If you pour yourself a glass of wine, must you also pour one for every adult in the house?

[ElephantsAlltheWayDown]

Genuinely curious. My husband and I don't see eye to eye on this. I think if I'm cooking (it's almost always while I'm cooking) and I fancy a glass of wine, and no other adults are in the room, I should just pour myself one and drink it. DH thinks this is the height of bad manners, and to be truly civilised one must hunt down every other adult in the house, inquire whether they too would like a glass of wine, and fetch them one if so.

I think this is ridiculous, and if it were enshrined in law I would rather forego the wine than have to traipse around asking other people if they too want a glass and then delivering it. Of course if someone was in the room with me I would absolutely offer them a glass.

If it matters, neither of us are big drinkers. The bottle in question tonight had been half empty for over a week, so it's not like we both share an evening glass at the same time every night and I was breaking some tradition (in contrast to coffee -- we always take turns bringing each other a morning cup). He just thinks it's plain weird and bad manners that I'll pour a glass without offering him one.

YABU: Not offering wine? Absolutely vulgar.
YANBU: Wtf is this weird idea

Hell no! If I want the wine, I pour the wine and drink the wine. No regard for my DP at all 😂🍷

I'd always offer DH a glass of wine if I was pouring one for myself. Same way I'd offer him a cup of tea if I was making one.

If I was having a drink I’d offer one to DP as well he does for me also

Different rules for the chef, IMO. You can have a glass with impunity.

Of course if anyone comes in to the kitchen you offer.

If you're lounging around elsewhere in the house then you have to offer it round

FedUp doesn't share wine.

Absolutely not, I do not share wine

Height of rudeness, sorry OP.

How many adults are hanging round different corners of your house? How much effort is involved?
I never make or pour a drink without offering it round. Anything less seems selfish.

YABU to drink wine that’s been open for over a week! Surely not delicious?!

If he's in the same room you could maybe offer. Otherwise, no I wouldn't go into other rooms of the house asking.

Ha ha! I would always offer round - it’s a social thing isn’t it, same as making tea or coffee. If it was a glass of squash I wouldn’t bother.

If they weren't on the same floor of the house, no. I sometimes text DH if he's upstairs and I'm making a brew.

Actually, there's your compromise. Text him to say you're opening wine and does he want any, and if he does reply 'Ok, it's here in the kitchen, come and get it'. He's rude expecting it to be delivered!

Hell no

I don't have this problem, living alone, but I don't think it's bad manners at all. If this carry-on starts with wine, where does it end ? Sometimes, logical conclusions don't equal sensible solutions.

Horrified by the voting on this. I thought mnetters were better than this. You filthy abimals.

If I was cooking fir him as well as myself, there is no way I'd leave everything to go and find him and I'd let him know that when he's cooking for me for the rest of the week, he's more than welcome to have a glass without offering me one

Hmmm I think I'd offer to make any adult a drink of whatever I was having. But my place is tiny, I could whisper the offer from my kitchen and be heard.
In fact the sound of the fridge door opening would bring people out looking anyway.

I would if they are in the room or within shouting distance.

I wouldn’t go around the house tracking people down if I were cooking.

If he’s so bothered he can make a habit of coming in and offering to pour you a glass while you cook!

I think, if you're getting any kind of drink for yourself it's polite to offer one to others within shouting distance

Not if it's cook's perks, I wouldn't.

Text them and tell them to come and get it.

No I wouldn't leave the kitchen while I was cooking to offer every adult in the house a glass of wine.

I’m with you op. When I’m cooking the roast, I quite often pour myself a glass of wine. If dh is nearby, then I may offer him one. However, if he’s upstairs, then I’d wait until he came downstairs.

Don’t consider it rude at all.

My oh doesn,t drink wine, bt their have been times i have poured myself a wine and he is annoyed as I haven,t offered him a drink. And yeh he is probably in the right.

I wouldn't ask usually DP, because she doesn't drink much and almost never white, which is my preference. If I were drinking red I'd probably offer.

But I think if he finds it rude, you not bothering to ask him is rude. Because you know he'd appreciate being asked. For me it'd be a quick yell up the stairs and him fetching it, mind, as if you're cooking you're busy.

I'd never make a cuppa without asking DP.