To not invite my DDs friends.

[Julz1622]

I have booked a socially distanced visit from Santa and Anna and Elsa on Christmas Eve for my daughter (8) and the baby (10 months) I live in a block of flats, and I was telling one of the mum's of one of daughter's friends about it. She said oh let me know what time they are coming and I'll send 'name' across. She has also told a few of the other mums on the block. Now I know some people will think I am being selfish, but I've paid £50 for them to come visit my daughter, I don't want all the kids congregating and ruining it for my daughters.

My question is - am I and others "unkind" for "flaunting" the fact that we are visiting Santa?

I don’t know. Do you flaunt it? Do you take the other local kids along and make them stand and watch? Do you film yourselves and then post them the footage on Christmas Eve? I suspect not. Even you couldn’t be that grinchy. So - once more for the hard of thinking - it isn’t the same thing.

Larkin speaks the stark truth.

Stark is the word for it. Jesus.

I find it really strange that you claim that you don't think that everyone who doesn't share their family experiences etc is mean, (just this one specific incident you've come across online) - but you share Grinch poems and hurl insults when people say "I wouldn't share something I'd paid for for my family with someone else". And yet YOU don't share your family experiences with your neighbours! It stinks of pure hypocrisy, it's actually very funny too that someone can be so very deluded.

Only read your posts op but don’t feel bad about it! Too right they can pay for their own visit! Yes say you don’t know exact date yet and be vague if they ask again and look sad like you don’t think it’s happening. Hope it’s amazing for your kids they will love it!

GlummyMcGlummerson

It’s not hypocrisy. I am not asking anyone to do or not do anything I wouldn’t or would do myself. I am drawing a distinction (which, granted, you disagree with) between things I think are fine and things I don’t think are fine.

I don’t know. Do you flaunt it? Do you take the other local kids along and make them stand and watch? Do you film yourselves and then post them the footage on Christmas Eve? I suspect not. Even you couldn’t be that grinchy. So - once more for the hard of thinking - it isn’t the same thing.

I stand and watch my kids and don't fret about if other people can afford it.

No I don't take Tiny Tim to stand and watch - but neither does the OP, in fact she actively doesnt want them there so not sure why you're making this comparison?

I take a picture and I may post it on Facebook or Snapchat.

So obviously me donating £25 to a charity that gives presents to children on Christmas makes me a massive Grinch 🤣🤣🤣😂 honest to God, it's not "hard of thinking", you've made your stance clear but then you claim you don't think XYZ is tight/Grinchy, then you do, going back and forth. It's not is hard of thinking, it's you being utterly weird, inconsistent and a huge hypocrite

@flaviaritt

GlummyMcGlummerson

It’s not hypocrisy. I am not asking anyone to do or not do anything I wouldn’t or would do myself. I am drawing a distinction (which, granted, you disagree with) between things I think are fine and things I don’t think are fine.

You've repeatedly called several posters mean and unkind because they won't share their paid for things, yet you don't share your kid's presents, experiences, days out....sounds like a hypocrite to me

No I don't take Tiny Tim to stand and watch - but neither does the OP, in fact she actively doesnt want them there so not sure why you're making this comparison?

Because I believe the local children in her block of flats will (in at least some cases) see Father Christmas and have to be told “No, he’s just here for those children, not you.” On Christmas Eve. Because they live in and use the communal spaces. And that does feel like flaunting it. Hence the difference between going to a grotto and inviting Father Christmas to stand in a shared hallway right in front of other kids who can’t join in.

You've repeatedly called several posters mean and unkind because they won't share their paid for things, yet you don't share your kid's presents, experiences, days out....sounds like a hypocrite to me

Again, no. You either don’t understand what hypocrisy means or you are pretending not to.

Oh come on people, OP has booked a visit as a treat for her DD, and is allowed to do this .
Can you imagine what the other child would think if the only person who received a gift was OP's DD .
The mum who wanted to send her child along to join in would have to deal with an upset child, so maybe the best thing to do is if asked again a out it to hand over the contact details and tell the other mother that she is welcome to call and book a visit for her child.

