Neighbour's noise complaint - what to do?

[Frankola]

I'll try to keep this simple. A bit of backstop first.

A month ago an elderly lady moved into the house next door. This house is a 3 story 4 bedroom property attached to mine.

I have a 4 year old daughter and a husband.

Here's the aibu -
Today I answered the door to my elderly next door neighbour who told me that the noise from my house "everyday from 6pm to 10pm is unacceptable".

When I asked her to elaborate she told me that my 4 year old daughter "bangs and shouts".

I really can't get my head around this. From 6pm we are eating tea and getting a bath! My dd isn't banging a drum kit or learning the bagpipes!

I'm shocked that this woman thinks its acceptable to complain about general family living noises at teatime?! Worse still, when I explained that I was quite confused as I'd never had any issues with neighbours over the previous 4 years we've lived there she told me "well you do have a problem now"!

I'm now driving myself mad with the idea shes going to report us to the police or social services or continue to cause us issues with her complaints.

So - aibu to post dog shit through her letterbox?
Seriously though - what would you do?

1. If you move from a detached bungalow then you have to adjust your expectations of the noise caused by others, just as you can’t move from the country to town and be annoyed by the sound of traffic/other people.

1. You shouldn’t have to live in your house always conscious about the noise you make doing every days activities (breathing, eating, being 4 years old!). You sound like you are already considerate by not putting your washing machine etc on at unsociable hours.
2. Keep a note of her visits and complaints, your routine (when you are in/out, what volume you usually have the tv on at, games you might play) and if you hear anything from her apartment. This might seem a lot but the next time she arrives or you receive a letter from anyone else investigating you will be prepared.

Don’t let it annoy you, smile while being sympathetic to her (she is elderly and in a new house she maybe didn’t want to move to and she is alone) and be reassured that you aren’t being unreasonable. Your 4 year old can’t live in fear of the next door neighbour or live in a prison before she goes to bed. Who knows what she has been through to make her cross and so annoyed by it, maybe she isn’t out much and just spends the day inside being annoyed by the noise. Buy her a radio 😂

a few years back we lived in a town house, glorified terrace, neighbours on both sides, one side there were five young children , the mother couldnt control them so when they were home it was non stop noise, the neighbour on the other side were a couple with two small children , every saturday night after pubs shut they would start banging about and yelling at each other, we used to wait for it starting. plus the lady was continually coming round borrowing things which we never got back, seems her husband gave her just enough money to last her that day, so we have had our share of "neighbours ", i know for a fact that sound does carry through walls that arent very thick, we could even hear a light switch being clicked off and on, so really its difficult to know what to say, I do sympathise with both sides

@Frankola
Any update ?
I'd bet my bottom dollar it's the house on the other side of her causing the noise. Did you write that the previous owner of her property left because of problems with them?

@ShortSilence

Also — surely that’s a bit unusual, for a single elderly person to buy a three-storey 4-bed house, in the middle of a pandemic when nobody is allowed to visit. Why would she want all those rooms and so much square footage to maintain? (Genuine question, I’m not hinting at anything specific)

What’s the story there?

My friend bought a house exactly like that when she was in her late 60s.

Both her DCs and all her DGCs lived a long way away, so she needed space for them to stay, plus she occasionally has a lodger for a few weeks in the summer when there's a big event going on locally (she gets free tickets as a result, plus the rental income).

Roll on 10 years and they've all moved much nearer, but she loves the house, it's really convenient for station, shops etc and she can still manage all the stairs, so she sees no reason to move.

[quote AwaAnBileYerHeid]@Heyahun do you have laminate/wooden flooring? The noise from that is unreal, I thought a condition of tenancies was that unless you lived on the ground floor, you had to have carpets to soften the noise, that was the case anyway when I lived in council housing. I only realised how bad it was when I was in a friends house and the noise coming from her upstairs neighbour was horrendous. It was them simply going about their day, but the wooden flooring amplified every footstep.[/quote]
I was thinking that too.

But I was also thinking that it's time noise insulation standards were included in building regs. The more modern the property, the worse it seems to be.

I used to visit a client in a house that was built in 2015. The sound insulation was so poor that when the neighbours used the downstairs lav it sounded like someone was pissing into a metal bucket in his living room. You could hear every cupboard and drawer in the kitchen being opened and closed, every footstep, all conversation and you could even hear the neighbours farting.

The HA that built them had to retrofit acoustic boards to all the houses in the end.

And some noise carries oddly. I live in a 1930s house, and don't hear much from next door, but I can hear thud-thud-thud when my neighbour is using her laptop or pc upstairs. It just sort of reverberates.

@LakieLady Yeah it’s a new build I’m in - about 3 years old

I’m on the top floor so maybe they can hear noise.

I can here next door walking around too - but it doesn’t bother me at all

We rent - so does she and actually from the same letting agent - if she wants to take it up with them That it’s noisy she can! I can’t stop walking around my flat like 😂

It’s an open plan living room and kitchen - I don’t think carpet would be suitable so not sure what the solution is.