Child wants to be vegetarian

[NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom]

A bit of a tough one. My youngest (9) wants to be vegetarian because he doesn’t want to eat animals as it makes him sad. We’ve raised animals for meat all his life but for some reason, seeing the Christmas turkeys in their field on his way to and from school each day is making him really upset.

My problem is that in order to ensure he gets a decent amount of protein and the vitamins/minerals that he currently gets from meat, I’m going to have to do a lot of extra cooking just for him. I have Crohn’s, and so does my eldest, so we can’t eat most beans/pulses and many other foods that are common in a vegetarian diet. Also, none of us can tolerated Quorn!

I will have to cook two separate meals every day in order to accommodate my DS becoming veggie. He grows like a weed and is always on the go so he’s really quite skinny so can’t afford to lose any weight.
I’m not against vegetarianism in the slightest - we’d have veggie meals more often as a family if my DD and I could stomach them. We try to counteract this by eating meat that is either raised by us or ethically sourced.

DH and I work full time so don’t have time to be cooking two separate meals every night. I also suffer with chronic fatigue due to my Crohn’s so generally use the weekends to try and recover from my working week.

AIBU to try and persuade my DS to hold off being veggie until he’s a bit older?

I think it is easy enough with a bit of adaptation to your meal planning.
In our house we have a vegan, a vegetarian, and 2 meat eaters, 1 of which doesn't eat cheese.
We manage to eat together as a family, with variations and options on the table.
My Mum coped admirably (in hindsight) with all her children becoming vegetarian in the early to mid 80s despite a farming background. I was never (apart from dinner ladies attempts) made to eat meat, and I think you could cause food issues if one insisted a child ate meat against their wishes.

OP I think you do have a uniquely difficult situation though given your dietary needs.
A lot of the hybrid meals we eat that suit both meat eaters and vegetarians I can see wouldn't work for you.

My DD is allergic to Quorn so we don’t use it.
I find adapting our meals quite easy. I use tofu or paneer or halloumi cheese or something from the veggie section is Sainers.
I just make one meal and tweak it for her. Or more usually I make a vegetarian meal and add some meat for DS as he’s the only hard core carnivore in the house

I know you say you can’t stand tofu, do you mean you can’t tolerate it or don’t like it?
If it’s not liking it you can do a lot with it to make it tastier

@Hoppinggreen

I don’t like it - it’s the texture I really don’t like, rather than the taste.

As a vegetarian with IBS, I have some idea of where you’re coming from OP.

I don’t think the answer is for you all to go veggie because clearly that wouldn’t work. I think the key is to have some pre-prepared meals in the freezer for when you cook a meal that can’t easily be turned veggie for your DS.

That doesn’t mean you need to spend hours batch cooking. Instead, whenever you make a meal for him, double quantities and stick the left overs in the freezer. Veggie curry, chillies, soups etc all freeze well.

This list from BBC Good Food may help although some of the options are a bit weird. May be it’s just me, but I don’t know anyone who batch cooks cakes 🙃

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/vegetarian-batch-cooking-recipes/amp

And definitely get him involved. I often make this, which is one of my kids’ favourites. I usually double the recipe and make up 4 wraps to go in the freezer for whenever one of us needs a quick meal, or I put the bean mixture (without the wrap) in the fridge to quickly make up a meal when needed. These cook in 30 minutes from frozen:

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetable-recipes/cool-mexican-bean-wraps/

@Crazzzycat

He loves pasta with tomato and mascarpone sauce so I’ll teach him to make that as it’s quite easy. He’s a bit absent minded though and has poor organisation skills (school suspect ADHD) so cooking with him is quite fraught! He can manage noodles or scrambled eggs though.

Oh @NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom, it’s hard for you! You seem to have an amazing boy though, compassionate and sensitive. Wish you all the best💐

[quote NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom]@Hoppinggreen

I don’t like it - it’s the texture I really don’t like, rather than the taste.[/quote]
Try the cauldron tofu
Also freeze and defrost prior to use - it makes it even firmer.

[quote NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom]@Hoppinggreen

I don’t like it - it’s the texture I really don’t like, rather than the taste.[/quote]
I thought I didn't like tofu until I learnt how to prepare it. It's really easy and delicious.

@CodenameVillanelle - I’ve never cooked it myself but I’ve tried it in several different restaurants (Chinese, Thai, ‘whole food’) hoping that I might grow to like it. I haven’t

Raising all your own animals to sustain a carnivorous diet must be an enormous burden, how do you manage it?

Deep fry it, improves most things

It sounds like you’re going to be cooking extra meals if you let him do it. How will he ease that burden? Will he help you prep and wash up the extra pots and pans?

