Things not to say to a pregnant woman

[UnicornAndSparkles]

"If you think you're exhausted now..."

"Gosh you look shattered!"

"Sleep deprivation isn't real in pregnancy, it's after the baby is here that you'll feel awful!"

Helpful?! No! And yes, I remember the sleep deprivation and exhaustion post-baby very well, as my "baby" is only 3. But pregnancy + HG + a toddler is exhausting!

What happened to "if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything?!"

Looking at my toddler and my bump and telling me with a gleeful grimace ‘you’re going to have your hands full with those two’. Perfectly normal nearly 3 year gap,

Anything.

was it planned?

You must be nearly due!

'Nope still got 8 weeks' 😬

The amount of men I work with who instantly made remarks about being busy on Valentine's Day when they found out I was due in November. Yuck

Any horrific birth stories 😳

I remember passing a colleague at work (fairly close colleague, we used to have lunch together etc...) when I was 16 weeks gone and she said really loud 'BLOODY HELL YOUR BIG FOR 16 WEEKS YOUR BABY IS GOING TO BE HUGE'. I've always been overweight so my belly looked the same size, just slightly rounded and bloated. She knew this, she knew that my 'bump' wasnt all baby but took great joy in announcing it to everyone within earshot.

Same colleague decided not to speak to me for the rest of my pregnancy until one day she came over to my new office with a manager who wanted to give me a gift and wish me luck. I thought it was nice of her to come too. Until I recieved a text off another colleague telling me that she'd walked straight into my old office and told everyone that I was absolutely massive.

Dont know why she was so bothered by the size of my bump.

Was it planned 😡😡

“Is it the same dad as last time?”

Helpful replies,

'No, still working my way through the United forward line, getting onto the midfield in a couple of year' (use your local team for 'United').

'Can't remember, have you got your hunsband's photo to check?'

'I didn't realise you were pregnant. I thought you were just fat.'

“You’re pregnant, not sick.”

No, I have hyperemesis gravidarum and have been admitted to hospital with a pulse of 140, ketones +++ and severe dehydration requiring many bags of IV fluid.

So when is the baby due?
four months after you have given birth

I'm dreading announcing it and anyone asking "was it planned?!". Keep fantasising about what I'll say back but in reality, I'll probably just get embarrassed and chicken out on calling them out for being so rude!

I know folk probably don't mean any harm but, when you really think about, it's just a polite way of asking if you forgot to use protection 😂 Didn't know people were so interested in your sex life! Could also be upsetting for someone who struggled to get pregnant. It's just so personal, whatever the circumstance and I will never understand why it's often the first reaction.

Oooh Lizadork that reminds me of the first time i met my DHs family. It's a bit of a ramble but it's something i've never forgotten. (partly because of my guilt about not doing anything about it!)

It was a family house party at his parents and he'd bought me round to meet everyone. His new nephew was about 8 weeks old and i'd been holding him earlier in the kitchen while chatting with DHs mum for the first time. She had told me that SIL couldn't wait to meet me and had got all dressed up for the party and was feeling good for the first time since having DN. She'd been struggling with her confidence). I walked into the hall and DHs uncle was standing there and we said hello. At that moment SIL started coming down the stairs in a lovely sparkly dress. I looked up and she was all smiley, saw me and said a big Hello :) I got ready to say she looked lovely and her baby was lovely ect.

But Uncle next to me piped up in a big booming voice ''Bloody hell [SIL name] i was told you'd HAD the baby?!'' HA HA HA HA HA !!

Well, she turned and went straight back upstairs and i didn't see her again that night :(
I wish i'd had the guts to say something to the uncle OR gone upstairs to SIL, but having just been introduced to the whole family as the brand new GF i didn't feel i could do anything :(

Everyone always goes on about jolly uncle M but i've never forgotten that. Wanker.

Ohh your bump is neat / small.....or I’m absolutely bricking it as my babies stopped growing properly, going to be induced and put in nicu but thanks for making me think about it again

"Any signs yet?" ... I'M NOT DUE UNTIL THE WEEKEND AND ALSO I'M NOT THE SORT OF PERSON WHO IS GOING TO GIVE YOU A RUNNING NARRATION OF THE INTRICACIES OF MY CERVIX.
;-)

Actually the one that has genuinely annoyed me the most is "well you'll have to..." followed by me being told I will need to be giving up something that I love forever or being told that I need to spend loads of money on a pointless household appliance that I don't need.

Was it a mistake? pointing at my bump

Aren't you a bit old ? I was 38

My son was late, and down the pub one night the usual "you still here then?" to which I replied "no - this is a holgraphic image, I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise in the Alpha quadant - what did you think?" Silence. No further comments. I went home in a foul temper, and DS was born the next day!

@BiBabbles

"Have you been up to something naughty?" from a middle age man was one of the worst ones for me. Just out of the blue, not someone I'd ever had anything related kind of conversation with (business acquaintance) and in front of my kids too.

I don't know how some people's minds work with some of these comments.

ew, really?

It's been a long time since I was pregnant but I hated when people I barely knew touched my stomach

"Oh you don't look pregnant from behind."

"Your bump is tiny!"

I had both of these right before my growth scan which was booked due to concern over my bump measurements so obviously made me feel great.

Another classic is "was it planned?"

"Haha do you think you would have actually fit in the seat anyway" when asking someone if they wanted some theatre tickets because I'd double booked myself!

‘You’ve not put much weight on at all, have you?’

Said in I expected you to be a really fat cow in pregnancy because you struggle with your weight normally.

Yes big age gap here and have lost count of the people who ask if it's the same dad or ask my husband if he's excited to have his first child!!
Also when I was off with horrendous morning sickness and my manager kept telling me that his wife didn't have a single day off sick when she was pregnant. I work in a supermarket and asked if he'd prefer me to come in and be sick over the fruit and vegetables. He didn't say it again.

"what are you having?".....at a rough guess I'd say a baby...does it matter what sex it is???

“You’re stupid having another one”

Said to me by my ex’s ex wife when I was 21 weeks pregnant because she didn’t like the fact that this was baby number 4. Regardless of her opinions on my reproductive choices, you just don’t say shit like that to a pregnant woman.
My friend lost her baby at 21 weeks, so comments like hers really piss me off.