To be upset with no bday present

[Thankyoubutnothankyou]

First of all I know I'm not being too unreasonable to be incredibly hurt.
I have two siblings, one older one younger. A few years ago the older one turned 40 and the younger one suggested we'd get them an expensive birthday gift. It was something theyd wanted for a long time, so we both chipped in, got it and even had it delivered.
Today is my 40th. All I got so far is a text message from the younger sibling. Nothing yet from the older. I don't think they've gotten me anything. WWYD? Wait til the end of the day and then say something or never mention it. I'm so disappointed I feel like crying.. Its not the gift or the money obviously but the disregard 😞

Are you in the UK? If so, perhaps you should wait until later in the day before you get upset.

It’s too early to decide they haven’t got you anything. But if it’s going to worry you all day I would msg them something like ‘I’m so excited for my present, can you give me any clues?’ so you get a better feel of whether they’ve got you anything.

It’s definitely too early. I would wait a few days before saying anything. They might be disorganised with posting or delayed or something. But 10am on the day is definitely too soon to write it off.

They don't live locally so if there was anything, it would have been shipped over already.. We got an electric guitar for the older sibling. I don't think anythings been arranged..

I'd wait, but to be honest whenever I've sent someone a gift I've always given a heads up. It could be coming through Amazon or similar though, which could be anytime up to 10pm.

@Thankyoubutnothankyou by any chance are both your siblings male?

They don’t live locally but are you in the UK? If they’ve ordered a bunch of flowers for example then these could come at any time today.

Wait and see....I posted two parcels over ten days ago....same destination, same service. One arrived last Tuesday and one arrived yesterday. The postal service is a nightmare at the moment.

Ar teatime, or tomorrow morning, text them both

"I'd like to thank you for the gift you gave me for my 40th birthday. It so beautifully represents the depth of love and care you feel for me. It is up there on par with the wonderful present we gave XX on their 40th.

I know how much I am loved"

Extremely PA and can't really be argued with!

I have dreamt of sending just such a message on behalf of DH... and assume he has felt the same on my behalf! Sometimes family are just utterly shite!

I was going to ask what @BrumBoo did.

I've got two brothers. I'm the organiser.

Yes I'm in the UK and yes they're both male..

I didn't organise the present for my older siblings 40th. My younger brother did. He's capable of organising..

maybe wait and see if anything arrives its still early if not say something tomorrow.

Ask if something is in the mail. Say you're excited to see what they came up with instead if an electric guitar. Shame them into action and apologies if they've forgot, or give them a chance to chase up the gift if it is stuck in the mail.

Given we're in lockdown I'd give it more time tbh. Deliveries / post are consistently late here. We don't get our post until 1400.

@Thankyoubutnothankyou

I didn't organise the present for my older siblings 40th. My younger brother did. He's capable of organising..

Hes capable of organising for another male is all I see from this so far. However, there is still time of course for your own gift to arrive.

I just get the feeling that if they haven't actually got you something, it will be some bollocks along the line of 'well it was easy to know what to get him.'

Agree to giving it more time - the day's got a while to go yet.

With everything that's gone on this year though, are they perhaps not quite as well off as they would have been previously?

Happy birthday! 🎂 🥳 🎉

Is your birthday a “big” birthday? If it’s not, what do you lot normally do for normal birthdays? I’d just expect that level of celebration.

I know why you’re annoyed, because you’ve recently shelled out for a big gift. But I wouldn’t expect a big fuss until you’re 40. Then you should get a big fuss.

Hard to know

You got a present but doesn’t mean that you are actually a kind loving sibling.

For all we know... you’re awful and fact you bought a present means bugger all to them

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Ar teatime, or tomorrow morning, text them both

"I'd like to thank you for the gift you gave me for my 40th birthday. It so beautifully represents the depth of love and care you feel for me. It is up there on par with the wonderful present we gave XX on their 40th.

I know how much I am loved"

Extremely PA and can't really be argued with!

I have dreamt of sending just such a message on behalf of DH... and assume he has felt the same on my behalf! Sometimes family are just utterly shite!

If they don’t give a damn about someone - then receiving a message like this is just going to make you laugh!

@MacbookHo the op states they're 40 today in the op. Hence the disappointment so far.

I don’t remember the last time I got presents...that stopped by the time I turned 18.

And also OP - in case you hadn’t noticed; most of the world have been affected by this pandemic so I can imagine money is tight, and with Christmas around the corner; I wouldn’t think it’s unreasonable that friends and family don’t have the money to shell out for birthday presents and Christmas presents plus other life expenses on limited funds.

I think YABU honestly.
Your grown.

* I don’t remember the last time I got presents...that stopped by the time I turned 18. *

No friends? Parents?

If they don’t give a damn about someone - then receiving a message like this is just going to make you laugh! I know you are right... which is probably why I have never acted on the impulse to send such a message.

But I have thought about it... and hated DHs family for treating him that way. OP has my sympathies, it's not a pleasant thing to realise!

@Rolopolo2000

I have both but since I turned an adult my birthday list got smaller and once I started earning my own money I found I bought what I wanted so gifts cut down.

Now they buy presents for my children and I’m happy with that.

That’s normal with my friends and family and with people I know where I live