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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it selfish for my husband and I to go to Japan with our 1 year old?

223 replies

DisneyBaby · 27/11/2020 09:14

My husband and I have always planned to go to Japan in May 2021 from when I found out I was pregnant last year. It’s somewhere we have always wanted to visit and it’s pretty expensive so we thought it would be good to go before our daughter is 2 as it would be easier to do it whilst we only have 1 child rather than 2 or 3 plus we can save on a separate plane ticket as she’ll be on our laps. We figure that from a couple of years time we will probably only be able to European holidays for a while if we have several kids so want to get one last big one in. Our planned itinerary in Japan is full of loads of things that she’ll enjoy as much as us e.g Tokyo Disney, Universal Studios, going on a bullet train and time on the beach in Okinawa, as well as some sightseeing and museums etc, lots of different sights, smells for her to take in and experience. I know the flight may be a challenge and also the time difference but other than that I can’t see anything wrong with it...
My parents seems to disapprove of us going. I’m not sure whether this is because of the long flight or because they don’t deem this to be a baby/toddler friendly destination or possibly because of covid too. They haven’t said why, but every time I talk about it I can see them shake their head a little bit, see the disapproval on their faces and they change the subject.
Are we crazy or selfish to go to a long haul destination with a toddler? Or am I right in thinking this is a good time to go?? What do you think?

OP posts:
Taikoo · 27/11/2020 12:12

I'll be amazed if Japan is open for tourism in May 2021.

And they need to cancel them Olympics too because that's not going to happen either.
Things might be better in 2022 but I wouldn't hold my breath.
Its a pity because Japan is amazing.

Heyahun · 27/11/2020 12:16

omg yes go - we were meant to go this year in April - just the 2 of us!

Now i'm expecting a baby in Feb - so we plan to go in September (covid depending of course)

We plan on doing a lot of travel with our baby tbh

Don't get why it's selfish or what the issue is ??

Alethiometrical · 27/11/2020 12:23

My husband and I have always planned to go to Japan in May 2021 from when I found out I was pregnant last year

Go, go, go! Sounds fantastic!

Kokosrieksts · 27/11/2020 12:24

@Kissthepastrychef that’s just your experience. I was quite worried taking my 20month old on a 5 hour flight for the first time. She was sat on my lap no problems, watching Peppa, playing with sticker books and at one point fell asleep. No crying or wanting to escape and she’s an active and demanding one. So it’s good to warn the OP, but it might also go very smoothly for her.

ReggaetonLente · 27/11/2020 12:24

We are moving there next month with a 2yo so i hope its okay 🤣

Wnikat · 27/11/2020 12:33

We travelled loads with our first. It's fine and absolutely better to do it now before you have 2 or 3 when it's not worth the faff. But no point going to child friendly places like theme parks for her sake, she'll be too young to appreciate it. Though if you want to go for you own sakes then crack on.

Kissthepastrychef · 27/11/2020 12:35

that’s just your experience

That's all anyone can give, including you

TicTacTwo · 27/11/2020 12:37

Japan is child friendly- very clean, little Covid etc Havr fun Smile

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 27/11/2020 12:38

Nothing would persuade me to get on a 12 hour flight with a toddler who doesn't have their own seat, and will be too big for the bassinet thing.

But if you are up for it....good luck and enjoy yourselves and take no notice of your parents.

Parker231 · 27/11/2020 12:38

We travelled long haul with DT’s from when they were tiny. They just fitted into our plans. Before they are walking is really easy.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 27/11/2020 12:44

5 hours is very very different from 12 hours non stop or 15 or 17 hours with a stop.

I have done several of both with Under 2s. Well, up to 11 hours flying. V different from 5 which was a doddle in comparison.

Pipandmum · 27/11/2020 12:47

I took my one year old and three year old to Australia. My husband took a sabbatical and it was just the age they were at the time. The flight was tiring but ok. Book a bassinet seat so your baby isn't always in your lap.
However, at one your child won't remember anything, so I wouldn't bother with Disney etc - she'll have a great stimulating experience just going to see what you want to see. I did find that we could only cope with one major outing a day, then the afternoon by the pool or at least something less active (mind you we had two kids). I don't remember nap time being an issue, just evening meals. We had to have them early, which was too early for us adults, and we obviously couldn't go out at night, which was ok but we did feel constrained at times.

Scotinoz · 27/11/2020 12:49

We took 2 toddlers to Japan. We had a great time although saw a very different side of Japan. Which was very interesting.

Children are very transportable when they’re small, and you can take them everywhere.

I’d god 😀

TakeMe2Insanity · 27/11/2020 12:55

We went to Japan when our son was 2 and a half. It was just about doable as we were able to strap him into a pushchair for very busy areas. Busy in Japan is so much busier than in the UK and I’m from London. In hindsight it would have been easier to do when he was younger. We had an amazing time and bizarrely because of his toddler antics we avoided restaurants and ate mainly out of the konbinis, which was perfect for a toddlers lots of random things to try.

