Things not to say to a pregnant woman

[UnicornAndSparkles]

"If you think you're exhausted now..."

"Gosh you look shattered!"

"Sleep deprivation isn't real in pregnancy, it's after the baby is here that you'll feel awful!"

Helpful?! No! And yes, I remember the sleep deprivation and exhaustion post-baby very well, as my "baby" is only 3. But pregnancy + HG + a toddler is exhausting!

What happened to "if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything?!"

Or you look quite neat, if you have a small bump. That one is annoying, we are all aware of the size of our bumps without someone pointing it out

Yes to the your bump is so small thing! I had this all the time. One woman (stranger) called over her family to get them to confirm that my bump was indeed small, that so-and-so friend of theirs was just as far along and so much bigger than me, and wasn't it funny. Not funny to me, I was very worried that he wasn't growing properly.

Also second the 'was it planned'? So rude! I felt like they were trying to catch me out. Say no, oh look made a mistake. Say yes, and the implication was it was not a good plan. A simple "congratulations!" Suffices people!

I saw a t-shirt I'm thinking of buying saying I'm not fat I'm pregnant.

And I got the "sleep while you can" i actually got better sleep when I wasnt pregnant and getting booted in the ribs all night or waking 20 times for a pee. I basically slept as long as the baby slept lol.

I've not had many comments this time yet but then I'm a lot fatter than I was when I had dd so I can hide it longer.

A client at work, on my last day before maternity leave, asked why I was finishing? I replied I’m going on maternity leave.

He said “bloody hell what are you having, a guinea pig?” !! (I was quite small at the time for 36 weeks and paranoid about it).

And also...

Don’t ever ask someone who you know is pregnant and overdue: “Oh gosh have you not had your baby yet?” like I have (twice).

Both times they had had the baby a few days before but still looked pregnant. It was excruciating both times when they pointed out the nearby baby in the pram.

I got my karma when my hairdresser asked me when I was due after having dc3 a couple of weeks before!

@RonObvious
Mine too. My cervix always had other ideas.

I had "You can't be about to go on leave, you're tiny!"
With my second - "Oh, you've popped!"
Gee thanks. Then of course there's the "Don't let him get too hot/cold." comments when the baby arrives.

I hate it when people say to me ‘I’m going to get you a present but not til the baby is here, just in case’.

I don’t care about whether anyone gets me a present, but please don’t tell me you’re holding off just in case something terrible happens to my baby! No pregnant woman wants that possibility put in her head.

I also hated how many people gave the ‘I knew you were pregnant because... insert stupid reason here’
It was irrational just how much this one pissed me off.
(You wore a baggy jumper - I wore it weekly so no)
(You didn’t have wine at the Christmas drinks - I’ve not drank in 9 years AND I wasn’t even pregnant at the Christmas drinks)
(You didn’t smile as much when we last went out for dinner, I knew you were sick - no that’s because I hate you and getting fed up of suffering your company!)

That felt cathartic to get of my chest. I’ve had it this time even though I’ve not seen another soul since before I got pregnant 😂

Have you tried ginger?

My FIL was the worst. ‘Should you be doing that?’ Which then progressed to ‘I don’t think you should be doing that.’ ‘How’s my baby?’, followed by an unsolicited stomach grab 🤮.

And then since the baby was born I’ve had CONSTANT stupid comments and actions (in swaddling the sleeping baby...) that make me want to throw knives.

Unswaddling*

Had to have extra testing and was TLS depending on outcome may have to terminate at almost 6 months. SIL said ‘you’re still young, you can just have another one’

Oh yes! The people who just knew it.

My face was getting wider. I was eating lots of bread.

I once accidentally remarked that a colleague looked very pregnant before she did her test. In my defense part of her job shouldn't be done while pregnant so in previous pregnancies we handed that out to her male colleague. I once walked in with a new project, looked at her and said "oh, I have this type of project but looking at you shall I give it to male colleague then?". She said yes and later told me she hadn't even tested yet but decided to after my remark. She was indeed pregnant .

I had a very neat bump with my twins, and constantly had comments along the lines of "are you sure there's two in there?!", which I found to be grossly insensitive as it effectively implied that I had lost one??

‘Ohh you’ve been busy in lockdown’

Yes, Mildred. But I was also busy prior to lockdown, trying to fall pregnant, after having a miscarriage.

Anyone with the bloody stupid and unnecessary ‘just you wait...’ comments can fuck all the way off. Then keep going. I hate it. It’s patronising and dismissive - and if it comes from men it makes me positively murderous! I did ask one bloke who kept on with the ‘just you wait...’ bullshit where he kept his birth canal as he seemed to know everything.

I also had multiple tell me ‘you should’ve stopped being sick by 12 weeks’. No sunshine. You had stopped being sick by 12 weeks. I had HG and was hospitalised. Don’t you bloody dare tell me what should or shouldn’t be happening to me.

I am pregnant. I haven’t put my brain in the bin.

I used to know a woman who every time I saw her thought it was so very funny to insist I was having triplets..

I'd put a scan photo up - "what about the other two babies"

She would comment on my size "there is definitely more than one in there"

Eventually one day I snapped. Told her I'd had multiple scans that showed one baby and I wasn't even that big (multiple growth scans needed during pregnancy because baby was actually quite a bit on the small side!) Her joke wasn't funny and she needed to pack it in. I can't stand people who take one joke and run with it.

Reader, she still carried on so I blocked her and now have nothing further to do with her. Bloody bitch.

“You’re only pregnant, why can’t you work from home on your laptop?”

As I vomited blood, could barely stand and ended up being admitted to hospital for IV fluids.

A work colleague told me that children ruin your life when I was expecting the first one .
Certainly changes your life but hasn't ruined it! Drama queen.

Have you tried ginger biscuits? No, I like throwing up half a dozen times a day for 7 months and I didn't think to try the most talked about remedy!

Also more distressingly I had someone detail all their miscarriages at random when I was about 5 months...

People telling me to get as much rest as I could before baby arrives....

I already had a 2.5 year old. How much ‘rest’ did they think I would be getting?