Is SiL a CF with her carer

[DilemmaADay]

Dont really know who's being unreasonable here.

DPs brother is disabled, and needs help for mobility issues. His wife (DSiL) has arranged for them to go on a cruise holiday for 2022, however due to DBiLs disability, they will need to bring a carer on the holiday with them.

SiL wants the carer to pay for her own spot on the holiday (thousands) and not accompany them on any trips/meals, just essentially do the care in the morning and night, and then leave them alone for the rest of the holiday. She will pay the carer for the hours shes working.

AIBU to think shes being a CF here, and said I would pay for her to attend the holiday, or at least pay her for the 24 hours even if shes not assisting with care.

This actually made me smile! How ludicrous.

I presume your SIL is new to the role of being a carer's employer. And has spent less that 2 seconds considering how this would affect the carer.

No-one's going to take SIL up on that, she must be deluded.

If she wants a carer to travel with her, she pays the costs. And the costs would include travel, accommodation, food, and certainly pay for the hours worked.

We’ve employed a carer in the past who came on holiday with us - they got all flights paid for, room paid for, all meals and snacks, and then paid for the hours actually worked. It was a nice resort and we adjusted her hours so she got time off each day to enjoy the pool etc in daylight hours, and of course she had weekends totally free. She was welcome to join us or not join us for meals out etc. She was happy (very happy actually, has made clear she’d happily come on our trips again) as she did get a nice chunk of time off in a nice place.

That’s the norm. Your sil is mental.

Your SIL says she is going to do this and that, but I think she made have difficulty finding someone who will agree to those terms!!

Ahahahahahaha... oh dear she's in for a shock.

Not quite the same but I have a PA for trips away, conferences etc (well I did when we still had those).

Her hotel room is paid for by me.
She is paid for driving, she is paid for PA hours.
She gets a £20 a day food allowance for any day where its unreasonable for her to provide her own food, so for example on day 1, its reasonable for her to bring a packed lunch, but not an evening meal. On day 2 middle of a conference where she has to get my lunch she can't go and buy herself food elsewhere or have time to eat it, so she's provided lunch out of the allowance (unless the conference give her a free dinner which they often do).

If her days involved long periods of not doing anything, but having to be available, she'd be paid a standby rate.

So SIL needs to arrange to pay for carers accomodation, food, working hours and any standby rate where she must be available but may not be needed.

So basically thats all the time she's not actively working, but they are on board the ship and not off it, on an excursion that she isn't on.

SIL may also find that depending on her hubbys disabilities, they may not permit him to go on the excursions without the carer present (if SIL cannot do the care required).

It's not gonna be cheap, and it should NOT cost the carer a bean.

Sil needs to pay.

She will need to both pay for her spot on the holiday and the hours she is working.

Depending on her contract there may be a sleeper rate too as PP said.

Ask if you can be there when she proposed this to his carer

She is deluded if she thinks a carer will pay for this out of their own pocket.

Surely the carer will just decline? What’s in it for her? A holiday you haven’t chosen, with people you haven’t chosen to go away with, is not a holiday. She’s travelling for work, which should be a cost met by her employer.

She can want all she likes, but nobody in their right mind will do it
This.
Why would someone go and do their job in a different location and pay thousands for the privilege?

Posting to see how the SIL reacts when the carer declines this once in a lifetime offer.

This has not be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard!!!

PullTheBricksDown same here

SiL wants the carer to pay for her own spot on the holiday (thousands) and not accompany them on any trips/meals, just essentially do the care in the morning and night, and then leave them alone for the rest of the holiday. She will pay the carer for the hours shes working

She can want a pet unicorn that shits gold while she's about it, she has about as much chance of both those things.

She'll never get someone to agree to this.

What carer gets paid so well to be able to afford a f*cking luxury cruise?!?

Frankly she is a bit batshit for planning to go on a cruise in the first place when everyone knows they are floating cess pits of infections and plagues. Even if by 2022 corona is under control there are other equally nasty bugs that fester in cruise ships.

Secondly no carer in their right mind will pay out thousands of their own money for the privilege of being at your SILs beck and call night and day.

I would sit back and enjoy the fireworks. They will be amazing!

People can choose what they want an assistant to do based on what they need, so if they just need that bit of care that's perfectly reasonable. The carer can go out and look at the sights themselves anyway.

But I'd be intrigued by how many applicants they'll get willing to pay the thousands to go.

Can you come back OP and update us when your SIL finds a carer who agrees to this. 🤣 I suspect this is a wind up.

Sil is a muppet!

Please post the carers response, when it’s been put to them!

Unless there's a vital bit of information missing from your post (such as your MIL is the carer in question) then SIL must be on glue or similar.

A carer paying for a cruise just to earn NMW for certain hours each day. The sums don't add up and no-one wants a cruise that badly given the Covid implications..

She wants a carer to go along, she pays for the carer both for doing their job and for all expenses required to carry out their job. Sit back with the popcorn!

Why would anyone pay thousands to go on someone else’s holiday. If they wanted to go on cruise then they would book their own . She is an idiot and has to pay for them .

How do I apply? I'm also MLM distributor and fantasist.