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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not invite my DDs friends.

662 replies

Julz1622 · 21/11/2020 11:29

I have booked a socially distanced visit from Santa and Anna and Elsa on Christmas Eve for my daughter (8) and the baby (10 months) I live in a block of flats, and I was telling one of the mum's of one of daughter's friends about it. She said oh let me know what time they are coming and I'll send 'name' across. She has also told a few of the other mums on the block. Now I know some people will think I am being selfish, but I've paid £50 for them to come visit my daughter, I don't want all the kids congregating and ruining it for my daughters.

OP posts:
AhoyMeFarties · 21/11/2020 11:31

You need to tell them it's not an open house. They may cancel if there are lots of families mixing

Loveable1 · 21/11/2020 11:33

Can you lie and say because of covid it’s just for your children that are on the booking form or they limit numbers etc.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 21/11/2020 11:33

Rude of them to assume their kids were invited. Surely they will see when they arrive though. For the peoples safety who are dressed up surely they wont want to be swarmed by a group of kids. Tell them because of social distancing it can only be the 2 kids.

JudyGemstone · 21/11/2020 11:35

Will your daughter enjoy the experience more if she gets to share it with her friends?

If so I'd let them come, it's not costing you anything extra

flaviaritt · 21/11/2020 11:37

Definitely rude of them not to ask BUT the idea of Father Christmas turning up on the street (especially after such a bloody miserable year) and the kids pressing their little faces to the glass and not being able to go out and see him because you only want your children to have the experience...

Well, it’s all a bit Scrooge, isn’t it?

Firefliess · 21/11/2020 11:38

If it's a socially distanced visit won't they just be waving in the windows anyway? Or do they actually come into your flat? It obviously won't be any kind of socially distanced if your flat is full of all the kids in the block! I don't think you'd be lying to tell them that's not permitted. Even if this is for after lockdown and you're in a tier 1 area, and they don't tighten the rules at all, the rule of 6 would be you, 2 kids, 3 visitors and max one more person.

Mittens030869 · 21/11/2020 11:38

I would just say it’s because of Covid that you won’t be inviting any friends. Easy get out right now. It would actually be a very bad idea anyway at this point in time.

Original poster
Julz1622 · 21/11/2020 11:39

It's not really Scrooge. If it was meant for the whole street then we would have all chipped in and paid for it so they could enjoy it together. I wanted to do a nice thing for my children?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 21/11/2020 11:39

Ignoring the covid aspect for a second, I do think it's a bit not in the spirit of Christmas to not let the children join in. That said, there's nothing wrong with you asking the others to split the cost with you.

flaviaritt · 21/11/2020 11:39

I read it, OP. That’s what I think. It’s tight as a duck’s arse, sorry.

Washimal · 21/11/2020 11:41

I doubt they would be willing to come if they knew they'd be expected to be mixing with kids from multiple households. I'm surprised they're willing to come into the flat at all to be honest.

Throwntothewolves · 21/11/2020 11:41

If it's socially distanced then the people doing the visit will be rightly annoyed if there are several kids there. Don't do that to them. In future maybe best keep these things to yourself as it would be annoying to have people joining in uninvited anyway regardless of Covid

AlexisIsMySpiritAnimal · 21/11/2020 11:42

@flaviaritt

Definitely rude of them not to ask BUT the idea of Father Christmas turning up on the street (especially after such a bloody miserable year) and the kids pressing their little faces to the glass and not being able to go out and see him because you only want your children to have the experience...

Well, it’s all a bit Scrooge, isn’t it?

Well they could just pay for their own kids y'know?! Pass the buck parenting at its best 🙄

Op, definitely use covid, say limited numbers ... one household... all the rest, blah blah.
If this was me I might have let my closest friends kids in but for Tom, Dick and Harry off the estate to just assume!! Ha, nope. What a cheek.

Original poster
Julz1622 · 21/11/2020 11:43

What they do is come to the door the stand in the close and speak to your child about Christmas and they leave sweety bags for them. If we lived in a house they would just do the same just stand on the doorstep

OP posts:
Storyoftonight · 21/11/2020 11:44

@flaviaritt

Definitely rude of them not to ask BUT the idea of Father Christmas turning up on the street (especially after such a bloody miserable year) and the kids pressing their little faces to the glass and not being able to go out and see him because you only want your children to have the experience...

Well, it’s all a bit Scrooge, isn’t it?

No. OP paid 50 pound for an experience and the whole street is too have it for free? OP is not the tight one here.
Original poster
Julz1622 · 21/11/2020 11:44

Also the only reason I mentioned it to her was because she said she had seen them advertising in Facebook and her brother had booked Spiderman and Santa visit for her nephew.

OP posts:
WoWsers16 · 21/11/2020 11:44

I don't think it's rude at all- you've booked it for your children, I'd just pass on the contact details if they want to book it for their children but I totally see and agree with your point of view xx

flaviaritt · 21/11/2020 11:45

My thinking is just a world away from that of some of the people on here. I don’t care who’s paying for it (though they should offer to chip in). I wouldn’t do this. If others disagree that’s fine by me. The OP did ask for opinions and this is mine.

sapnupuas · 21/11/2020 11:45

You can't exactly stop them, can you?

PinkiOcelot · 21/11/2020 11:46

I would double check how many children they’re actually prepared to meet with tbh. They may only be able to meet with a couple.
If not, you’ve paid £50 regardless of whether just your 2 or every kid in the neighbourhood. Will your 10 month old even realise what’s going on?

Mrsjayy · 21/11/2020 11:47

You are just going to have to brazen it out and not tell her anymore about it if you don't want them at your door too. I would mention something about covid restrictions if she talks about it again, I'm not sure why you told her though.

AuntieMarys · 21/11/2020 11:48

Cheeky mare

cameocat · 21/11/2020 11:50

The thing is, if the other children see them in your block they will assume that it is the real Santa and won't understand why he is only visiting one child. It could cause a huge amount of upset. I think you need to tell them when they're coming to either keep them out of the way or contact the team and pay their own £50.

AhoyMeFarties · 21/11/2020 11:50

@flaviaritt

I read it, OP. That’s what I think. It’s tight as a duck’s arse, sorry.
Why? She has paid for it as a treat for her children not the whole bloody block You want a treat for your children you organise it and you pay for it
flaviaritt · 21/11/2020 11:52

Why? She has paid for it as a treat for her children not the whole bloody block

Because children believe in Father Christmas and it’s a precious, fragile thing. I can’t see the reasonableness in asking someone to come to your house dressed up as him with all the fanfare (a sleigh? reindeer? Elsa and Anna?) and expecting your neighbours to explain to their children why he is only interested in the children at number 66. It’s mean spirited and I find it shocking that anyone would consider it for a moment.