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Original poster

Is it selfish for my husband and I to go to Japan with our 1 year old?

223 replies

DisneyBaby · 27/11/2020 09:14

My husband and I have always planned to go to Japan in May 2021 from when I found out I was pregnant last year. It’s somewhere we have always wanted to visit and it’s pretty expensive so we thought it would be good to go before our daughter is 2 as it would be easier to do it whilst we only have 1 child rather than 2 or 3 plus we can save on a separate plane ticket as she’ll be on our laps. We figure that from a couple of years time we will probably only be able to European holidays for a while if we have several kids so want to get one last big one in. Our planned itinerary in Japan is full of loads of things that she’ll enjoy as much as us e.g Tokyo Disney, Universal Studios, going on a bullet train and time on the beach in Okinawa, as well as some sightseeing and museums etc, lots of different sights, smells for her to take in and experience. I know the flight may be a challenge and also the time difference but other than that I can’t see anything wrong with it...
My parents seems to disapprove of us going. I’m not sure whether this is because of the long flight or because they don’t deem this to be a baby/toddler friendly destination or possibly because of covid too. They haven’t said why, but every time I talk about it I can see them shake their head a little bit, see the disapproval on their faces and they change the subject.
Are we crazy or selfish to go to a long haul destination with a toddler? Or am I right in thinking this is a good time to go?? What do you think?

OP posts:
asnugglysnerd · 27/11/2020 11:24

Absolutely go! It sounds like you have thought it through and you'll have a fab time!

InTheLongGrass · 27/11/2020 11:26

Japan is amazing (although the bullet train is so smooth, its actually pretty underwhelming, imo).
Toddlers on planes can be a nightmare.
DO NOT share a seat with her all that way. You will need a seat - to dump child on occasionally, to lift the armrest to give space for her to lie down, to dump 10001 things you need nearby.... You also need the extra space for when food arrives.

Take an excellent sling - both for Japan and for the plane/airport.

I dont think I'd be planning on going in 6 months time tho.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/11/2020 11:31

I wouldnt make a decision till you know what your kid is like. DS would have been awful. He's very routine driven and is miserable if he doesnt get doesn't sleep. DD would be easier, copes much better with changes to routine, short naps etc.

But both my two are pram haters who wont will scream if expected to sit in one (by 1 they also wouldnt have been happy for long in a baby carrier - being immobilized was NOT ok. So that would make this sort of holiday a bit harder.

My friends DS? Fine. He's so placid - he will happily just sit in a pram or carseat for hours with a dummy in his mouth, and doesnt seem to care if he doesnt nap etc.

GabsAlot · 27/11/2020 11:32

dont some airlines charge anyway for over 1's?

Ratatcat · 27/11/2020 11:33

Personally it depends on how much you want to get out of the trip and how likely you are to go again and when you’re thinking about another child.I went away with my eldest at 11m and just before 2. We had a nice time at 2 but found the 11m holiday really hard work and not that much fun. I also did not enjoy a 4 hour flight with her on my knee. A long haul would be quite tough.

We were meant to go away last summer when my second was about 15m. I was actually slightly relieved as I think she’d have been a complete pain but I think next year will feel better for us.

Disney and universal probably won’t be that fun at 15m. If you’re expectations are low I think it’ll be fine but if it’s a dream holiday and there is loads you’d want to do id rethink.

Ratatcat · 27/11/2020 11:34

But I don’t think you’re selfish btw. You can ignore your mum. You just need to be realistic about how fun it’ll be for you.

rattusrattus20 · 27/11/2020 11:35

It's in many ways a good age to take a child on a medium to long haul holiday, from both a price [zero] and convenience perspective.

My two main caveats would be:

(a) flight time - 12 hrs plus? will it be economy? I would not be happy to find myself sat next to you on the plane.

(b) nature of the holiday [sightseeing type] - the kid obviously won't get any benefit at all from it all, and having to lug the kid round will take plenty of shine off your own enjoyment. to the extent that a child of that age would have a preferred type of holiday it'd be somewhere with plenty of cuddles, a bit of paddling, some swings, maybe a soft play, those sorts of things.

DoveGreylove · 27/11/2020 11:37

Do it. It's a beautiful place. I went whilst pregnant and we had a wonderful time ( despite the morning sickness Grin )

corythatwas · 27/11/2020 11:45

How long is that piece of travelling string?

I don't think it's necessarily about whether we have rose-tinted spectacles or not: I think it's at least as much about what we personally want out of a holiday or what we personally think about logistic challenges. People are all different.

Members of my family have been inter-railing and sailing with babies and young children for the last 55 years and thoroughly enjoyed it.

It's not because we have super-peaceful babies in our family, or because we all forget that something was hard work or that wasn't the same as a standard holiday.

It's more that some people actually enjoy doing things that are that little bit harder or result in a different experience. Just like some of us enjoy mountain hiking, though we do recognise you are more likely to get blisters that way than if you just relax on a sun lounger.

