To think Father Christmas doesn’t make two visits.

[Kacee29]

Random one.

I have a DS with my ex and dc with my current partner. DS always wakes up here on Christmas morning and visits his dads house throughout the day or sometimes sleeps there Christmas Day night into Boxing Day.

Before anyone asks why doesn’t he stay there on Christmas Eve sometimes or alternate Christmas etc like other parents do. It’s never happened for us. DS has siblings here. He doesn’t at his dads. His dad always goes out drinking Christmas Eve so he’s never been interested in having DS then.

My ex has told DS that Father Christmas always drops presents off for DS at his house too so DS thinks he gets two visits off Santa.

I’ve always been against this as for me Santa should visit the house you are sleeping Christmas Eve and wake up on Christmas morning.

Also. DS has been telling dc he gets two visits which isn’t ideal as dc are more understanding now.

Plus in our house Santa always brings one gift and a sack or stocking and the rest is from me and hubby. In my exs view all presents are from Santa.

I’ve tried to communicate this with him but he’s not the easiest to talk to.

Aibu?

It wouldn’t be so bad if DS kept his gifts off his dad at their house but he always brings them home. Naturally DS is always going to have extra presents off his dads side of the family which is fine but from Santa? No! I feel like I should do the Santa thing here!

Please guide me here. Shall I put my foot down this year? It’s causing all sorts of confusion here!

@user113215532352

I think you're being a bit controlling about an imaginary magical figure.

totally agree

I grew up with separated parents, and now my DD is too - Father Christmas visits as many times as he needs too,

I really think its a bad idea to tell a child with autism that if they're bad santa wont come.

Autistic kids act out for a reason. If theyre worried or anxious, or sensory needs or whatecrr else is going on.

You do know Father Christmas isn't real, right? It really really doesn't matter.

I'm having a similar debate. My ex has always given my DC a second stocking when they go to his in the afternoon and we are reversing this year but I don't really agree with the second santa visit so just want to do normal gifts when they come here but my DD (who is 9 and I am sure doesn't believe but goes along with it) is adamant that Santa does 2 drops. She's getting the 5 year old all geared up for 2 stockings despite me saying that it isn't happening... I'm trying to avoid them being spoilt by having too much stuff.

You could not do presents at your house if they are at his first. Then Santa only does one visit.

@Wolfiefan don’t all parents use the Santa threat this time of year? My own mother certainly did With me!

No. It smacks of poor parenting, inconsistency and lack of control. What do you do to manage dc's behaviour the rest of the year when Father Christmas isn't imminent?

And for some children they will genuinely think they are "bad". If even santa doesnt like them!

This not surprisingly isn't actually a motivator.

Well for a start it’s going to be impossible to use the Santa threat if the ex has Santa coming to his house. Will be a bit of an own goal there...

Secondly, you’re not in a position to put your foot down about anything that happens at his dad’s house. Whether it’s Santa or family or whether he gets loads or less is frankly none of your business.

And why do people always drip-feed the “he has SN/ex never sees him/he never wants to go there anyway”? Not that I don’t believe these things, but it just seems that they’re fed into the thread to strengthen the argument when an OP is categorically being told they’re in the wrong.