To think my boss's wife is being paranoid

[Hop27]

Work closely with my boss, I'm the most senior person in his management team. We had a big win recently so went out to celebrate (with partners), it ended up being a boozy night. As I went to leave with my DH I hugged everyone goodbye. The next day my boss was worried that he'd been a little over familiar, because his wife pulled him up on it saying he'd been inappropriate.
A few weeks later, we are in another city with work it had been a big day and we had a late dinner in the hotel bar, with a couple of drinks. His wife called around 10pm and said again he was being inappropriate drinking with me alone. He then got the cold treatment for the rest of the trip, she wouldn't take his calls etc and you could tell he was upset. I am doing the wrong thing? I enjoy his company, but that's it I am very happily married. Is she paranoid or am I over stepping the mark by having a drink with him?

Nothing wrong with your behaviour, however now you are aware his wife isn't happy maybe be more mindful about how your interactions with him may be perceived, try to think if you had said something to your husband about his behaviour you weren't so keen on and he kept doing it, you wouldn't be happy.
But please, do not feel bad, now you know, just modify a bit.
Also, ignore the judgements..!
🙂

Mumsnet is a strange place.

The wife sounds bat shit. Are you younger, more attractive?

I feel sorry for the man's wife. Why would she behave like this if everything was OK? Knowing she is unhappy would be enough for me to steer clear regardless of my opinion of her.

@Pumperthepumper what @LolaSmiles and @SchrodingersImmigrant said. A woman who has been at home for several years possibly won’t get the dynamics of office relationships. And probably pissed off that her husband won’t go straight home to do bathtime but goes to the pub for a quick drink instead. A “quick drink with Marie” blows up in her mind as “oh my god he is having an affair/about to have an affair with Marie” whereas “a quick drink with James” won’t provoke the same reaction at all.

I feel sorry for the man's wife. Why would she behave like this if everything was OK? Knowing she is unhappy would be enough for me to steer clear regardless of my opinion of her.

Lots of people act unreasonably for no reason at all! I wouldn't be changing my perfectly reasonable behaviour for an unreasonable partner.

You are both being unprofessional, it's not appropriate to go out drinking with colleagues except in the context of a team meal out to celebrate. Then drop the hugging, it's not professional behaviour. Your boss should know better and, being senior management, so should you

What, it is?
Must go back and tell all my colleague from the last 15 years we have clearly been doing it wrong
Guess you’re also don’t think colleagues can’t be friends either?

Op you’ve done nothing wrong.
Whatever the issues are they are hers and her dp.
It is ok to go out for drinks with colleagues, to be friends, to hug and to drink/be friends with the opposite sex without meaning you want to shag them.
The posts state it gives you a poor look, seriously?
I pity the people who feels this way, you have low opinions of yourselves and others.

@Bookworming. I feel sorry for the wife too. And I have a suspicion the OP quite enjoys the drama she is creating,

I see there are a few paranoid wives on here 🌺

Tread carefully

Who knows what your boss has done in the last to make his wife feel like this. You need to show her some respect though. Also, be aware the if you overstep they mark she could put pressure on him to ensure you no longer work there!

@londonscalling

Who knows what your boss has done in the last to make his wife feel like this. You need to show her some respect though. Also, be aware the if you overstep they mark she could put pressure on him to ensure you no longer work there!

This is crazy!

The wife has some issue, none of OP’s business.

This is not the 1950s. Women should not have to tread carefully incase the boss’s wife demands they are sacked.

I worked with a man years ago whose wife was like this. Everyone though she was crazy. Management took a very dim view of it all, and it really impacted on the man’s credibility.

That’s how it should be, not women tip toeing around men incase their wives get jealous.

That's how it should be but its not an ideal world, as we know.

"You need to show her some respect though. "

Why?

" it's not appropriate to go out drinking with colleagues except in the context of a team meal out to celebrate. "

What? First you can't drink alone with someone above you or below you (almost everyone for me then!). Now it's not appropriate to go for drinks with colleagues except for a celebration - and that has to be a meal apparently!! Can't believe what I'm reading.

I had zero respect for the batshit crazy women who rang me in the small hours and even less for the woman who told me I looked like the sort of girl to have an affair with a married man.

I also had no respect for my last boss’s wife who called him all the fucking time at work and when he was out having a rare drink with his team.

Who knows what your boss has done in the last to make his wife feel like this. You need to show her some respect though. Also, be aware the if you overstep they mark she could put pressure on him to ensure you no longer work there

@londonscalling are you the crazy wife?

When I drink with make work colleagues I don't think I have to give their wives respect.

I think. We are two adults having a drink together, not shagging!

As for "she may pressure him to get rid of you". Do people really think that they can just ensure their husbands only work with male employees?

@BlueThistles

I see there are a few paranoid wives on here 🌺

Yay 👏 👏 👏 for the misogyny

"Yay 👏 👏 👏 for the misogyny"

I think the misogyny prizes go to those who say women can't socialise with their colleagues let they pose a threat to the colleagues' wives.

I think the misogyny was suggest female employees need to respect their bosses wife incase they gay sacked

Still reeling from that nugget 😂😂😂

@Ideasplease322

I think the misogyny was suggest female employees need to respect their bosses wife incase they gay sacked

Still reeling from that nugget 😂😂😂

It would be a glorious case in the employment tribunal, I must say.