What would you do? Teachers advise 🙏 please

[Whatwouldyoydo]

My 16 yr old dd has just called me in tears.
Currently in 6th form and has been having issues with a male teacher, quite young tries to be funny but often misses the mark.
Several time he’s made wtf comments etc
Today he announced loudly that ‘ Claire wears short skirts to attract the boys” and when no one responded as they were quite shocked he said it again louder.
Dd was so upset she left the room for the toilet and her friend brought her the bag as class was ending.
Dd feels shamed. Fwiw dd dresses totally appropriately. (Dds name is not really Claire)

Dd said she’s complained to another teacher at school about it. Apparently the teacher in question was very anxious when dd didn’t return to class and probably realised he’s overstepped and was asking the girls to txt dd.
What would you do? Leave it for dd to manage the follow up or step up and intervene.

If he said that, and he was encouraging others in the class to text here then he already knows he is totally out of order. I would imagine he is, quite rightly, going to have a sleepless night.

You should speak to the head of sixth tomorrow to raise your concerns.

It's made worse because he repeated it for effect. Once is inappropriate and unacceptable, but one could make the defense of a thing that slipped out and was instantly regretted. (Still unacceptable!) Saying it again is, in my eyes, a new teacher trying to curry favor with the class by humiliating members of it, which is immature and pathetic classroom management (and, obviously, completely unacceptable as harassment). You don't make a mistake twice in a row.

text her - I think he realised pdq what he had done was not acceptable and this was his attempt at damage limitation, perhaps to apolgise?

As a former Head - you need to speak to the Headteacher. Call first thing and tell the office you need to talk to the Head Re Safeguarding.
A Hd of dept or Hd of sixth form does not have the necessary authority to deal with this ( or the knowledge of whether this is a lone matter or there are other concerns/complaints).
Explain your concerns, including the comments made and asking others to text her.
This is a Safeguarding matter and for everyone’s sake needs to be correctly investigated. He needs to stop this behaviour now.
If DD has his lesson before you are able to talk to Head ( I would be very surprised if that does not happen ASAP) either do not let her go to it or tell her not to engage in any conversation with him about it.
Make sure the Head speaks to you again after they have acted and you have an agreement Re what your DD is comfortable with.

Teacher here - definitely report. It may be a silly throw away comment, but it might not be, and your report may protect other children

sorry - try that again - I meant - when he asked others in the class to text her.

@Whatwouldyoydo

Yes, it was the last class and dd was gone for the last 10 minutes in the toilet. Dds friend brought her belongings to the toilet and dd didn’t see the teacher in question.

I assume no-one from the school has called to check she got home safe, or to check that her friend found her?

That's really, really poor.

He has no way of knowing how upset your DD is, if she's safe or where she is.

I'm also a teacher. You are doing absolutely the right thing in making this complaint and I am so sorry that your DD has doubted herself today as a result of his comments. for you both.

I’m a teacher and I would say that you should contact the Head of 6th form or equivalent. This is not ok and the school need to talk to him about it.

I'm a teacher. If I heard another teacher, male or female, saying that to a pupil I would report it myself. Embarrassingly unprofessional.

@lyralalala

I would imagine he hasn’t told anyone and is busy panicking. Really poor behaviour from him and I hope he gets his arse handed to him by his line manager.

Talk to the head of sixth form. This is unacceptable (I’m a head of year btw).

Your poor daughter. Figure out what you want from the school first, will an apology suffice? It’s unlikely he’ll loose his job. Figure out what would make it ok for you and your daughter before you approach the school and don’t stop until your receive it.

Your poor daughter, it is not her fault.

High school teacher here. Definitely totally inappropriate and I agree you should email the Head Teacher.

Doesn’t sound like a safeguarding issue to me, sounds like a - as OP said - young teacher who is probably out of his depth, and so as a plan B is trying to be funny with various students, but being an asshole. Unfortunately I think this type of teacher is quite common at A-Level in some schools - too busy trying to be funny and chat with the cooler kids in the class to be bothered to actually teach. Yes, I’d probably complain to the head but it’s going to make things awkward for her whatever you do unfortunately as presumably she can’t get another teacher and he’s unlikely to be sacked for one out of order “jokey” comment.