@mummmy2017

Oh come on people, OP has booked a visit as a treat for her DD, and is allowed to do this . Can you imagine what the other child would think if the only person who received a gift was OP's DD . The mum who wanted to send her child along to join in would have to deal with an upset child, so maybe the best thing to do is if asked again a out it to hand over the contact details and tell the other mother that she is welcome to call and book a visit for her child.

That's what most of us have said is a good idea but apparently some posters here have the intimate details of the neighbours' finances, have decided she can't afford it so the OP needs to share her experience

Jesus flaviaritt, you seem to have a serious amount of time on your hands. I notice you flounced but then returned, only to keep repeating your same points over and over again. Some really weird virtue signalling going on.

OP yanbu in the least.

@flaviaritt

No I don't take Tiny Tim to stand and watch - but neither does the OP, in fact she actively doesnt want them there so not sure why you're making this comparison?

Because I believe the local children in her block of flats will (in at least some cases) see Father Christmas and have to be told “No, he’s just here for those children, not you.” On Christmas Eve. Because they live in and use the communal spaces. And that does feel like flaunting it. Hence the difference between going to a grotto and inviting Father Christmas to stand in a shared hallway right in front of other kids who can’t join in.

Sorry, how exactly is it different? Kids can't join in on the grotto either. And it happens on Christmas Eve.

In this situation the neighbours ours know this is happening on Xmas eve and ca therefore find out the details and book the Santa themselves. But you've decided none of them can afford it for some reason

@flaviaritt

You've repeatedly called several posters mean and unkind because they won't share their paid for things, yet you don't share your kid's presents, experiences, days out....sounds like a hypocrite to me

Again, no. You either don’t understand what hypocrisy means or you are pretending not to.

No, I do - you're a hypocrite. You have clearly said you expect people to have kind and charitable standards, but you're not willing to have them yourself.

Jesus flaviaritt, you seem to have a serious amount of time on your hands.

So?

This is circuitous, Glummy.

But I'm NOT responsible for the neighbours kids having a nice Christmas though am I? At this point I don't even think you believe what you're saying you're arguing for argument's sake.

@flaviaritt
Put a sock in it will you! It is not mean to feel that you are paying for something and shouldn't be beholden to share it with all and sundry, whether it's Father Christmas or Mr Blobby!
There are appropriate times and places for doing nice community/neighbourhood things. This is not one of them. The OP wanted to do this for HER children, and used her own money for it. She doesn't want freeloaders, friends or otherwise, ruining it. Fair enough.

OP, you aren't being unreasonable in booking an exclusive event for your children and expecting it to remain that way. Your neighbour is definitely being cheeky for trying to invite herself and also telling others.

You have no control over what happens in shared spaces, so I think you need to move the event. Can you arrange to for Santa and Frozen to meet you at a relatives house instead, or even in small park or road? Although these are also public area, if you choose somewhere quiet, you are less likely to be interrupted.

As for your neighbours, just tell them you had discussed the arrangements with the company and you both agreed that you couldn't social distance properly so are coming to a different arrangement.

inappropriateraspberry

It isn’t up to you what I think or whether I choose to express it.

Julz1622

No, you are not. None of us are responsible for our neighbours. So you can be as mean as you like.

Ok, incase you have trouble reading, I did not say I don't want any other kids to see them, that is outwith my control. I do not want them coming to MY HOUSE or standing outside MY DOOR, one, because I have paid £50 for a special treat for my girls and I want Santa and Anna and Elsa to spend the time I've paid for speaking to them not half the block, and two because I suspect they will think I am taking the piss if they expect to see 2 kids and turn up to loads. Did you ever think that perhaps the neighborhood kids (who aren't expecting anything) might be thrilled to see Santa and Anna and Elsa even if it's just walking past their window? Or if they are standing in their homes watching them from the door? Because I do...

I think we all know the Grinch is in this thread

@flaviaritt

inappropriateraspberry

It isn’t up to you what I think or whether I choose to express it.

Goodness, give it a rest already! You’ve been hounding the OP from the beginning, I think you’ve more than made your point by now! Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

She is aware of where to book as she mentioned it to me that she had seen the advert on Facebook.