To tell my parents I know they lost a baby before having me?

[upbowcreek]

Name changed ad this is very sensitive.

I am in my 40s and researching my family history. I have discovered that my parents lost a baby in the third trimester.

They have never mentioned it to me.
Looks like my mum was already expecting when they got married although she may not have known.
I strongly suspect they would not have had me if the baby had survived.

It feels wrong for me not to acknowledge that I know this as I am usually quite open with them.

DH says if they wanted me to know they would have told me so I should keep up the pretence and not upset them.

WWYD?

YABU do not say anything
YANBU tell them you know

I mean with more children when I say accidentally pregnant

Op even if they had of not lost their child, you are making the assumption they wouldn't of had another one. Why?

My dm lost a boy at 7months before she had my eldest brother he would have been 44ish. I knew of him but it wasnt discussed very much, I couldn't tell you his birthday. My mother has mentioned things in passing before and it upsets her but back then it wasn't handled with the care and support it is now. My own mother didn't even get to see her baby left alone hold, touch or say goodbye, apparently it was easier that way. The baby was then buried in a group plot she since found out excately where but times were considerably difficult back then.

Wow some people are being really unpleasant. Do you really think OP is some kind of psychopath only on here to justify her need to upset someone?

@upbowcreek I can see why you would be troubled by this information, but I agree with your husband as well. This will upset your parents, and you, a lot more than to just acknowledge that it happened at your end.

Those feelings will dissipate over time.