is when you think only about yourself and do something that causes hurt or pain to someone else.

How is a holiday being selfish?