URGENT - school gate crisis, ive got an hour!

[SlipperTripper]

This is complicated, I'll try to be brief.

DSD15 is a shit at school, and has been locked in an ongoing fight with a similar twat of a child for months.

Both girls were excluded for a fortnight following a physical fight three weeks ago, and have been back a week.

Other girl has been very vocal towards DSD (who is no angel, I 100% believe she's been giving back as good as she gets) but no more physical incidents.

Today I have been asked to pick her up 10mins early as the other girl has assembled some adult male relatives to meet DSD outside school, and beat her up. Cousins, I believe.

According to DSD, these people actually turned up in the school reception earlier.

Whilst I am disgusted with DSDs behaviour, and that of the other girl on an ongoing basis, I feel that this has crossed a line into something totally different. Moving from a school spat to a planned, well, attack.

What the hell should my next move be?!?

Do I turn up at school prepared to collect and whizz home ignoring the potential issue, do I notify the police, or do I approach them myself and say 'for Christ's sake, what ARE you doing?'

The pissed off side of me wants to just March up and say wtf is wrong with you all, but my sensible head says if they're prepared to walk into a school to smack a child, I'm likely to end up with a thump?!?

Honestly, I have never known of anything so bloody ridiculous in all my life, and must stress how absolutely disgusted I am at everyone involved. But right now, I have an hour to work out how to manage this! HELP!

(I am at the end of my tether with this, it been a long line of issues this year, and I just want some fucking respite. But that's another thread)

OP, I can’t begin to imagine how you are feeling. Please look after yourself and seek support if you feel you need it.

💐 OP you deserve much more than symbolic flowers. I do hope the girl’s father truly appreciates you.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

Contact police and ask for them to attend when you collect her as you are concerned for your safety.

They won’t do that.

Op, I wish I'd had an adult who cared about me, when I was a teenager, as much as you obviously do about you dsds.

Your love for them shines through in your posts.

Slipper, so sorry for your loss and the rough year you are having. You are amazing for taking all this on and committing to such a degree that you even stop work. No wonder you are fed up with it.
Sympathies to your DSDs. I hope they, and you, are able to heal in time.

dear slipper tripper
just read your updates and want to say how much I admire your fortitude and persistence through so much trauma. I hope everything comes good for your children in the end, and they and their father appreciate how lucky they are to have you.

Wow SlipperTripper you're doing so well in so much awfulness.

Try not to get on your DSD's case too much, if you can, tho.
Especially about this incident as it's a completely unreasonable way for those adults to behave.

and hugs

It is an awful situation plus you've had an important loss.
Would there be any chance the girls would agree to disagree? If it escalates definitely contact the police.

OP it sounds like you’re having a rough time. You obviously care about your DSDs, and they’re lucky to have you, even if they don’t realise it all the time.

@Aquamarine1029

Why isn't your husband, or her mother, dealing with this shit? His daughter, his problem.

Nice

Sorry, I'm not ignoring posts!

Believe it or not (possibly not from what I've said so far, but honestly I am!) I am an advocate of catching more flies with honey than vinegar, and that approach has led to a great relationship with both girls. I've spent many an hour discussing everything with both of them, and whenever I feel like we've made a breakthrough, something happens. I think a combination of hormones, and an inability to process everything that is going on is the root cause, but we'll keep chipping away and get there eventually.

DH is involved, but it's a bit of a peculiar situation. He suffered abuse at the hands of ex-W, police situation has thrown it all up again, it's made him dealing with it all tricky - he's seeing a counsellor, but it's was long time buried so not easy.

I keep telling myself that when you're going through hell, keep going, but Christ alive, it seems never ending! But big girl pants are on, and I've had a cup of tea, so all will be fine! 🥴

If the school haven't been informed, do so now. They have a responsibility to keep a safe environment and this quite clearly isn't.

I have only read your posts OP, but just wanted to wade on and say that you sound amazing! Your DSDs (and your DH) are very lucky to have you on their side. I hope they realise this and show their appreciation for you too.

@SlipperTripper
You are amazing. Those girls are lucky to have you in their corner.
💪

Am in awe of you, your fortitude and your love for your DSDs and DH. I hope they (especially DH) realise how lucky they are to have someone with such backbone in their corner

Teenagers are such fun.
Ok, maybe not always.
Sounds like you're doing well, OP. Keep it up.

SlipperTripper

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You are doing a remarkable job of holding it all together. Make sure you take care of yourself too.

and was doc suggested epilepsy likely to be the cause - caused by heightened emotional stress.

Seizures can be non-epileptic and caused solely by stress - just to forewarn you incase they are advising anti-epileptics from the start. Please ask that she is referred to a mental health team as well as a neurologist for a multi-disciplinary team review before any medication decisions are made if there is any uncertainty.

You are awesome @SlipperTripper, and those girls are lucky to have you in their lives.

@SlipperTripper you sound like an absolute bloody trooper. Lucky girls and lucky DH to have you. Sorry you've had such a rough time.

@riceuten I'm not exactly sure what calling the school almost three hours after the fact would do. Please advise.

Go girl. You are awesome. They are all so lucky to have you in their corner. God doesn’t pay his debts with money, one day this will be behind you and you will be smiling. A lot of us are with you on this one. Stay in there.

So sorry for your loss op. You sound amazing at dealing with everything!

To those saying the police wouldnt turn up to support the Op, the force I worked for would have tried to find an alternative solution in this type of situation, but was there not one, they absolutely would have.

Can I just say OP, you sound like a wonderful MUM.

Absolutely OP - you sound fantastic! I hope you manage to get some head space. You’re doing all that you can for your family. I’ll have my fingers crossed things improve.