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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my parents I know they lost a baby before having me?

429 replies

upbowcreek · 18/11/2020 17:08

Name changed ad this is very sensitive.

I am in my 40s and researching my family history. I have discovered that my parents lost a baby in the third trimester.

They have never mentioned it to me.
Looks like my mum was already expecting when they got married although she may not have known.
I strongly suspect they would not have had me if the baby had survived.

It feels wrong for me not to acknowledge that I know this as I am usually quite open with them.

DH says if they wanted me to know they would have told me so I should keep up the pretence and not upset them.

WWYD?

YABU do not say anything
YANBU tell them you know

OP posts:
TheNewSchmoo · 18/11/2020 21:52

@upbowcreek

I said they had a third trimester loss in the op. Not sure how it is a drip feed.

I am going to get this thread removed now as some if you on here really need to think about how you speak to others.

I'm trying to do the right thing and not upset people. What are you doing?

The right thing is to respect your mother's dignity and wishes. Earlier you said "how to deal with this". Deal with what? It is NONE of your business and NOT about you, but you seem hell bent on ignoring that. You really need to think about your motivation.
saraclara · 18/11/2020 21:53

Why bother asking questions if you don't listen to the answer?

Yes, why did you ask the question? The overwhelming majority of posters are advising you not to do what you plan to do. But you're not listening. You've only responded to be defensive or to acknowledge a lone voice that agrees with you. And now you're stomping off.

saraclara · 18/11/2020 21:54

@upbowcreek

Thank you *@longwigglylines*. I will indeed leave them to it now. You've had your fun people. Move along and find your next victim.
This hasn't been remotely fun. We're all just feeling really concerned about your mum, and trying to save her from this.
upbowcreek · 18/11/2020 21:54

Yet again: I have never said I plan to bring it up. I have said that was my initial feeling but that I was unsure. Do you people not read????????

OP posts:
longwigglylines · 18/11/2020 21:54

This hasn't been remotely fun. We're all just feeling really concerned about your mum, and trying to save her from this.

Yeah, right. Hmm

You keep telling yourself that.

Mydogmylife · 18/11/2020 21:54

@longwigglylines

explains perhaps the rather odd fixation on ' I might not be here'

What fixation? FFS. Are we reading the same thread?

She mentioned it. Once. Then explained why after being harassed about it.

Haven't you got something better to do than make up things to have a go at people for?

I stand by my comment - if I found out that my mother had gone through such a traumatic event , my first thought would not be how it affected me! I would be more concerned about my mother and how it had affected her .
PaperTowels · 18/11/2020 21:55

@upbowcreek

Thank you *@longwigglylines*. I will indeed leave them to it now. You've had your fun people. Move along and find your next victim.
Funny how all us "bullies" agree with your husband though, isn't it?
upbowcreek · 18/11/2020 21:56

If my husband spoke to me like you have, he wouldn't be my husband for long.
You can disagree with someone without being nasty.

OP posts:
Turtleturtle81 · 18/11/2020 21:57

@upbowcreek

Yet again: I have never said I plan to bring it up. I have said that was my initial feeling but that I was unsure. Do you people not read????????
Yes, we can read. You asked for our opinions because you were unsure and pretty much everyone said it was a terrible idea and explained why. If you didn’t plan to do it and didn’t want our opinion, why did you even start this thread?
PaperTowels · 18/11/2020 21:57
Confused
Mydogmylife · 18/11/2020 21:58

@longwigglylines

This hasn't been remotely fun. We're all just feeling really concerned about your mum, and trying to save her from this.

Yeah, right. Hmm

You keep telling yourself that.

I agree, op knew about the baby, it wasn't a complete unknown, it's just the detail that she's trying to dig out and this could be really upsetting for her mother
Oldbutstillgotit · 18/11/2020 21:58

OP I am not trying to be horrible but what exactly would you hope to achieve by telling your parents that you know ? Serious question .
After my Mum died I found documents about a still born baby boy that she had before I was born . She had never told me . I asked my aunt about it and she said Mum never got over it so it was never discussed . She rarely talked about my twin brother who also died .
Maybe just leave it ?

OffredOfjune · 18/11/2020 21:58

@longwigglylines

Oh give over, ffs. This is a daily occurrence on AIBU. People don't agree with you and it's all "i'll never come on MN again!" "didn't realise MN was full of bullies" blah blah.

Nobody had bullied you in the slightest. We just don't agree with you. Grow up a bit.

Do you know, if someone accused me of bullying, I'd:

a. take it seriously and wonder what I'd done that had upset someone
b. apologise to the person who said it, for hurting their feelings

That you're using this as a stick to beat the OP with says a lot more about you than her.

I haven't been accused of bullying, lol. To be a bully you have to, you know, be one. Nor disagree with someone on an internet forum.
OffredOfjune · 18/11/2020 21:59

not*

PaperTowels · 18/11/2020 21:59

@upbowcreek

If my husband spoke to me like you have, he wouldn't be my husband for long. You can disagree with someone without being nasty.
Do you not get the feeling that you are picking on me, OP?
mathanxiety · 18/11/2020 22:00

...what about the posters who have said it might be a relief to have it in the open? That is all I am thinking here. That it's a hard subject to bring up, that perhaps they might appreciate their baby being acknowledged, that it might bring some comfort.

What makes you think they want comfort?

They moved on. They had you. You have not related any indication of trauma about being parents on their part when you and your sister were under their wing. The baby has been talked about even if briefly.

The idea that your mother needs comfort and that you are going to deliver it, out of the blue, is self-serving.