@newstart1337

It’s not really that much of a burden. We breed the lambs ourselves - we’ll freeze a few and the rest go back into breeding stock. We buy in two or three piglets and we go halves on a dexter steer that our friends breed. The chickens are very little hassle and we will often ask for surplus pheasants or partridge from local shoots that we see happening.

@CamVegOut

I find it hilarious that people say that vegans/vegetarians should not force their views on their children, but when children don't want to eat meat it is OK to force the parents view that they should eat meat. It is not essential to eat meat, ask the millions of Indians who are vegetarian for generations.

I find it hilarious that people make sweeping comments on subjects when they’ve clearly not read the entire thread. I have nothing against a vegetarian diet but two out of five family members have very restricted diets due to ill health so cannot follow a veggie diet. If I followed a vegetarian diet it would severely incapacitate me, lead to possible life changing surgery and maybe worse. Sorry if that doesn’t fit your view that anyone can be vegetarian. They can’t.

His beliefs aren’t polar opposite to mine.

Looking after animals purely so you can kill them and him not wanting to hurt the poor animals are polar opposites to me, sorry.

Anyway the issue is that your DS wants to be vegetarian - you don't have to be, nor does your DD.
Posters have given you ideas to try and plenty of posters say it's quite easy to cater for meat eaters/veggies with the same meal without too much work. I hope you can find something that works for you.

My mum is coeliac and my brothers and I went through phases of being vegetarian when we were younger. My dad eventually put his foot down as we were very changeable or kept eating McDonald’s etc haha and he had to accommodate three different diet types (as at the time he ate meat). He didn’t want to always eat either gluten free and/or vegetarian. I think he let us at a young age but tbh I would be tempted in your particular situation to try and persuade him but ultimately you might have to give in with it.

Obviously your reasons for not eating more veggie as a family are valid, and I completely understand why making extra meals could feel like a mammoth task. In the nicest possible way, it’s really nothing compared to keeping livestock out of choice when it’s not your full time job. Either way, you’ve said you’re going to let your ds do it so good for you.

I think what many meat eaters don’t understand is that it isn’t always clear cut as saying the someone has made a decision and that’s their choice. Peoples reasons for not eating meat are hugely varied, and while I know many people made a conscious choice to go veggie or vegan for ethical reasons despite still enjoying meat, but for many of us, especially children, it’s just about not being able to stomach the thought of eating dead animals. Once you have gained that perspective, it’s very hard to see a tasty spag Bol or chicken dish, because it just looks like cooked up dead flesh.

Everyone has their limits on things they would eat, plenty of meat eaters would draw the line at eating snakes, horses, guinea pigs, bats, elephants etc. Imagine feeling like you were under constant pressure because of your family’s health to eat those things or do extra work that’s a bit much for you to cope with every day because you’re still a child when your older sibling doesn’t have to. It would feel the same to someone who wants to be vegetarian because they can only see meat as a bit of dead animal. I suppose OP, you have to work out honestly which type of veggie your ds is.

If that's what he wants don't try and go against it

You are breeding and killing animals at home, so I guess your little boy is becoming very attached to animals that must seem like pets, and then they are slaughtered and are now in bits in your freezer. How is he supposed to feel?

why would he love a dog but not a lamb? It is the most craziest thing about this, what is the difference between cutting up his pet dog and freezing him or cutting up his pet lamb and freeszing him?

No difference at all.

The fact that you can't eat vegetables etc is largely irrelevant because you should still be making these things for the rest of the family to keep them healthy and well.

Some of my friends have small holdings and the slaughter of the baby animals they have raised from birth has been extremely traumatic for some of the children.

You should perhaps reflect on the impact this is having on your child/children.

This will be an unpopular opinion, but I wanted to be veggie when I was about 9. My mom said, fine so long as I buy and cook all the food myself because she already makes dinner every night, she sent going to make two. If I wasn't happy to do that, then fine - I could carry on as I was an become vegetarian when I moved out.
We have a great relationship, it didn't cause any issues between us. I wasn't traumatised.
At 31 I still eat meat, but well sourced, well reared meat (like it sounds you do).

I totally understand people want you to respect your child's feelings but children change their minds regularly and need to understand the family can't and doesn't have to change their whole set up to accommodate them.

Dd went veggi at a similar age (just before she turned 8). I insisted on pesctarian until about 2 years later when she saw her cousins fishing with live bait ! She is now 14, shows no sign of going back.

It was a pain to start with but tbh we all eat better for it.

Simple ideas are;
Omlette
Stir fry (peanuts for protien)
Macoroni cheese
We love veggi chilli and lasange but difficult to do chilli without beans.
Nut roast is delicious
Pizza
Various soups