To be upset with no bday present

[Thankyoubutnothankyou]

First of all I know I'm not being too unreasonable to be incredibly hurt.
I have two siblings, one older one younger. A few years ago the older one turned 40 and the younger one suggested we'd get them an expensive birthday gift. It was something theyd wanted for a long time, so we both chipped in, got it and even had it delivered.
Today is my 40th. All I got so far is a text message from the younger sibling. Nothing yet from the older. I don't think they've gotten me anything. WWYD? Wait til the end of the day and then say something or never mention it. I'm so disappointed I feel like crying.. Its not the gift or the money obviously but the disregard 😞

[quote BrumBoo]@MacbookHo the op states they're 40 today in the op. Hence the disappointment so far.[/quote]
I can’t believe I missed that! 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP! I’m sorry. I’d wait, you’ll get something today I’m sure.

@CtrlU

I don’t remember the last time I got presents...that stopped by the time I turned 18.

And also OP - in case you hadn’t noticed; most of the world have been affected by this pandemic so I can imagine money is tight, and with Christmas around the corner; I wouldn’t think it’s unreasonable that friends and family don’t have the money to shell out for birthday presents and Christmas presents plus other life expenses on limited funds.

I think YABU honestly.
Your grown.

Only a matter of time before the fun sucking martyr turned up to tell us how they have miserable birthdays and therefore anyone else who wants to enjoy them are immature.

Happy birthday op 🎉

Don't let this destroy your birthday, wait till tomorrow (or a couple of days) and send them both a text 'where is my guitar?'

Happy Birthday op!
I hope you live with people who have acknowledged and celebrated your birthday. Your brothers are really thoughtless if they haven't done anything.

Ignore the inevitable posters who say birthdays are for children.

@giantangryrooster

Happy birthday op 🎉

Don't let this destroy your birthday, wait till tomorrow (or a couple of days) and send them both a text 'where is my guitar?'

Happy 40th birthday @Thankyoubutnothankyou 🥳

I agree, give it time, it may be delivered later today. If you don't get anything I like this idea!

don’t remember the last time I got presents...that stopped by the time I turned 18

Thats really sad. I'm not materialistic at all and have just had a wonderful 50th birthday because of the time, effort and thought my friends and family put into the gifts I received and was very thankful for. One was a cheap candle but had something on it that meant something to me.

@Thankyoubutnothankyou

Yes I'm in the UK and yes they're both male..

You're a woman, women don't get presents, they just contribute and organise them, didn't you know?

Also, Happy Birthday

Money is not an issue for them as someone suggested. Neither have been badly affected by covid. I am a nice sibling and care a lot about them and their children. We always spend Christmases together and keep in touch. I'll give it til tomorrow I guess.

[quote CtrlU]@Rolopolo2000

I have both but since I turned an adult my birthday list got smaller and once I started earning my own money I found I bought what I wanted so gifts cut down.

Now they buy presents for my children and I’m happy with that.

That’s normal with my friends and family and with people I know where I live[/quote]
Any imagine not buying my 19 year old daughter or son a birthday present

Or indeed when they’re 59!

Was there something you specifically wanted?

I don’t normally do presents but if there was something I knew someone very specifically wanted, I might use a big birthday as an excuse to get it for them.

But I wouldn’t then start buying presents for anyone else.

@Rolopolo2000 thanks for suggesting that I'm an awful person and a bad sibling. Just the comment I needed..

@CatherinedeBourgh no there isn't anything special.. They could have asked for info from my dh for example or just organised some flowers to be delivered. I don't normally except anything, but since we went all out for our big brother's 40th few years ago I thought this might be a thing.. Us siblings organising a nice present for each of our 40th..

I'm so sorry. It stings, doesn't it.

Try to not let this spoil your day (hard task) and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Happy birthday 🥳 hopefully you will get a lovely surprise soon.

@CtrlU

I don’t remember the last time I got presents...that stopped by the time I turned 18.

And also OP - in case you hadn’t noticed; most of the world have been affected by this pandemic so I can imagine money is tight, and with Christmas around the corner; I wouldn’t think it’s unreasonable that friends and family don’t have the money to shell out for birthday presents and Christmas presents plus other life expenses on limited funds.

I think YABU honestly.
Your grown.

OOoo competitive un birthdaying, not seen that one for ages.

Your an adult now OP. No partaking in anything mildly fun and don't forget to flog yourself tonight, 6 extra lashes considering its a special occasion.

🙄

Well Happy Birthday from me anyhow! If they are 2 typical blokes maybe have just forgotton (hurts I know!) I must admit ,I often say in the weeks leading up to my BD "looking forward to BD on xxxx or "Really loved these earrings I found online/The Amber Shop/Ernest Jones" or whatever! Shameless I know.Its still quite early in the day ,so maybe something will arrive later on? Have a great day anyway sending Birthday hugs to you xxx

[quote Thankyoubutnothankyou]@Rolopolo2000 thanks for suggesting that I'm an awful person and a bad sibling. Just the comment I needed..[/quote]
I didn’t suggest that.

Reread and I suggest you don’t jump to conclusions.

I said it was difficult to answer. We don’t know you. We don’t know your relationships.

@AryaStarkWolf

You're a woman, women don't get presents, they just contribute and organise them, didn't you know?

She didn't organise it and whilst the OP chipped in I don't see any confirmations to say how if it was split evenly.
Apart from that total correct.
Why let mere facts get in the way when gender bashing!!

Id give it more time, its still early. If not I'd text/ring them and say you're upset and why.
Don't bottle it up or let it sour the relationship

@Cheeseandwin5 it was evenly split. @dottiedodah they couldn't have forgotten. My dh was trying to organise a celebratory get-together weekend for us all (apparently they were keen) which was cancelled due to lockdown. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes everyone ❤️❤️ I'm feeling less upset after spitting this disappointment out loud.

Ok a few points.

a) You do realise that things have totally changed now and there are many delays with presents and items. To compare things to a few years ago seems unfair.
b) I think your DH should have checked to see what they were doing (and maybe given them a heads up on what the situation was)
c) I didn't organise the present for my older siblings 40th. My younger brother did. He's capable of organising..
This is shocking- you have abdicated any responsibility / liability from getting the present, but also think your siblings are too blame for not doing it for you. Total hypocrisy
d) Money is not an issue for them as someone suggested
I hate when ppl say this. You have absolutely no idea of their financial situation or what strains they are under, but still use your ignorance as a stick to beat them with.

I would be upset if my siblings didn't wish me on my birthday and I really wish they do for you too, but maybe you can sideline the expensive presents to another time, when things around the world have calmed down.

@CtrlU The entire world isn't in lockdown and some of us have access to online shopping like Amazon and other vendors. I still celebrate birthdays and give my siblings presents and this OP does as well. She's understandably upset and hurt and putting a boot into her is heartless

I would be really disappointed by this. But wait until the day is over before saying anything. They may have arranged something to be delivered or arranged something for later.

If you still get nothing I'd let rip over text message. No point sitting anna's stewing on stuff.

Happy birthday

Send them a text at 8pm saying you’re having a glass of. By kt to celebrate your birthday. Bit pa but sod them! Do your kids get presents?