To think she's perfect?

[selfimprove21]

In a nutshell, I'm jealous of my sister in law.

She's slim, blonde, very beautiful, got a good job, dresses great, went public school and she's really confident, my in laws love her and she has a lot of friends. She has very rich parents and a gorgeous home, no money worries etc and she seems nice too!

I hate myself for it but I'm so jealous! She is simply better than me in every way.

How do you overcome this?!

Well life isn't fair. Some people genuinely do have easy lives and nothing bad ever happens to them.

Personally, I would see her as little as possible, give her as little head space as possible and concentrate on developing my own attributes and life.

But you do wittier mumsnet posts....

Hopefully she is happy and well and continues to have a good life. What do you want from her? She not actually taking anything from you.

Remind yourself of the saying that 'comparison is the thief of joy'.

No doubt there are people out there who are prettier, slimmer, richer, and better educated than your SIL. Maybe she feels equally jealous of them?

I have a friend a bit like that, but I'm not jealous. A lot of those things come with some pressure - pressure to always look good, to be nice etc.
I'm very close to my friend and although in many ways her life is perfect, she still has a lot of the usual stresses and strains we all go through. I don't think she walks around thinking her life is perfect. Just do you, OP.

You don't like you much, that's the reason. Don't take it on her. She is probably lovely...

i read this on another thread

"dont judge your behind the scenes on someone elses showreel"

(or similar) ie - you dont see all the bits that she doesnt chose to show

Why compare? Why care?

There are loads of people who are "better" than me, loads of people "worse". Doesnt diminish my value as a person or cancel it out. This is ours and simple down to self worth and, in a kind way, work on yours x

I'm sure she's lovely but there isn't a finite amount of lovely to go round. Her strengths don't take anything away from you and you should focus on the things that are great about you. I'm sure there's lots of stuff.

In reality she could be miserable and it could all be a front. You just never know, so try not to be jealous but be happy that you're happy because you have no clue if she is or not

Shes probably got permanent thrush and bad breath..seriously just stop comparing You are two different people im sure you look great and are a lovely person too.

People are complex. Things like "attractive", "nice house", "lots of friends" don't necessarily mean much in the scheme of things. Focus on making your life 1% better every day - learn new skill/improve existing ones, new hobbies, strengthen relationships, make your job better/more enjoyable. Try and do it for a year.

Being slim is genetic on the whole, so is being beautiful.
Dresses well? Anybody can dress well.
Going to public school and having rich parents says far more about her parents than her.

I don't see that there are lots of things to be jealous of there. You will have good points yourself and good things in your life that she might be jealous of.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

The brother's penis thing made me

Sorry.

OP - accept the jealousy and go on. Everyone is jealous of someone at some point in their life, it's natural. There are people that would swap lives with you too remember.

I used to think this of someone I knew.
Adoring husband, fantastic job, well off, lots of friends and physically attractive. Yet it turned out she was actually deeply unhappy and ended up divorcing her husband.
You never really know what goes on behind closed doors.

@Cam77 I absolutely love that. 1% better.. it feels so achievable. I'm going to try that one in relation to my self care and health.

What's so bad about you then?

Grass isn't always greener and all that.

She must be lucky, which is great!

But I am sure you are a lovely person as well, that people like being around of! It's ok to be envious sometimes, we are all humans after all, but you should rather focus on what makes you a loveable individual, one little aspect at a time: a skill, a personality trait, a physical one, a quirk... all those small things that make up a beautiful person. One good personal affirmation a day will make you glow!

I see that some of the posters above prefer to try to find the flaws in this woman they have never met, which says far more about them than about OP or her SIL. How about rather uplifting OP rather than push down her SIL?

@PatriciaPerch

I think if you start imagining your brother in laws penis it is only going to get more complicated

😂

OP, if she's nice and not all snobby and horrible to you, whats the problem?

Nobody is perfect.

And rich people who private school their kids certainly aren’t.

Having more money does not make someone a better person. Nor does having attended public school. Or being good looking, for that matter.

Comparison is the thief of joy OP.

Two brothers and you think one of them has done very well... I doubt it’s that obvious to people who are not you - ie you sound a bit down on yourself.

Are the brothers similar?

Well look at it like this .You married 2 Brothers .So you must have a lot about you to attract her DHs Bro! Stop putting yourself down .For all you know she may be a tiny bit jealous of you too! Often I have envied friends of mine ,and even sometimes one of my SIL as well! Probe deeper though and everything isnt always what it seems! You are all part of one family now .Its not a competition you know!