Things not to say to a pregnant woman

[UnicornAndSparkles]

"If you think you're exhausted now..."

"Gosh you look shattered!"

"Sleep deprivation isn't real in pregnancy, it's after the baby is here that you'll feel awful!"

Helpful?! No! And yes, I remember the sleep deprivation and exhaustion post-baby very well, as my "baby" is only 3. But pregnancy + HG + a toddler is exhausting!

What happened to "if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything?!"

On telling my boss I was expecting, he said "Fuck a duck, how old are you?"

When my husband hadn't see a colleague for a while (different offices) and bumped into her at the Christmas buffet...
"Gosh you must be due anytime about now."
"Erm ... I had my baby three months ago."
In his defence he hadn't really looked at her stomach area but my god how crap must she have felt thinking she still looked 9 months pregnant. He apologised madly and shuffled off. Just don't comment on anything unless asked by the pregnant woman!

My 4 year old said to someone we bumped into in the supermarket (only know slightly):

"Do you think your baby will die or will it be healthy and come out to play? Our baby died so we don't have it with us."

(we had recently had a stillborn baby and had to do a lot of talking about this with him.)

@Japa - I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the agony for you & your family. Bless your son for being so articulate - sounds like you're doing a great job of talking to him about his emotions.

An acquaintance, who had recently found out (from someone else) that I was pregnant:

Her: have you been feeling ill? I was so sick [insert long ramble about her pregnancy sickness which sounded horrific but also absolutely no one had asked her for]
Me: no, I've been very lucky, I haven't had any nausea
Her (looking furious): well I hope you've spoken to the midwife about that because I read that normally means you'll lose the baby
Me:

To be fair, she didn't actually know that this was my fourth pregnancy not my first because I'd had three miscarriages - but even if I hadn't, what a thing to say!

All true things that were actually said to me AT CHURCH.

Are you still pregnant?
Who ate all the pies
Are you sure you are not having twins?

Girl at work 'you alright fatty?' I was carrying a baby not sure what her excuse was.

'You're waddling' was said by my mother the day I went in to be induced.

Your bump is small/big.

Or when people try and tell people horror stories and the lack of sleep. Not every baby is the same!!!

eyeoresancerre - thank you for your kind words. It was a few years ago now. Time is a great healer etc. But I still cringe about this poor pregnant woman in the supermarket. His words did upset her.

DP's mother warned me not to go rushing every time my baby cried because they were very manipulative and would learn that crying got them what they wanted.

Eh? I can't even begin to unpick all the levels of wrong there.

All compounded by DP's dad telling me I should listen to her because she knew what she was doing, having 'reared' 5 children of her own. I remember muttering about Daniel O'Donnell having loads of albums, but it hadn't made him into a good singer. But I was too chicken to say it out loud!

That was a picnic. Things got much worse when DS was born.

"When we (MIL and SIL) found out you were pregnant, we cried". These were not tears of joy but because of crazy SIL.

I'm still very hurt by it.

@DPotter

Was it a mistake? pointing at my bump

Aren't you a bit old ? I was 38

I had so much of this when out heavily pregnant with no4 with the other 3 in tow.

"Pregnancy is not an illness".

Fucking bitch. At the time I had no idea that I have a number of chronic conditions which were contributing to a very precarious and painful confinement. But all the same - I hate that woman.

All the horrific birth stories came out to play - I just covered my ears and said to save them for after the birth.

MiL took the biscuit though. We announced our pregnancy to her and she immediately reeled off a list of people she knew who had miscarried. I was very very anxious and this sent me into a tailspin for the rest of the first trimester.

"You look better when you're not so thin, why don't you keep some of the weight on?"

It really doesn't work that way. I think most people have a default weight when the eat normally, you can't just twist a dial and choose to be slightly bigger!