Dh and I took our 22mo on the train from Southampton to Berlin. Of course it was a different experience from, say, a 2 hour charter flight with another adult. It did involve pretty well non-stop work to keep dd quiet and happy and not too annoying to other passengers. But I still enjoy remembering that journey and how I recited the same book from memory while looking out over the Ardennes- while I don't have any memories at all of the ordinary uneventful flight I took to Berlin on my own years later.

MaryShelley1818 · 27/11/2020 11:45

It sounds absolutely fabulous and I wouldn't hesitate.

We took DS abroad at 10mths (absolute doddle), 18mths, and 2yrs. At 18mths and 2yrs he absolutely loved the theme parks and certainly did get a lot out of them, he loves the rides, the characters and even the shops, a year later he still talks about them all the time.
He's happy travelling and has never been a second bother on a plane, and we don't miss out on stuff either. At 18mths we stayed up till midnight and he watched the fireworks on his daddy's shoulders while clapping his hands and screaming with delight.
We are very laid back about routines though (on holiday). He naps in the pushchair when tired and we're happy to miss things out if he seems grumpy.
He should have been on another 3 holidays this year but Covid messed that up unfortunately and now I'm pregnant again so won't be getting back on a plane again until September 2021.

LolaLollypop · 27/11/2020 11:46

My DD (now 3) has already been to Thailand and Canada! Both trips had its challenges but overall everyone had a great time. Like someone said to me, these far away countries do have young children there too! There’s always lots to do.
We had plans to take DD and DS (9 months) long haul again this year before Covid got in the way. I’d definitely say go! Life doesn’t need to stop just because you have kids.

Lozz22 · 27/11/2020 11:48

I would. Search The Backpacking family on you tube. It's my Friend from school, her Husband and their 2 Kids. There is a video on there of the 3 of them traveling round japan when the older child was around 2 maybe. They've travelled all over the world. Definitely worth watching some more of the videos too

greeneyedlulu · 27/11/2020 11:50

Do it but I'd pay for the extra seat for your little one. 10 hours with a kid on your lap would be hell.

movingonup20 · 27/11/2020 11:50

What business is it if theirs! Its actually easy to travel with a little one, I'm pretty sure my parents didn't approve of my trips but they knew their opinions weren't welcome. We even went backpacking for a month with 2 toddlers

NoProblem123 · 27/11/2020 11:52

Book it now !
I took my daughter just before she turned 2 for exactly these reasons- we went to South Africa and it was Amazing !
She has no memory of it of course, but we do and seeing her splashing in the surf in 30 degrees in the middle of a winter back home was worth every minute on that flight.
Go Grin

Tipsylizard · 27/11/2020 11:54

I have always travelled with my kids...We took my son to Hong Kong when he was 8 weeks old. Children are a common bond too - people always want to talk to you wherever you go! So I say go for it. I think when people disapprove it comes from a place of fear- once you have done it once they will get over themselves. Enjoy - Japan is a fantastic country.

Billben · 27/11/2020 11:55

Ignore them OP and go. I hate it when parents do this disapproving look and shaking head nonsense at their adult children. It’s so patronising.

QueenBlueberries · 27/11/2020 11:56

Apart from the fact that it's a verrrrrry long flights and many babies are not happy on flights, I can't see the problem. Japan is very safe, it's extremely clean, there are toilets/changing tables everywhere, the trains are fabulous, the water is clean, the food is amazing. We went with our two DSs a couple of years ago, they were 10 and 12 at the time, and we all had a fab time. Tokyo Disney is great!

NoPainNoTartine · 27/11/2020 12:02

I agree with all the above. I would never consider not buying for their own seat for anything over 1 hour flight (if that)

CloudPop · 27/11/2020 12:03

Go for it !

00user00 · 27/11/2020 12:05

You have zero chance of going to Japan in 6 months time. UK residents are banned, you can't even quarantine to enter.

ravenmum · 27/11/2020 12:05

My parents seems to disapprove of us going. I’m not sure whether this is because of the long flight or because they don’t deem this to be a baby/toddler friendly destination or possibly because of covid too. They haven’t said why, but every time I talk about it I can see them shake their head a little bit, see the disapproval on their faces and they change the subject.

a) You are adults, why are you so concerned about what your parents think?
b) If you are so concerned, why have you not just asked them if they disapprove, and why? Then you could either sort it out with them, like adults do, or if they came up with some difficult points, discuss those points on Mumsnet rather than people having to play the same guessing game as you as to why they are not keen?

ravenmum · 27/11/2020 12:07

Even if you do somehow make it to Japan, what makes you think any of those things will be open?

Kissthepastrychef · 27/11/2020 12:08

Just in relation to the flight, we went to Turkey when DD was 18 months old. 5 hr flight, cattle class. It was horrific. Dd was incredibly restless, the man in front was a complete dickhead and kept reclining his chair onto me. Never, ever, ever would I take a 15 hr flight with quite a large, mobile and restless baby/toddler on my lap

PaperTowels · 27/11/2020 12:11

Just a thought - the Olympics will be on in Japan in July. Not the best time to go!

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