At 1 year old we took him to South Korea, we only took a sling and a back carrier. While we were physically having to carry him and his stuff everywhere it was a lot easier to navigate extremely busy areas. He enjoyed it as he could look around from an elevated position.

I’d highly recommend breaking up your flights a day in the ME even if it an actual night in an airside hotel bed makes such a difference to both the baby and you.

You’ll have an amazing time, you’ll also get some experiences only because you have a baby.

Highly recommend taking toddler plug in head phones. I always remember a particularly long flight where after my child had gone to sleep someone elses toddler woke up and played peppa pig loudly for the remaining night flight! Lots of snacks and toys too.

TakeMe2Insanity · 27/11/2020 12:56

@Parker231

We travelled long haul with DT’s from when they were tiny. They just fitted into our plans. Before they are walking is really easy.
This!! Agree 100%
Longdistance · 27/11/2020 12:56

Go for it!
We went on a holiday to Oz when dd was 13mo and I was 9 weeks pg. funnily enough we ended up moving there to live when dd1 was 2 and dd2 was 3mo. Don’t let you having dc dictate to you where you go. Make them portable.

TriflePudding · 27/11/2020 12:57

It's more that some people actually enjoy doing things that are that little bit harder or result in a different experience. Just like some of us enjoy mountain hiking, though we do recognise you are more likely to get blisters that way than if you just relax on a sun lounger

Do bore off with this utterly patronising bollocks!

Some of us have had jobs where we got all the excitement and adventure anyone needs in a lifetime, you know like those exciting and adventurous days spent in war zones, I sure got plenty of blisters then - what jolly japes ! Hmm

KatharinaRosalie · 27/11/2020 13:00

Before they are walking is really easy.

Exactly. Most 15-month olds are very much walking though.

TheSoapyFrog · 27/11/2020 13:01

Personally it sounds like a nightmare to me, but I definitely don't think it's selfish. Not sure how much a 1 year old would get out of Disney or Universal studios though. And you would have to take it in turns to go on rides as one will have to hold the baby.
But I've always wanted to go to Japan as well and it probably would have been easier to go when my twins were babies rather than now they're older.

TheGoogleMum · 27/11/2020 13:02

Japan is amazing i would definitely go as planned or do it in the future. We went before having DD. I would really hate to have a 9 hour flight holding a wriggly 1 year old. I cant help feeling like having a baby to think about would limit what you can do somewhat too, we definitely couldn't have done our trip the same with a baby of any age. We want to go again one day but I'm tempted to wait until DD is a teenager so she can either stay home or enjoy it too!

Cric · 27/11/2020 13:04

We took a 1 year old and 3 year old to Sri Lanka,it was incredible. We then took a 3 and 5 year old to India. We had an amazing time. Lots told us not to but so glad we did.... the kids still talk about it. The youngest doesn't remember Sri Lanka. ENJOY!!!

corythatwas · 27/11/2020 13:06

Some of us have had jobs where we got all the excitement and adventure anyone needs in a lifetime, you know like those exciting and adventurous days spent in war zones, I sure got plenty of blisters then - what jolly japes !

I didn't say you didn't. Just noticing as a fact that the idea that a holiday must be awful if it involves hard work doesn't actually apply to all people. Some people need that level of work on holiday, quite often because they're not getting it elsewhere.

I used to get plenty of blisters and injuries working as a manual labourer on building sites. When I gave up that line of work I missed it and no doubt tried to compensate with more strenuous holidays. That's nothing to do with patronising.

betterNCforthis · 27/11/2020 13:27

Sounds like a dream trip! Hopefully, your child DD travels well. I understand your concerns, but I'd do it!

2bazookas · 27/11/2020 13:29

I think you grossly overestimate what a very small child will enjoy on a trip abroad. And the sress of longhaul flights with her on your lap

girasol · 27/11/2020 13:33

I’ve been to Japan a couple of times before kids and it is the most amazing remarkable country. I would encourage anyone who has the means to go, to go.

Late March/early April is cherry blossom season and is particularly magical. However it is also very busy with increasing numbers of Chinese tourists (plus I think there are some Japanese holidays around then - golden week?) so you should try to book everything well in advance (ie now!). I don’t really know how COVID might affect it all, I would be booking fully refundable hotels though.

You might find flights cheaper on 31 March - fares used to go up on 1 April but I don’t know if that’s still the case.

Agreed it’s much easier to travel with a 1 year old than a toddler. I’m hoping to take my kids in a couple of years when they’re about 8 and 10.

You’ll have a wonderful time if you do manage to go, just be prepared that you’ll want to visit it again! We had such a great time when we went, we went back 18 months later.