To think Father Christmas doesn’t make two visits.

[Kacee29]

Random one.

I have a DS with my ex and dc with my current partner. DS always wakes up here on Christmas morning and visits his dads house throughout the day or sometimes sleeps there Christmas Day night into Boxing Day.

Before anyone asks why doesn’t he stay there on Christmas Eve sometimes or alternate Christmas etc like other parents do. It’s never happened for us. DS has siblings here. He doesn’t at his dads. His dad always goes out drinking Christmas Eve so he’s never been interested in having DS then.

My ex has told DS that Father Christmas always drops presents off for DS at his house too so DS thinks he gets two visits off Santa.

I’ve always been against this as for me Santa should visit the house you are sleeping Christmas Eve and wake up on Christmas morning.

Also. DS has been telling dc he gets two visits which isn’t ideal as dc are more understanding now.

Plus in our house Santa always brings one gift and a sack or stocking and the rest is from me and hubby. In my exs view all presents are from Santa.

I’ve tried to communicate this with him but he’s not the easiest to talk to.

Aibu?

It wouldn’t be so bad if DS kept his gifts off his dad at their house but he always brings them home. Naturally DS is always going to have extra presents off his dads side of the family which is fine but from Santa? No! I feel like I should do the Santa thing here!

Please guide me here. Shall I put my foot down this year? It’s causing all sorts of confusion here!

I think the point is that one child in the family is getting two visits from Santa and the other kids are feeling left out. Also it's a bit weird that he gets no presents from his Dad. I think the OPs concerns are valid.

Yabu. It’s Father Christmas, not ‘Santa’!

Agree with others you are being very unreasonable. It is not your DS fault that his parents don’t live together so if he gets more than your other kids then so what. At least they are growing up every day with both parents which is more than your DS will ever have

Santa can do anything, because he is magic.

I think you need to figure out whats really bothering you because this is a bit silly.

I don’t give a crap how many presents he gets off his ex. Just don’t want them to be all from Santa as it confuses DS why he gets one and a stocking here and loads there and then he tells younger dc he gets extra.

Also just to add. My ex barely sees DS in the year (maybe 2 or 3 times a year despite living 5 minutes away). But is always overkill at Christmas. I don’t understand it 🤷‍♀️

Also DS has autism. So he gets really confused about different things and doesn’t understand certain things NT do.

YABU you dont get get to dictate your exes santa story. And you dont get to say that he cant enjoy any of the "santa magic". This is the problem with such a complex lie told as such definite truth, it's just something you have to work around if you want to tell them Santa is real. All parents make up a different story, you cant complain that other parents lies contradict yours.

My ex not his ex *

He doesn't get 2 visits.

Santa drops presents off for him at his mums house and his dads house.

Totally in the semantics but it's how you're wording it.

Are you sure it's not you that's the difficult one op?

Regardless of the story , Ds will always have extra gifts from Ex

He isn’t taking all the glory he gave it to Santa

I did the everything is from Santa regretted it as he got older- I just did what my parents did. It was harder to explain why I bought him nothing

The rest yabvu

Must be nice for this to be the biggest thing you've got to worry about. Very, very petty and ridiculous.

Sorry but YABU. It's all a story. You do your version and your ex can do his.

I don’t consider it a broken home. I split with my ex when I was pregnant. DS has known nothing but me and oh as a parent (he was a baby when he came into our lives). My ex sees DS 2 or 3 times a year despite living a short distance away. But is always really interested at Christmas!!! Drives me mad every year. How he can abandon him most of the year and overboard at Christmas. But that’s another story.

Your update doesn’t change the fact you’re BU. You’ve asked for advice and you’ve overwhelmingly got it. Are you going to listen and back off or continue trying to bulldoze through the situation and try and control everything that is, actually, none of your business?

YABU, sorry. I can see why you’re frustrated, but it’s up to your ex how he handles this in his own house- and I’d feel the same as him I think- I’d want to ‘do’ the Santa thing with my child, regardless of where they woke up.

Just don’t want them to be all from Santa as it confuses DS why he gets one and a stocking here and loads there and then he tells younger dc he gets extra.

So change your tradition rather than assuming your ex has to change his.

You’re being unreasonable because you clearly hate your ex and are projecting this onto a Christmas “situation”

YABU. Your ex is just making sure he and your son share some of the magic of Santa as well as you. Your son is clearly happy with the arrangement so why spoil a child’s enjoyment of Santa for the sake of your feelings when you’re an adult who knows it’s all make believe?

Presumably your ds copes with the differences of day to day life in 2 different homes already, this is only one extra thing. Leave it be, YABU.

Yeah, you're being unreasonable. If you are you're up for lying to your ds about FC then you dont get to get all het up that your ex is also lying. Stop making trouble where there is none.

This would really bother me too. But I’m afraid, even if your DS hardly sees his dad, it’s out of your hands what your ex does as regards presents. You say you’ve tried discussing this with ex and he doesn’t want to know. You’ve done all you can.

Well, you can't put your foot down.

The joy of an ex, is that they don't get a say, unless it's a major matter. That includes you though too. I do agree with you actually and think there should just be one santa visit, to save confusion and envy in other siblings. But, none the less, what goes down in your ex's house, isn't up to you.

OK easy answer to why samta brings lots of gifts to daddy's and not lots to mommy's

Because mommy likes to be the one to buy him gifts so santa lets her

My sen child understands that santa buys the sweeties mommy buys the rest

@Hohofortherobbers nope because he barely sees his dad. Maybe once every couple months if he’s lucky. He doesn’t want to go half the time when his dad is actually interested.

Don't worry about what happens at your ex's house at Christmas you just concentrate on yours.