I hope your DD feels reassured that it isn’t her fault and her teacher was extremely inappropriate.

Appalling.
I used to be a teacher and we had this sort of thing drummed into us in training. Then every different school I worked with had an induction for new staff where we were told about appropriate behaviour. This kind of thing was mentioned all the time. No personal comments about pupils whatsoever - no commenting on new hairstyles, clothes, anything like that. No nicknames for pupils.
There were also regular refreshers for all staff at least once a year.

There's no way he's naive and doesn't know it isn't appropriate and he repeated it more loudly when he didn't get the reaction he expected.

Report to headteacher first thing tomorrow.

[quote BelleSausage]@lyralalala

I would imagine he hasn’t told anyone and is busy panicking. Really poor behaviour from him and I hope he gets his arse handed to him by his line manager.[/quote]
Exactly.

He's putting self-preservation over checking on the safety and well being of a pupil

@Applesarenice

Teacher here - definitely report. It may be a silly throw away comment, but it might not be, and your report may protect other children

Sorry, but no it's neither "silly" nor a "throw away comment". It is sexist, degrading and ill-placed from any adult, never mind from one in authority with a duty of care. Any decent teacher-training programme deals with these issues head on and makes it abundantly clear especially to the the cocky jack-the-lad types what is an appropriate tone between a professional and their students. He needs to be hauled over the coals by a suitably furious and imposing head teacher, and this type of incident will be recorded so that if there is a pattern he will be accountable and either learn to show respect to his students or leave the profession.

I would think, to undo the damage he has done, he needs to apologise to the entire class and explain why his behaviour was so unacceptable and encourage the pupils to never accept that from anyone again, even him. He cant have the boys in the class thinking that that sort of talk will be accepted, and even laughed at and encouraged, in his classroom so he needs to fall on his sword and admit his terrible lapse in judgement to the class. I would be asking for that. If your daughter is uncomfortable, she should be allowed to skip the lesson for that day.

I read most "should I complain to the school?" threads and only mentally answer them (the answer being FFS!)

However, this is a no-brainer. You must let the school know. It wasn't just the comment that was inappropriate but asking the girls to text her massively oversteps the mark.

I have a stupid question. In England, do 6th form teacher not teach any other age group? In Scotland, you just do 6th year in you high school. You dont apply for other 6th form places or anything like that so the teachers teaching 6th year are also teaching all the other years too (depending on seniority etc).
Do 6th form teachers also teach 1st through 5th year in England?

That is sexual harassment and being a new teacher is irrelevant. He shouldn't be saying that to anyone. I wouldn't appreciate it even from a close friend. There are 2 types of men in the world - those who think it's ok to make those kind of comments and those who never would. It's generally the older ones who are worse in my experience. A bit worrying that young men still think this is acceptable in a professional capacity!

Thank you everyone.

We’ve put together the complaint, with the inclusion of all your points that I hadn’t picked up on and referencing the DFE teaching standards linked above.

Young people are pretty switched on nowadays and apparently the young men in dds class are horrified and have been outspoken about the teachers inappropriate behaviour towards dd today.

If they see it, why can’t the teacher?

Teacher here. Haven't read all the replies, but this is completely out of order and he is a complete idiot (and quite possibly far worse) for saying it. The fact that he said it is bad enough, but then getting the other students involved to text her is very off. It smacks of him trying to manipulate her so she won't complain. Every single safeguarding training mentions the importance of not promising to keep secrets. He's a complete mug for not realising that asking someone to keep a secret is a big no no. The only right thing for him to do after this would have been to excuse himself to speak to his line manager or the safeguarding team and explain what happened. He seems to have fundamentally misunderstood the nature of a teacher-pupil relationship, both in terms of appropriate comments and his safeguarding responsibilities. This really is quite worrying.

I would definitely get in touch with the school, ideally with the head of sixth form and the safeguarding team. I would also encourage your DD to speak to the safeguarding team or another adult in the school she feels comfortable with (another adult will be required to report it to the safeguarding team anyway). Wishing you all the best.

@poshme

It's totally inappropriate.

I would be calling school tomorrow and asking to speak to senior management. It's safeguarding. Teachers should not be making comments like that about students.

Not ever.

I would expect a teacher to pull students up for making comments like that, never mind making them themselves!