What makes you think you are the person to deliver comfort, or that now is the moment when your mother needs it, or that your mother has not peacefully closed that chapter in the book that is her life?

This is not about comforting someone else. It's about your perception of a snub, your need to feel close to your mother, your need for an explanation of why your mother kept a memory to herself.

Your mother never had to share more than she felt like sharing with you. Try not to see her decision to keep some things private as a poor reflection on your relationship with her, or as an indication that your relationship was not what you thought it was.

Did you get any help processing the death of your dad?

I've had four MCs. Three were under 9 weeks, one was at 13 weeks.
I don't like talking with my DCs about them. They were traumatic at the time but not any more. I have also lost a sister (in adulthood) and I don't like talking to my DCs about her either, about her life or her untimely death. Even though my DCs are all adults now, I prefer to keep some memories strictly to myself. Her loss affects me in different ways as time goes on and I don't feel as a parent that it is right to unload that on my children even though they're adults. I haven't kept things bottled up in an unhealthy way that needs addressing - I have had counseling, and I have dealt with the gap in my life in different ways that have worked for me, including many deep and meaningful conversations with my other sister and my mother over the years. My DCs' were too young to remember their aunt, and trying to convey her to them in words would only serve to reinforce the finality of her death and the distance that separates us all from her.

I think you should consider the possibility that trying to get your mother to talk to you about the baby who went before you would not be as helpful to her as you want to believe it would be.

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 18/11/2020 22:01

You’re honestly being a bit ridiculous.

Just because you don’t like the way this discussion went doesn’t mean you need to flounce off in a huff.

Many, many people have given you thoughtful, well-considered and actually quite prudent advice.

I understand that for you this is a very big deal, because you’ve just found out about it and are processing it, and that you would like to talk about it to make yourself feel better. But this really isn’t about you. It’s their loss, for them to deal with as they wish, as they have done.

I’d strongly suggest that you at least sit with it for a while, think a bit and make your peace with this new knowledge, before you decide what you’re going to do. I’d give it at least a month.

TheChristmasPrincess · 18/11/2020 22:03

Ignoring the side issues of this thread, I personally wouldn’t want to do anything that might upset my parents. And naturally, bring up the death of their child will most likely upset them to some degree.

OP, are you wanting to ask your parents about this in order to bring some closure to the situation for yourself? I imagine discovering you had a sibling who died young/stillborn etc would be very unsettling and you would feel a loss of what could have been. Perhaps you could do something to honour this child to help bring you closure? Maybe speak to your siblings about making a donation to SANDS in this child’s name, or plant a tree in their memory? Maybe this could even be a way to approach the subject to your parents? Something along the lines of “I found ...’s records and was so moved I wanted to honour them by planting this tree in their name. Would you like to attend/donate/help plan?”

Sleazeyjet · 18/11/2020 22:04

It’s really not about you op.

I lost a baby. My children know I had a loss (there’s a gap between children) but they don’t know the details. They don’t need to. It’s not their business.

It’s private. It’s my business. Discussing it with my children and bringing it out into the open would upset me for nothing. It is over and done with and there’s nothing, literally nothing, to be gained by raking over it again now. What would it achieve?

PaperTowels · 18/11/2020 22:05

@TheChristmasPrincess

Ignoring the side issues of this thread, I personally wouldn’t want to do anything that might upset my parents. And naturally, bring up the death of their child will most likely upset them to some degree.

OP, are you wanting to ask your parents about this in order to bring some closure to the situation for yourself? I imagine discovering you had a sibling who died young/stillborn etc would be very unsettling and you would feel a loss of what could have been. Perhaps you could do something to honour this child to help bring you closure? Maybe speak to your siblings about making a donation to SANDS in this child’s name, or plant a tree in their memory? Maybe this could even be a way to approach the subject to your parents? Something along the lines of “I found ...’s records and was so moved I wanted to honour them by planting this tree in their name. Would you like to attend/donate/help plan?”

The trouble with that is that it's all about the OP, and their feelings. Bringing it up with her parents is going to stir up all sorts of things that are maybe best left settled.

Because once stirred, they cannot be unstirred.

AIMD · 18/11/2020 22:08

No idea why you’re getting such a hard time op.

I found out something similar recently about my parents as a result of finding something in a box. I had the same uncertainties about mentioning it to them. In the end I didn’t though because, as many have mentioned, it is their history and their experience and they would have shared it if they had wanted to.

I understand the feeling though. I think maybe it s a little bit of shock at discovering your parents experiences something you were completely unaware of and not knowing makes you feel a little disconnected from the maybe.

PaperTowels · 18/11/2020 22:09

I’d strongly suggest that you at least sit with it for a while, think a bit and make your peace with this new knowledge, before you decide what you’re going to do. I’d give it at least a month.

Very good advice @HollyandIvyandallthingsYule.

PimlicoJo · 18/11/2020 22:09

This thread has made me realise that it might be possible to find the details of my siblings who were stillborn. I never knew it might be possible, and I have to admit I'm curious.

And then I remember that my late mum, who gave birth to those children, never told me about them. I don't believe she would have forgotten them, but she didn't want to talk about them with me.

So I will leave well alone and respect her decision.

You should do the same OP. If your parents want to talk more about the baby they lost they will. It's their choice, not yours.

ElizaDeee · 18/11/2020 22:10

All this 'wouldn't be here if it didnt happen' bullshit is just that. If a different egg popped out and a different sperm reached it, you wouldn't be here either so its neither here nor there.

Newfornow · 18/11/2020 22:10

Your parents are entitled to a private life.