Things not to say to a pregnant woman

[UnicornAndSparkles]

"If you think you're exhausted now..."

"Gosh you look shattered!"

"Sleep deprivation isn't real in pregnancy, it's after the baby is here that you'll feel awful!"

Helpful?! No! And yes, I remember the sleep deprivation and exhaustion post-baby very well, as my "baby" is only 3. But pregnancy + HG + a toddler is exhausting!

What happened to "if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything?!"

Look how big you've got.

Are you sure there's just one in there.

detailed horrific birth stories

‘Should you be eating/drinking that?’

Are you sure it's not triplets?

"Oh Wow you are huge, are you sure it's not twins?"

Look how big you've got

Yes, also also ‘your bump is really small isn’t it’. Cue panic that baby isn’t growing properly!

@PhannyPharts

detailed horrific birth stories

My sil does this when I'm pregnant

“You are too... big/small/fat/thin” etc any comment on your appearance other than “you look gorgeous” is unacceptable.

Also to a first time mum to be don’t ever tell them the first 6 weeks were the worst 6 weeks of your life!

You look great with the extra weight

Why say 'weight'? Why mention how i look at all!!!!?

'It'll be so hard to lose the weight once youve had a baby'

Oh your really small. (equally as bad as big)

You're only pregnant, not ill. (I'm aware of that and I haven't stopped doing the things that I always do. Which is more that you ever do, you lazy bitch.

Was it planned? (Yes, rude)

Is it the same dad? (Yes, it's my husband's but it's none of your business either way)

I remember being in the Supermarket knowing that the cashier was going to make some comment about my size. She said,
"Wow, you look ready to drop!"
So I just smiled and said "yes, not long now."
Cue DH: "What are you on about you've got AAAAGES yet! Ha ha..."

In December, 'Oh how lovely, a Christmas baby!'
When you're due in May 😭

Oh you're big is it twins?

Did you have ivf?

Oh yes. When you're pregnant it seems to trigger a huge urge in other people to start telling you their birth stories. Hilarious, tragic or terrifying. Men and women do this.

Surely it's obvious that when a woman is pregnant yourself it is the time they will LEAST want to hear about all the things which can go wrong!?

From a colleague, just passing my desk, no hello or excuse me: “oh my god you’re enormous”.

"Your bump is really huge/small" Whyyyyyyy say either of those things?? I used to hear both in the same day

Worst thing to say to someone you think is pregnant ... "thought you would have had her by now."

When the response is, I have, she's in the car, I wanted to die!

knowing look at toddler
"you're going to have your hands full"

Now baby is here "you've got your hands full"

I just do a deadpan "yeah" now. Can't be doing with strangers and their repetitive shite.

@Bubblebox the same dad question! Yes i had that.

Cashier in Tesco. Nice woman. We chat. She's seen me with my older DDs (teens back then) a couple of times. Me pregnant - she notices and congratulates. Asks if older ones are excited ect. All good. Then ...

So - (as she scans the shopping) - it is the same dad?

Me: and answers out of politeness!

God yes. Also. I just really dont want any of your 10-50 year old advice as to how YOU think I should be looking after MY baby or MY body.

After we told them the news DPs grandma said 'oh I thought you pale when you came in' (we did discuss I had been feeling a bit sick but still..!)

I'm only 9 weeks so got all of it to come. Can't wait to see their faces when I can get back in the gym and lifting heavy weights!! :D

"Have you been up to something naughty?" from a middle age man was one of the worst ones for me. Just out of the blue, not someone I'd ever had anything related kind of conversation with (business acquaintance) and in front of my kids too.

I don't know how some people's minds work with some of these comments.

"I can't believe you've told work already, what if you lose it?"

I worked with teens who could be violent and had to have a risk assessment.

She was a member of staff at said job.

Also rolled her eyes at me saying I wanted a home birth and told me about her horrendous induction (she definitely needed to have someone support her to work through it, which I get, but come on) and whenever anyone mentioned how big I was (I'm quite small in stature) she scoffed and said "you're not that big". From other people, I had "don't put your arms above your head, I had a miscarriage" and "how can you find out what it is? That's the whole point of having a baby, for the surprise!" Yeah that's definitely why everyone should have a baby and not a fucking kinder egg.

Oh and "But what are you going to DO?" ...erm... have a fucking child? Why are you questioning my decision to have a baby?